Middle Child Birth Order Part 2

 

Parenting is not an exact science. There is not a manual handed out in the delivery room. Most of us do what our parents did as parents. While watching a documentary on the cannibal serial killer, Jeffery Daumer, his mother was very agitated at the idea of others blaming her parenting skills for her son's actions. Did I say parenting is difficult? 

    We should never stop trying to improve our parenting skills, we owe it to our children. Every little insight in this endeavor of being mom and dad should be weighed for its value in helping your child to grow up happy and healthy. 

    In my first part of this 3-part series of birth order, I discussed the first-born child, the golden child. The middle child is neither golden nor special like the oldest and baby of the family. The middle child falls in a type of no man's land of description. They are neither precious, able, oldest, nor considered vulnerable like the youngest child of the family. Their strength is they learn to be more flexible and sociable and learn to compromise and build coalitions. Middle children tend to be more relaxed. They become skilled negotiators, social butterflies, fairness-obsessed, and peacemakers. They are Switzerland.

    The MIDDLE CHILD, better described as the "iffy" child, is hard to pin down. It can be said of the middle child that they were either born too late or too early. They fall into that no man's land of not being the first-born, the star of the family, in which mom and dad lavish attention on them over the meagerest of accomplishments and the baby they cherish for just coming in last. Too late to get privileges and special treatment of the first-born and too early to benefit from the relaxed rules of discipline most of the last born enjoy. 

    There is not an easy list of personality traits to attach to the middle child because they are most directly influenced by the first-born child and that pattern continues to roll downhill. The third child will be influenced by the second child and so forth until you reach the last child of the family (who is a different can of worms). 

    The middle child looks above and sizes up the older sibling. If he or she senses he can compete with the older sibling, they may do so. But if the older sibling is stronger, smarter, etc., the second born typically shoots off in another direction, making their known personality traits difficult to nail down; thus, they are "iffy." 

    So, the second born may become a pleaser or an antagonize, a victim or a martyr, or a manipulator or a controller. Any of these options are up for grabs, but one thing you can be sure of is that the second born will play off of the first-born. 

EXAMPLE: the first-born child may be perfectly compliant and the second born will be a handful. It is not unusual for the middle child to have more friends as a substitute family in which they find the attention they feel is lacking within the family structure. Friends become very important to middle children. 

    The middle child is usually the child who leaves home the quickest and is more of a free spirit giving themselves permission to reject the family's do's and don'ts at least in part. They may become mentors or even at times be manipulative. Because they could not have mom and dad all to themselves and get their way, they learn how to negotiate and compromise. 

    The middle child is apt to not be as religious as their parents and siblings and are less likely to be rebellious against their parents. They are trustworthy friends and work well in teams. When looking back to childhood as adults they tend to express negative views about their childhood. They are often the first to move out of the family home and move the furthest away. They are more open to taking risks and being open to new ideas. 

 HOW YOU AS THE MIDDLE CHILD CAN STAND YOUR GROUND

1. Middle children are the most sensitive of all the children and do not confide in many people. This can pose a problem in marriage more so than in everyday life. Learn to share your opinions and ideas with others. 

2. Less likely to seek out services from helping professionals such as psychologists, counselors, or ministers (first-born engineers and doctors lead in seeking out help, followed by last-born). Don't be so tough and independent until you will not seek out what you need.

 3. Running with the "pack" is fine when a choice group of people with values, morals, ethics is the criteria for your group of friends. Don't spread yourself too thin with all of your friends. 

4. Middle children are the kings and queens of monogamy. Enough said. Good for you.

.

 5. You are prone to embarrassment and reluctant to admit it. Everyone makes mistakes and embarrassment is part of life.

    Being a middle child does have benefits. They are emotionally strong and less prone to be diagnosed with disorders like ADHD. There is nothing they can't handle. They are good marriage material. Being in the middle allows them to experience the best of both worlds. They get the wisdom of the first-born and are leaders to their younger siblings. One pulls them up and the other keeps them young. They get away with more than the older or younger children. They don't have 'helicopter parenting' like the older and younger children. They have an official Middle Child Day, August 12th, and 52% of the commanders-in-chiefs have been middle children.

    I am a mother of a middle child and we, as a family, Mom, Dad, and other siblings, put forth effort from day one to ensure that our middle child did not get lost in the shuffle or get ignored. We call her "middle baby" from time to time and joke about how she is invisible and forgotten. We can joke about it because we made sure she was neither invisible nor forgotten. 

    So, does she have any of the "iffy" characteristics of the middle child? You bet! She is the peace maker and negotiator of the family; we call her the 'glue.' She bridges everything between everyone in the house. Did she sum up her big sis? Yes, she did. She picked up her older sister's HOBBY of drawing and became a Graphic Designer while her older sister became a doctor. They bonded (eight years difference) while drawing and it is their special thing, and the student surpassed the teacher in their case. 

    She hates being embarrassed on an almost psychotic level. We had to keep an eye on her when she was young because she would be too embarrassed to tell us if she fell and hurt herself. We have been working on the embarrassment issue for years. She is not a social butterfly though; her two sisters are her best friends as she gets older her circle may expand, who knows. 

    All in all, I believe I had a stereotypical middle child, if anything the family overcompensated for our middle baby, which I'm sure there are some ramifications for. So, I have discussed the first-born and the middle child. 

The group I belong to will be discussed next: THE LAST CHILD, the bab

What Power Does Your Name Have?

 

   There is a spiritual movement saying you can speak wealth or happiness into existence by the words you say and use. You say it and proclaim it. If you ask these people "How are you?" their response will be "I'm blessed." because they want to receive blessings. They are using words as power for manifestation.

    When raising my children, I told them to never say anything negative about themselves to people, because how you talk/speak about yourself, others will do also. Words matter.

    People (mothers) take great pain trying to select new and clever names for their newborn babies. They try to spell those names in unique ways. Looking to the Bible as an example, the names of people within the Bible all had DESTINY meanings. New mothers don't necessarily select destiny names for their babies, but names that are cute. But when you say any word it echos in the universe with power. 

    During slavery, it was understood yet not understood the power of a person's name. Slaves were never addressed as sir/maam or Mr./Mrs. because that would elevate them in stature and position. In the South many black people insist on children addressing people as sir or maam still as a show of respect. Sadly, I must say, black people address white people as sir or maam, but white people do not address black people as sir or maam. 

    Slaves were given their master's last name as in ownership. Slaves established a practice of calling nonrelatives auntie and uncle due to the fact that their blood family relatives were sold breaking family ties so substitute family members were created. This is a practice still in the black community as to claiming God mothers and such. So, the names we use and give ourselves matter. They are spoken powerful words.

     I don't know how many years it has been exactly, but there was a time when women were addressed by the name of their husband e.g. Mrs. Tom Jones and not as Mrs. Mary Jones. This also was to show ownership in that time period when women did not have any rights. 

    I began to think more about "What does a name say about us as women?" Does taking our husband's name make any dramatic statement one way or the other? I have often posted that one of the biggest signs that a man truly loves you is when he wants/does give you and your future children his last name; he is willing to proclaim to the world 'I love HER enough for her to be a complete part of me by sharing my name.' Lovely sentiment when viewed through my rose-colored glasses. I guess there are those who will hold to the old truth of the surname being a moniker of ownership and possession.

    Let's move from surnames to first names. I read the credits for movies and televisions shows and I can barely pronounce the names. The more difficult the name is to spell or say, the prouder the mother seems to be. In my family, my girls and I agreed we wanted the world to know our names and thus wanted our names to be easy to spell and pronounce. I guess vanity has its place.

WHAT DOES YOUR NAME SAY ABOUT YOU?

    I think I have said in prior posts how proud I am of my name: DOROTHY. In my youth I dreamed of the day when I would become an adult and petition the court to change my name. Somewhere along the way, I gained respect for the name I was coronated with at the day of my birth. Somewhere along the line I became DOROTHY.

    Let's look at what you speak when you say the name of person. If you are a married mother, then your name is CALLED at least a hundred times a day. So, the universe is bombarded by your name 700 times in a week at least. That's a lot of energy going out on your behalf. Let's use my name as an example.

Dorothy \d(o)-ro-thy\ as a girl's name its pronounced DOR-a-thee. It is of Greek origin, and the meaning of Dorothy is "gift of God". This is how the Greek phrase Δώρων Θεός meaning "Gift of God looks. Theodora is the synonym of Dorothy. Literary: the heroine of Frank Baum's "The Wonderful World of Oz", published in 1900. Writers Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Sayers; actresses Dorothy Gish, Dorothy Lamour are a few famous Dorothys.

    Dorothy has 40 variant forms: Dasha, Dasya, Dodie, Dody, Doe, Doll, Dolley, Dolli, Dollie, Dolly, Doortje, Dora, Doretta, Dori, Dorika, Dorinda, Dorit, Dorita, Doritha, Dorlisa, Doro, Doronit, Dorota, Dorotea, Dorotha, Dorothea, Dorothee, Dortha, Dorrit, Dorthea, Dorthy, Dory, Dosha, Dosya, Dot, Dottey, Dottie, Dotty, Tea and Thea.

    Dorothy is a very popular first name for women (#10 out of 4276) and also a very popular surname or last name for all people (#19719 out of 88799). (1990 U.S. Census) 
 
    My Greek name meaning 'Gift of God' has put some pressure on me. I asked myself "Was I born a Gift of God or am I supposed to live up to and become or do something worthy to be called a Gift of God?"
 

    If words have power, as the Bible tells us, there is power in the words we speak; we can murder with our words. While on the subject of the bible, we are given definitions of the names of key people in the Bible. Many of their destinies were in line with their names and some names were changed as their destiny/purpose changed.
 
    From 1880-1950, Dorothy was a popular name, ranking in the top 5 of names for girls. In 2000 the name bottomed out.
In Hebrew my name is spelled:  דּוֹרוֹתִּי
 
Looks pretty good in Chinese           桃乐丝
    The first section or character of my name in Chinese means peach or a surname.
The second section or character means Happy, glad, joyful, cheerful.  Enjoy, be glad to, love, find pleasure in; laugh, be amused.  Pleasure, enjoyment.  Gladly, happily, willingly, or a surname.
The third section or character of my name means Silk; a threadlike thing; a tiny bit. A unit of weight (=0.0005 grams).
 
    Even in numerology my name has meaning. Numerology is an ancient science which was developed by Pythagoras. Numerology offers an insight into the personality by assigning numeric values to the letters contained in names. The results provide the hidden meaning of the name Dorothy. Each letter contained in the name is assigned a number. Every number is associated with specific characteristics. Work out the value of each of the letters in your name using the following table: GIVE IT A TRY.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

A B C D E F G H I

J K L M N O P Q R

S T U V W X Y Z

Example: Cathy

C A T H Y       B R O W N E

3 1 2 8 7          2 9 6 5 5 5

Add together all the numbers of the name Cathy (3+1+2+8+7) = 21 and Browne (2+9+6+5+5+5) = 32

Then add together the values 21+32 = 53

Then add together 5+3 = 8
    The numerological value, or Name Number, of the example name is therefore 8. Use this method of numerology to calculate the value of your full name and find the hidden meanings and characteristics of the name Dorothy together with any middle names and your last name. ***My number is 1 when using my first, middle, and last name.

Number Meaning & Characteristics


1 Competitive - a leader, independent, strength, creative and original

2 Diplomatic - friendly, tactful, peaceful, gentle and sensitive

3 Optimistic - Easygoing, sociable, spontaneous and humorous

4 Traditionalist - Determined, reliable, conservative, activist and organized

5 Creative - Free spirited, artistic, enquiring, innovative and influential

6 Contributor - Responsible, careful, conventional and reliable

7 Inventive - Imaginative, resourceful, eccentric, quiet and thoughtful

8 Organizer - Leadership skills, planner, strong, high achiever and sound judgment

9 Humanitarian - Compassionate, caring, charitable and civilized


The numerical value of just DOROTHY is 5:
    Numerological Analysis: Represents people who are impulsive, instinctive, like changes, dynamic, need freedom and space with unconventional personality. Able to do several things at once, adaptive, charismatic and acceptable in society. Have a sense of distinction and sense of criticism. Like freedom and tend to lack a sense of time. I say that's me.

   The man who tried to assassinate Ronald Reagan said his first, middle, and last name added together was 666. Like I say, man (humans can take what is meant for good and make it bad). It is evident that when you say my name, a name I once hated, you are saying a mouthful. It doesn't have any unique vowel combinations and it is not a compilation of my mother's and father's name, but I think it was the perfect choice.

    So, for those manifesting desires and dreams with their usage of words I hope it works out well for you. Prayers are just that. Using choice select words to petition or thank the Creator. Many who practice Witchcraft say their chants are no different than prayers, they are using select choice words to petition the universe for desires and dreams. The difference is they petition the creation and not the Creator and people believe they only do it for bad outcomes. I hope your name is a DESTINY name or has some significant meaning where every time your name is called it echos into the universe with power, intention, and blessings. I hope you use WORDS with POWER in your everyday life.

 

How to Fashion Style a Recession

 

Attention fashion and style bloggers did you know this theory/fact?

My mind started to reach a foggy fact I had heard somewhere at some time about the economy having an effect on whether women wore the hemline of their skirts or dresses longer or shorter depending on the economic climate.

The news article, I was trying to remember, if memory serves me correctly, stated that dress length/economy correlation was first propounded by US economist George Taylor in the 1920s.


During the Great Depression, hemlines reached as far as the ankles

Taylor argued that women wore shorter skirts in boom times because they could afford expensive silk stockings and wanted to show them off. During a recession, however, the skirts grew longer, because the women couldn’t afford stockings and wanted to hide the fact that they weren’t wearing any.

The story said Taylor’s theory had been surprisingly accurate. In the 1920s, 1960s and 1980s, which were boom times in the US, hemlines rose. On the other hand, they reached down as far as the ankles during the Great Depression.

The stock market’s measure of consumer confidence has far-reaching implications. Fashions, such as women’s hem lines, tend to follow the market (high hem lines and high stock prices imply confidence in various areas of life). Movies such as the gangster movies of the 1930s, Godfather style movies of the 1960s, and Batman or Darkman in 1990, follow the stock market contractions of the same periods. Financial indicators such as home construction and buying, auto and major appliance purchases, vacations, etc. all follow the stock market cycles, and in fact stock market trends measure the confidence and psychological attitudes of peoples (including those who are not investors), and thus provides a convenient and concurrent mathematical measure of attitudes and a wide range of economic, political, and societal events.


So, with all of the economic turmoil going on in America these days, will we see longer dresses on an everyday basis? We have already poked fun at Target for its prairie looking dresses offered to their consumer. And with goods not reaching stores due to lack of workers to off load them at ports, the selection of clothes to purchase has dwindled in stores. I have noticed the change and rearrangement of store floorplans in an effort to camouflage the lack of selection of clothes. 

Add the addition of masks to style and fewer people working and socializing, has fashion taken a downward turn along with hemlines?

In 2008 this was the question on the mind of almost all fashion designers. What will women want to wear during our economic downturn? 

This is what fashion had to say about the rise and fall of hemlines, "The oldest adage about fashion and the economy is that hemlines rise and fall with the stock market. In the boom times of the 20s and the 60s, skirts were short; in the 30s and 40s, they fell. Except that, on closer inspection, even this most famous theory fails to hold water. During the wartime years, arguably the period of greatest privation in modern history, hemlines were shorter than before or after the war; in the recession of the early 90s, hemlines fell. We cannot rely on skirt length alone to track the economy through fashion."

After 9/11, upscale New York boutiques reported a surge in demand for lower-heeled shoes: on the shopfloor, they said, women were explaining they wanted shoes they could run in if necessary. The financial crisis has not had the same effect: "heel heights have been rising steadily for several years, and look set to continue their skyward trajectory next season."


Betty Jackson keeps it simple. Illustration: Betty Jackson, "a downbeat stock market is not necessarily reflected in downbeat clothes."

Indeed, according to fashion historian Valerie Steele, "this whole idea that fashion is a 'reflection' of the economy is a misnomer. It would be more accurate to say that fashion and art are as much a part of living history as the economy is." What happens on Wall Street, says Steele, "is mediated through the manners and mores of the time before influencing the fashion aesthetic. In the 60s, for instance, what impacted fashion was not so much a booming economy as "the anti-conventional youth movement" which flourished in a booming economy.

The hemlines theory was invented back in the 1920s. But it just doesn't hold up. Take the 20s - hemlines actually began to fall in 1927, two years before the crash. They were falling by 1969, two years before the downturn of 1971," says Steele. 

In many cases, fashion designers appear to have an ability to read the writing on the wall, without waiting for the newspaper headlines. Between 1936 and 1939 fashion began to pick up on the rumble of warmongering, with military-inspired square shoulders teamed with lower heels. Even nightgowns sported three-inch shoulder pads. At other times, we may misinterpret clothes in retrospect in the light of world events. Christian Dior is usually credited with grasping the mood of the moment with his joyous, full-skirted Corolle collection of 1947, which launched Dior's New Look - but in 1939, before the outbreak of war, the Paris collections of Chanel and Mainbocher were both modelled on a full skirt and a wasp waist. With the war came a dampener on fashion, and the trend did not catch on until Dior revisited it.

Rosemary Harden, curator of the Fashion Museum in Bath, agrees that the notion of a catwalk aesthetic which straightforwardly reflects the economy "feels quite glib. It's much more complex than that, and I think it's important to unpack it a bit. The 20s and 60s were a time not just of boom but of liberation. The short skirts of the 20s were driven as much by the rise of sportswear as by the stock market. The sense of liberation cut across the social spectrum - there are photos of my grandma in south-east London wearing short, knitted skirts. The 20s, like the 60s, was a time of opportunity, a time of people not feeling shackled. Opportunity led to newness and experimentation. It is connected to a buoyant economy, but the link is not as direct as people imagine."

Simon Doonan, creative director of Barneys department store in New York and author of the memoir Beautiful People, is rather blunter. The notion of fashion design reflecting the economic mood is "a total fallacy. Fashion people live in a creative hermetic bubble and are rarely so tuned in to the political or financial vicissitudes of the world. The idea that they might have a Dr Strangelove conclave where they confer about hemlines and the economy is hilarious." Nonetheless, he says, "there is one certainty about recession, which is that fashionistas will buy less - by which I mean one pair of Louboutins instead of three."

It seems we are in tune with Doonan, whose advice to customers "is always to dress up rather than down, in tough times. You owe it to your pals, family and colleagues to present yourself in an optimistic and fabulous way. Remember what Quentin Crisp said? 'When war broke out, I bought five pounds of henna.' "

So, there you have it. Women will do what they want to do when it comes to fashion. Whether the hemlines grow longer or get shorter; the point will always be - to look fabulous.

Mentally Speaking: President Kanye West

The Greatest Act of Love

MY FRIEND

I stand in Judgement now,

And feel that you are to blame somehow.

On earth I walked with you day by day,

And never did YOU point the way.

YOU knew the Lord in truth and glory,

But never did you tell ME the story.

My knowledge then was very SLIM,

YOU could have led me safe to Him.

Though we lived together on earth,

YOU never told me of the SECOND birth.

And now I stand this day condemned,

Because YOU failed to mention HIM.

YOU taught me many things, that's true,

I called YOU "friend" and trusted you.

But learn now that it's too late,

YOU could have kept me from this fate.

We walked by day and talked by night,

And yet YOU showed me not the Light.

YOU let me live, and love, and die,

YOU knew I'd never live on high.

Yes, I called you a "friend" in life,

And trusted YOU through joy and strife.

And yet on coming to the end,

I cannot, NOW, call YOU, "My Friend."

    We use the word LOVE in various types of relationships. We love people, pets, even material items. We say we love people we have known for years and now with social media, we love people we have never met in person before. We can fall in love quickly and often. There are people who are love with being in love. 

    Do we really know the definition of love and its different forms? There are complaints daily of feelings of not receiving the love we believe we deserve from our parents, friends, or our love interest. Today I want to flip it and ask, "What kind of lover are you?" Let's begin at the beginning and define love and the different types of love as God defines it. READY?

    LOVE= unselfish, benevolent, concern for others (1Corinthians 13:4-7 charity). To love God supremely and others unselfishly are the 2 most important commands of Jesus (Matthew 22:37-40). Christ's death was the supreme expression of love (John 13:1 and 15:13).

    AGAPE= A Greek word for selfless love, the type of love which characterizes God. If we are made in his own image, we should have his characteristics. Agape is primarily an ACT OF THE WILL rather than the EMOTIONS (John 3:16 and Romans 5:8). Agape love is the greatest and most enduring of ALL CHRISTIAN VIRTUES (1 Corinthians 13). Agape love for others is a badge of discipleship (John 13:34-35).

    Notice God says there are outward signs of His people. Is a badge an outward sign? Does it speak to the world? Are we not His disciples, His children? Police wear badges. They have to show their badge so you will know they are who they say they are. They are given the authority to use their job description. Are you flashing your badge of authority, your job description of love?

    Now that we have the definition of love, we now have the knowledge of love. What we are lacking at this point is the WISDOM of love. Wisdom is when you take the KNOWLEDGE you have and use it. So now we come to the question: "What kind of lover are you?" We should love God, ourselves, and others. there is no command to leave anyone out. FORGIVENESS helps us to accomplish this.

    1. ARE YOU A STINGY LOVER? Do you designate how much you are willing to love someone? How long you are willing to love someone? Do you give yourself wholly to the love experience or are you half into it making the person work for your love? Do you pick who is or is not worthy of your love?

    2. ARE YOU A PRIDEFUL LOVER? Do you pat yourself on your own back, praising yourself for how wonderful you are at showing love to others? Do you bother to check and see with the recipient of your love if they are being loved in the way they need to be loved? Your definition of love can be totally different from someone else.

    3. ARE YOU AN ABUSIVE LOVER? Are you loving someone grudgingly? Are you giving love only when someone else is looking? Do you with-hold love to get people to behave the way you want them to? Do you neglect yourself or people closest to you, but have an abundance of love for a stranger? Do you hold grudges? Does someone have to ask or beg you for your love?

    4. ARE YOU A WISHY-WASHY LOVER? Are people afraid to approach you because they don't know what they may run into day by day or hour by hour? Are some days easier for you to show love and other days difficult? God wants consistency, not double mindedness

WE SAY WE HAVE THE LOVE OF GOD IN US BUT.....

    We have children we don't minister to or make disciples of Christ equipping them to lead others by sharing the gospel. We do not lay hands on them and pray for them. We leave prayer for our children to the school and then become angry when the institution fails to pray. We try to give our children everything their hearts desire except the gift of eternal life with God.

    We love our sisters, brother, parents, and yet we don't invite them to church with us or live Godly examples of joy and peace so that they can see God through us. We tell them what we don't and can't do because we are Christians, not exampling Jesus among those who needed him most.

    We love ourselves, yet do not do what is in our own best interest: pray, love, spread the gospel, have faith through deeds, read the word of God, study the word of God because it is life and light, and be obedient to His will.

We say we love God. to love God is to be obedient and to be holy as He is holy.

    We need to pray and ask God to bring us to this level of agape love. It may not happen overnight, but a willing heart accomplishes much through the grace of God. roman 13:8 "Owe no man anything, but to love one another; for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the Law."

WHAT KIND OF LOVER ARE YOU?