Sitting in the exam room after receiving radioactive dye for my PETscan to look for a tumor or even worse, most would be anxious about pending test results. When met with the unknown we tend to think the worst will happen. Much like an illness, which may threaten your health. Donald Trump has many people feeling the same type of anxiety.
The average person won't admit to the negative thoughts circulating in their head immediately after hearing a doctor use the words 'tumor' or 'cancer.' I know I had a million thoughts going through my mind in the first minutes of receiving the news. FIGHTING was not my first thought. No. All of my fears, those I knew I had and those that came out of the blue, circulated in my head, dizzying me.
Then, after a few minutes there was an empty feeling of nothing. I guess this is the shock stage. My mind must have overloaded with the numerous scenarios filled with negativity like, what about my children and how long do I have. There was silence in my head, in the core of my being. Many have gone through these same emotions on the night Donald Trump won his second presidential election, an empty dark feeling.
Those who had worked tirelessly to warn the citizens of America that Trump is unfit to be president due to his greed, immorality, childishness, pettiness, and lack of intelligence, were disappointed with the election results knowing what was coming in the future. That's what you think about once you can think again when given a diagnosis of cancer - the future.
The bad life altering news that Trump won a second presidency had the worst imaginable scenarios floating through voter's minds on election night. That horrible night Trump won for a second time. Bleak dark thoughts came, but the reality is even worse then imagined on that initial night. If voters were like me, it took three months for the empty hollow feeling of shock to subside. What was it replaced with?
After leaving the doctor's office with my new, not yet verified diagnosis of a tumor, I wanted information. I wanted to know everything about my possible condition. I turned to facts. I couldn't allow myself to just GUESS what may be occurring in my body. I had to have FACTS. After Trump's win, facts became the enemy of his administration. Truth is being hidden or out and out lied about. I can imagine if my access to information about tumor was restricted how much more anxious, fearful, I would have become. Thank goodness it wasn't. Trump knows facts are his enemy. It alleviates fear/anxiety.
Having facts matter when there is something that is causing confusion, chaos, fear, or uncertainty in your life. Truth is a wonderful tool to eliminate or minimize fear. The Trump administration does not want to get rid of fear and anxiety in Americans. It's their best asset in getting voters to support them. The worse scenarios play out on Fox News nightly warning MAGA and Christians that their lives are in danger.
After taking what I hope is my first and last radioactive dye IV, I have to wait for an hour before the scan. It was a LONG wait for this day. I had to wait for over 30 days for what I hope today will be my last BIG test to find a true diagnosis to my health problems. While I waited those 30 days, there were pills, numerous emergency room trips, more sickness (vomiting, diarhea), restrictions on my daily life, change after change of medications and depression from being so sickly. I lost a tremendous amount of muscle mass and look weak.
The first 100 days of Trump's presidency was one emergency or crazy thing after the next. The American people became tired of seeing what he was doing and is still doing to our country. Like cancer or a tumor, the disease of the Trump adminisration makes you ill from head to toe. His daily antics cause Americans to have various symptoms of frustration, anger, confusion, sadness and worry - all taking a toll on the health. His growth is also quiet and steady as it invades our lives and being. We're looking for a remedy for the problem, but for now, we swallow the hard pills he gives the citizens of America. But we need a final answer of what this cancerous DISEASE Trump is spreading around the world, and finding the correct approach to erradicate it. We want a majic shot that will make it all go away, at least we hope it can be that simple.
After doing research on my possible tumor, I was relieved to read surgically removing should restore my healt. Just remove the tumor or the tumor and organ it is sitting on (invading, destroying my normal cells). I can't tell you how relieved I was after reading that. BUT the test I'm taking today is making sure it is not in any other unseen areas. Yikes! Not out of the woods yet.
To the dismay of the public, Trump has invaded every area of our government. He has secret cells hiding waiting to be activated for purposes that are not to the benefit of the people he governs. Their spread is from one end of our country to the next, up and bottom too. It will take something strong to try to clear up the spread.
To learn tumer celss have spread changes the ball game for me. Now we're looking at the big guns: chemo or radiation. This kills good cells as well as the bad cells and it's hard on the body. More sickness is expected and sometimes the outcome is promised. Now that is fear and anxiety territory. But I'm getting ahead of myself. One day at a time Dorothy. One day at a time.
As Trump disregard the law and rule of the land with, knowing he can not be prosecuted, he is wrecking our home, our country. Protest have occurred with more planned. A first level treatment for the ills of Trump. But is that strong enough to bring his authoritarian ways to heel? When talking about cancer, people say you BEAT cancer. Trump, it seems can't be beat by LEGAL ways. He has stacked every government body with his croonies. The INFECTION has consumed our government. What medication or treatment is strong enough for the cacer in the White House?
Lying still in the big white tube, strapped down and immobile, I feel helpless as the loud hum of the machine echos a steady vibratine noise. Fox News is the same kind of humming noise, to me. A steady barage until the job is complete. I lay there stil, not daring to move, cold, stomach growling because I could eat befor the test. I'm more than uncomfortable, but not in any severe pain.
Democrats and others joining them in protest are asking, "Where are the Black People?" Their answer is they didn't do anything to help or cause Trump to get elected. Sounds like the non-smoker who gets lung cancer. They didn't do it to themselves. It isn't fair to get lung cancer if you don't smoke. Well, Black America now metaphorically has lung cancer and NEVER smoked.
But once you receive the diagnosis, the HOW you got soon goes on the back burner and you have to handle what you have been unfairly or fairly dealt. Black people will sooner or latter have to enter into the treatment plan for the disease we call President. That is they want to LIVE. People receiver such a life-changing diagnosis may decide not to fight. To give in and give up. It's the Big C! It doesn't play! I can't BEAT it and give up before trying. Some hit depression and say, "Nothing the doctor does will nake a difference," and many feel that way now about Trump.
Okay, the test is done, now I wait. I wait for my doctor to give me some news. Funny how much the news isn't trusted anymore but how wonderful we can get a second, third, forth opinion (you know what I mean) to make sure what is seen on imaging is TRUE. Trump doesn't want Americans to have the option of second opinions on anything. He just wants you to leave things in his hands. So I'm in the waiting stage. My future can be affected in devastating ways with the doctor's report. It can destroy my world or make me stronger. But there will be a CHANGE.
But, I wait, I pray, and I prepare the best I can for what is to come. The UNKNOWN. But I'm sick and need some kind of intervention. I can't just check out. I have others to think about. I have hopes and dreams yet to fulfill and I will use them as my motivation to not QUIT. Even if it gets tough and painful. I won't quit.
Donald Trump is counting on Americans to quit even though they know ther is a sickness. He lies and says all is well, removing anything that can tell you different. He's a cancer delighting in metaticizing throughout the world. Infecting devout Christians who turn to him to be in charge of curinng the ill they perceive in our country. The treatment plan Trump offers is not going to get rid of the disease that is HIM. He will use, for the complaints from the sickness, medicines that feed instead of destroy the cancer that he is.
We all have been hearing the news much like that given to a patient in a doctpr's office. The BIG C the doctor is informinng Americans about is The Big C - the Constitution whose health is in danger. No. It's at critical. After the negative thought the shock of it all the sickness while waiting, there will be a time where you will have to choose SURERY, RADIATION, or CHEMOTHERAPY or a combination or all. On the other hand, one can choose to give up. Do nothing. Wait till its all over.
What do I plant to do? Fight!!! In every sense of the word!! FIGHT!
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