What's Love Got To Do With It?

LIFE IS NOT THAT SERIOUS. TAKE TIME TO SMILE AND HAVE A LAUGH WHEN POSSIBLE

    Today is Valentines Day and there are people enjoying the day celebrating being in love with their special someone. And there are those who have not found their special someone and are not feeling so cheery today. It's okay. I'm here to hopefully uplift you with my writing about the crazy world of nature and how humans are only a BIT different when it comes to "Getting busy" "Knocking boots" "Hooking up" "Doing the Wild Thang" and what ever the young people slang is for having SEX (leave a comment which I know you will tell me how my slang is outdated).

    This post was originally written in the height of spring 2023. I love it so much I wanted to share it with you again on this day when everyone's attention is on having a significant OTHER or not having one. Let me be your significant OTHER today and let me shower YOU today with a smile. My BEST gift I can give to you.

    There are few people who cringe when the topic of sex is brought up. Parents belong to the group of cringers when it comes to thinking about their sweet innocent children one day having sex. On the other hand, children cringe thinking of the possibility their geriatric parents EVER had sex.

    Be that as it may, live long enough and you too will eventually have sex. Live long enough and you will regret your choice of at least one sex partner. 

    I know many decided to click on this blog, this particular post, hoping for some steamy or even perverted writing regarding SEX. I aim to please.

    The problem you may find with this writing is that it is not about people having sex; well, not diectly. I will not be offering my expertise in this area nor any new-found techniques or positions. Believe me, no matter how good or unique you may believe yourself to be in this area, there is nothing new under the sun and many masters exist.

    With my gardening backgroud, passion, and enjoyment, I find this time of year to be a-buzz with sexual activity in the insect world. EVERYTHING is trying to recreate itself and PLEASURE does not seem to factor into it as it does with us humans. But, as always, there is always a hint of the animal world or nature found within ourselves.

    

    The male ladybug evidently does not need much or expects any participation from the lady he chooses to spend some time with. Human men have a cheif complaint of sex being 'horrible' with a woman/partner who just lays there. The male ladybug is able to go for HOURS. Many human woman may nor prefer hours, but have a complaint of the sexual union ending far quicker than she would hope. But as with the male ladybug, there is a certain amount of "I'm in this just for me" that crosses over into the human sexual experience. But, come on dude; she's DEAD.

    Men also complain women use sex as a bargaining chip. Want to have sex? Take out the garbage, or buy me a gift, take me to a movie or dinner, etc., etc., etc. To just get in on the action, the male human has to do a great deal (according to them). So women, give the man what he wants. SEX and instant DEATH just like the female praying mantis does.

    Everybody knows that men think about sex every seven seconds. What people haven’t perhaps considered is that means more than 8000 times a day or 56 000 times a week. Really? Did everybody know that?  When The Kinsley Institute researchers asked men and women how often they think about sex, 54 percent of men said they think about sex several times a day, 43 percent responded a few times per week or just a few times per month, and 4 percent said less than once a month. Meanwhile, 19 percent of women said they thought about sex every day or several times a day, 67 percent responded a few times per week or a few times a month or, and 14 percent said less than once a month. So the every seven seconds is myth and legend.

     But, would they think of it at all if their balls exploded and they died after that ONE glorious orgasm? Women wouldn't be at risk of dying after an orgasm since women said they reach orgasm 31-40% of the time in response to the question about intercourse in general. By contrast, women said they reached orgasm even more often with assisted intercourse (51-60% of the time), but less often with unassisted intercourse (21-30% of the time). Women are just destined to outlive men lol. No EXPLOSIONS going on her way.

    

    We women are not as extreme as the dragonfly in our efforts to get out of having sex, but does the phrase: "Not tonight dear. I have a headache" ring a bell? Men, never the wiser, have not realized their sexual partner somehow freakishly has at least three 'periods' a month rendering them temporarily out of commission in the sex department. Thank goodness, along with getting directions, men don't do the math on menstrual cycles per month. Moving right along.

    Okay ladies. By a show of hands how many of you have been awakened from a sound sleep by an object, which you recognized imeediately as a penis, pokinng you in the back? WHAT IS UP WITH THAT? Men, you use that sexual organ like a heat seeking missile!! A poke here. A poke there. I mean, REALLY! Do you ever think it can be a traumatizing experience in the same way as the bedbug? No. In your charm, you view it as an assault with a FRIENDLY WEAPON. And God love you, we women giggle and join in.

    All of the above sex acts seem so UNNATURAL, but they are completely NATURAL in the insect world and the human world. All of the sexual interactions must occur in order for survival to continue. The persistent and tenacious gets to procreate and pass along DNA. Taking chances to mate with the dead and sometimes half dead, is a chance worth taking. Going after the desired ONE, at the risk of loss of life and limb, is worth it. Faking death and illness to get out of MATING insures the BEST DNA is passed along. Women do have to be selective in choosing the father of her offspring; a lesson needed to be learned and understood in this generation of sexually active, child bearing age people.

     Right now the air, literally, the air is filled with sexual activity in every direction the eye can rest. When we think about having the 'sex talk' with our children it is not referred to the 'birds and the bees' talk for no reason. If we were to actually explain what the birds and bees are truly doing it would frighten our children off of the idea of ever having sex. Even though it's hard for parents to hold the thought of their blossoming children becoming sexually active, we don't want them to NOT EVER have a happy healthy sex life. But, man, it's harsh out there for a bug. 

Please remember to buy my book When Will Eve Be Forgiven? available on amazon.co. Please share, like, comment and follow my blog. Thank you.

 

Women Want To Get Married Today?

  

It is almost Valentine's Day and many women are waiting and hoping for the PROPOSAL. Candy, flowers, and jewelry are fine, but women prefer to become the MRS. At Valentine's Day time, women seem to be in love more so than any other month. Do woman really want a husband or do they just want others to know someone wants them?

    If you follow Facebook, all you will read is a woman wanting to get married. Women dream of a man asking them to be his. They may just be caught up in the fantasy of a man loving them enough to marry them because research is showing women are NOT in a rush to say ‘I do’ anymore. When they do finally find that special someone they are willing to marry, you may be surprised to know the science or lack thereof on how he becomes the lucky little fellow. Below are some statistics on the marital condition of the U.S. and a few looks at how women select their mates. Get ready to be SHOCKED.

    The percentage of adults living with a spouse decreased from 52% to 50% over the past decade according to U.S. Census Bureau's annual America's Family and Living Arrangement report as of November 29, 2021.We heard many GROANS when the pandemic made us stay at home for an extended period of time with our special someone. The good news was women seemed more able to tolerate their spouse than their children for long periods of time. A win for men, but only slightly.

    Among those ages 25 to 54, 59% of all Black adults were unpartnered in 2019. What's up with that Black people? We are beautiful, have gorgeous bodies, and run urban culture and fashion but can't fall in love and marry? I need a word with yall later in another blog post. 

     Unmarried Hispanics were 38%, Whites 33%, and Asians 29%. Millennials, with the oldest being 40 now (I thought I was a Millennial. NOT) are slower to start their own households and are cohabitating more than Gen Zers. Members of the Gen Z years were born between 1997 and 2012. So as of 2023, the Gen Z age range is anywhere from 11 to 26. I have told yall NOT to shack up over and over again.

    There is NO such thing as a trial marriage to get to know each other better or to see if you get along. In MARRIAGE you will get to know each other as the years go by. Hopefully, your spouse will change and grow every decade. Each spouse has to change and grow, adapting to each others growth, or DECLINE. If you are trying to find whether your intended has faults, guess what, EVERYONE has faults. Marriages are not smooth sailing, but married people commit to OVERCOMING problems. Don't be a trial for anyone! You will always FAIL a trial. Be the person someone says, "They may not be perfect but they are perfect for me and my love for them covers anything that may annoy me or we have to work through." Cohabitating or shacking is a 'get out of jail free' card when playing married gets a little rocky. Don't live with anyone who can't determine if you are the one they want to marry. You will be doing wife/husband duty with someone who doesn't love you enough to marry. You are gambling hoping if you hang around long enough they MAY choose you. 

    Women are choosing to get higher education and to focus on their careers. Pew reported Millennials with a bachelor's degree, or more, are marrying at a higher rate than those with less education, but they are living without children. Women are earning 60% of college degrees and hitting the workplace in all areas hard. Women are preparing for a future with or without a spouse. 

    In the last 30 years, marriage rates have gone down by almost 40% and divorce rates saw a decrease to 3 out of every 1,000 of the population. DUH. If you're not marrying, you're not divorcing.

    It is predicted there will be 2.5 million weddings in 2022, the most since 1984 according to the Wedding Report, a trade group that gathered its data through a survey of vendors and consumers. Median age to marry for first time marrying adults was 38.4 for men and 28.6 for women in early 2021. WOMEN, dont waste your time on men under the age of 35 if you are serious about marriage. There are 37 million one-person households in 2021 or 21% of all U.S. households. In 2021, 34% of adults 15 and over had never been married, up from 23% in 1950.

    As much as we love our independence, we are still a flawed and socially linked, if not dependent, in matters of the heart. Women pay even more attention than men to what others THINK about their choice in a partner, according to an Indiana University study described on Jezebel.com. Women want other women to LOOK but not touch their man. If no one else wants him then women may begin to think "Why do I want him?" So, he has to be desirable to others also.

    Not only do they take notice of what their friends think, but they want to know how complete strangers assess their potential partner. It's called "mate choice copying," and it's documented in many other species, especially fish and birds. I am always amazed how women are quick to wear or purchase in mass the same thing, COPY other women's fashion. Take makeup for instance. You can distinctly see women are doing the exact same thing with makeup (contouring to drag queen status) and baby hair (the black women know what I mean by baby hair) on each and every head. Women are wearing eyelashes so big and thick they could take flight when they bat their eyelids. So, mate copying is not a far stretch to believe.

    EYE CANDY prevails for surprising reasons. New research suggests that women measure a man's potential as a mate based on the masculinity of his features. The man who has a square jaw and a very well-defined brow ridge is considered a great short-term partner because he will be adventurous, fun and exciting. He is not considered a long-term partner because he will likely be too busy with his competitive challenges than he would be on being a good partner. This may come as a shock to the Red Pill movement encouraging MASCULINITY on a nuclear scale. Science says he will be a short-term fling.

    The woman who is looking for a long-term mate will be seeking the man with gentler features, more rounded in the face and with fuller lips. This is a man who would be less likely to CHEAT on his spouse or abandon them for his adventures or more. Participants in the study overwhelmingly defined the men with the most masculine features as the men with the greatest risk.

    Romantically and statistically, when you look at the rebellious male figure in a story - his chiseled, square jaw and his emphasized brow ridges define him. He is extremely masculine, and he is extremely difficult to entreat into a long-term relationship. According to other studies in psychology, women tend to view men with very masculine features as great flings, but hardly long-term potential. These are the types of men more likely to abandon them or die young - so while their contribution to producing OFFSPRINGS is great, their potential as a mate for life is not.

    There are other explanations to be offered to mate selection and part of the answer seems to be how much your prospective partner looks like your dad. This is according to researchers at Durham University led by Lynda Boothroyd, who have shown that women who have good childhood relationships with their fathers are more likely to select partners whose faces resemble those of their dads. 

    The researchers were looking for evidence of parental sexual imprinting, a sexual preference for individuals that have some of the characteristics of one's parent.  There is no doubt my daughters want a husband just like dad in character and I won't be surprised if he has features like their father too. Creepy for me to have replicas of my husband hanging around as a son-in-law.

    A group of women were shown photographs of men's faces and asked to rate their attractiveness. The faces were measured (using calipers) and compared to the women's fathers. The women were also asked to rate their relationships with their fathers, in terms of how much time he spent with them and how emotionally involved he was in their upbringing. The results proved they ranked men with features resembling their fathers as attractive.
    
    The study follows on from an earlier effort by another researcher, Tamas Bereczkei, showing that men's wives bore a stronger resemblance to the men's mothers if they had had a good relationship with them as children. The phenomenon of parental sexual imprinting has also been heavily studied in many animal species, for example zebra finches.

    Men complain women confuse and frustrate them to no end. There is so much scientific information regarding attraction and how our minds work in that area. Nothing is exact because most of us are so DYSFUNCTIONAL and UNHEALTHY in many areas of our being, but you can get a clue or red flags. I find so much helpful information when I just look into what my goals are. I do believe once we become our best selves' things fall into place. But we rarely want to do any work on ourselves. We will change or cut our hair, get a new look fashion-wise, and use the right buzz words, but rarely do we change our character and how we show up in life. My YouTube channel deals with a return to health; mentally, spiritually/religiously, financially, sexually, relationally, and physically before we invite a romantic partner into our lives.

    In the Bible, marriage and family ranks very high. We are beginning to find no relevance in marriage anymore due to various reasons. With all the information above it is evident there must first be the ‘DESIRE’ to marry. I hope we women have not given up on this institutionof marriage because of a long laundry list of everything that must be perfect for us to marry, because *****NEWS FLASH****** marriage isn’t perfect. For more wonderful marriage statistics:

http://www.prb.org/Articles/2010/usmarriagedecline.aspx.

Please buy my book When Will Eve Be Forgiven? to understand the value of women to creation and how to have healthy selfesteem available on amazon.com. PLEASE like, comment, and share.

Men or Women Lie the Most?

     

     The going joke this time of year is that he starts a fight with you to break up, so he doesn't have to buy you a Valentine's Day gift (ditto for Christmas). The only thing funny about this joke is NOTHING because it may be true.

    This wonderful time of year filled with love, whether faked love, love out of convenience, or the real deal made me wonder, "Who lies more in relationships, men or women?"

    Seems like there would be an easy answer to this question. Men say women lie the most with venom dripping from their lips as they answer the question. Women say men lie the most with a role of their eyes and acceptance of it as a fact to live with and become use to. But the truth is - we all lie so much it's hard to declare a true winner. The difference is - What men and women lie about the most.

    There are 3 types of lies. THE BLACK LIE benefits the liar at a cost for another person (why it's called BLACK I have a problem with). THE ALTRUISTIC LIE benefits another person at a cost for the liar. THE PARETO WHITE LIE benefits both the liar and another person. The three types of lies were found in a study of 8.728 people in a meta-analysis where males were significantly more likely to tell black lies than females told altruistic lies (Gender Differences in Lying, www.journal.sjdm.org/18/18619a/jdml18619a.html).

    Research in psychology has revealed the existence of a significant gender effect in lying behavior, depending on context and type of lie. It has been shown men's lies are more self (selfish) oriented while women's lies are more other oriented.

    Psychology Today says self-serving lies are lies people tell to make themselves look better or to spare themselves from embarrassment, punishment, blame, or from getting their feelings hurt. Men tell more of these lies than women. Kind-hearted lies are lies told with the intent of making another person look better, feel better, to spare from embarrassment, punishment, blame, or getting their feelings hurt. Women tell more of these according to Bella DePaulo Ph.D.

    For a woman, telling a partner how she feels about his family is the number one lie and second is telling her partner how she feels about his sexual technique.

    Men rank higher in how often they lie, and they consider themselves better liars than women according to researchers at the University of Portsmouth. Expert liars, according to Dr. Brianna Verigin, prefer to lie face-to-face rather than by text or e-mail. The better a person think they are at lying the more lies they tell. 

    People lie to appear important, to be the center of attention, or because they seek sympathy or acceptance according to a 2020 study. Pathological lying is a mental disorder, and they live in a fantasy world and generally have low self-esteem. Prolific liars tend to be young, male, and have higher occupational status. Most studies found no gender difference in frequency of lying.

    The best study I found studying who lies more in relationships was done in the UK: men lie more than their partners, 1 in 10 claim to do it regularly. A quarter of the population don't completely trust their current partner.

    According to a scientific study, there is one way to tell if your woman is cheating on you: if your female partner is faking orgasms, it is highly likely she is faking other aspects of your relationship too, including the part where she is faithful.

     Sign of lying include: avoiding eye contact, being vague or offering few details, body language like saying "no" but nodding the head "yes", fidgeting, rigidity, rubbing brow, playing with hair (oddly this is also the signal a woman is interested in you), slouching, defensiveness, evasive answers, perspiring on the brow, placing a barrier such as a chair/desk in front of self, saying "no" several times, smugness, stalling the conversation, unusual calmness, unusual voice fluctuation, and unwillingness to touch spouse/partner during the conversation.

    The sad truth is we are lying human beings and we do it often. It's all about the lies we are willing to accept or overlook in our relationships. No one likes to be lied to, but sometimes lies will do until we are ready to face the truth.

      The truth is Valentine's Day reveals if you are that special someone or if he is just not that into you. A breakup during Valentine's season is truly a crushing thing but taking him back after Valentine's Day is over tells more about the woman than the man. I do believe it is not fair to have a set aside day forcing a man to demonstrate his love monetarily. He should be demonstrating it every day in the relationship and that may not be through how much or how he spends money on a woman. He should be making you feel special at all times so all of your hopes and dreams of him loving you won't be expected on just one day leading to disappointment. 

    Men, on the other hand, get over on Valentine's Day. All it takes is a balloon and a few roses to any woman to convince her she is the one when she is only one of many or the new set up. Valentine's Day is the player of the year most active day. It's his Olympic gold medal day. He can say I love you without even saying it with a teddy bear or a box of candy. On thirsty Valentine's Day, women wait and wait for their present, a declaration of love when upon rising that day she already knows the status of her relationship in her heart. So, there is a chance he is lying to you, or you are lying to yourself. What's the difference with so much lying going on throughout the year?

    Those of you with the real deal called love, congratulations. Long live love. It does exist and it is a beautiful thing. Those who do not have anyone at this time of year, never give up. Who knows, you may end up with love that shows up for more than one day of the year.