Childless Cat Lady (Taylor Swift)

Have you read the post READ around the world by TAYLOR SWIFT?

Directly after the 2024 Presidential Debate, Taylor Swift endorsed democratic presidential candidate, Kamala Harris. Her reason for endorsing Harris she said was due to a number of reasons, but we all know it is directly related to how horribly Donald Trump and JD Vance demean women, brown people, LGBT community, immigrants, well, EVERYONE.

Her picture accompanying her post was of her with a cat referencing JD Vance saying CHILDLESS CAT WOMEN do not have a stake in what happens to the country. Effectively saying, women without children vote does not mean anything. I believe Taylor Swift and other women who are SINGLE and CHILDLESS will prove him WRONG.

In the debate, Kamala Harris said America is tired of the OLD PLAYBOOK and it's time to turn the page. WE WON'T GO BACK! Saying women of a certain age who are not married and who do not have children IS a part of an old playbook instituted and perpetuated by MEN. 

If diamonds are a girl's best friend, then what is her enemy? If you answered time or her age, you would be correct if it was your answer before the 20th century.

If people could live forever in good health at a particular age, it would be 50, according to a 2013 Harris Poll. Gender and geography play a role in the age a person decides is the ideal age to remain for a lifetime. In the poll, men said the perfect age is 47, and women 53. In the Midwest, the perfect age is 50. In the East, it’s 53 and the West it’s 47. Notice, the perfect age is not under 30 like most would believe.

Aging is a natural and inevitable process that encompasses the gradual changes which occur in an individual's body and mind over time. For women, aging was not seen as attractive for them as it was and remains for men.  But do you know at what age a person looks the best? According to a study published in the Journal of Royal Society open access, people look their best in their 30's. There have been countless movies made, in the past, where a woman can be seen crying on her thirtieth birthday.

Today in the U.S., the median first age at marriage for women is 28. For men, it’s 30. From the 18th century up until the mid-20th century, the average age at first marriage dropped to a low of age 20 for women and age 22 for men. Then it began to rise again.

This an important piece of information because at one time, a woman, by her age alone, would be viewed as favorably as outdated milk if she was not married by a certain age. Like milk which has been in the refrigerator past its "use by date," society was reluctant to take a smell to check if it was still usable. A woman past a certain age was tossed out (by society), like the milk, not fit for consumption or use.

Before the 17th century, women who weren’t married were called maids, virgins or “puella,” the Latin word for “girl.” These words emphasized youth and chastity, and they presumed that women would only be single for a small portion of their life – a period of “pre-marriage.” But by the 17th century, new terms, such as “spinster” and “single woman,” emerged. If you were not married by a certain age, your youth was gone, and your virginal sensuality went out the door with it. Some would go as far to say it was the essence of femininity lost.

Spinning, making wool, was commonly done by unmarried women; hence the word came to denote an unmarried woman in legal documents from the 1600s to the early 1900s. By 1719, the word spinster was being used generically for woman still unmarried and beyond the usual age for it. As a denotation for unmarried women in a legal context, the term dates back to at least 1699, and was commonly used in banns of marriage of the Church of England where the prospective bride was described as a "spinster of this parish".

Age is a crucial part of the definition, according to Robin Lakoff's explanation in Language and Woman's Place: "If someone is a spinster, by implication she is not eligible [to marry]; she has had her chance and been passed by. Hence, a girl of twenty cannot be properly called a spinster: she still has a chance to be married". Yet other sources on terms describing a never-married woman indicate that the term applies to a woman as soon as she is of legal age or age of majority.

Fast forward to our present time, and women are met yet again with the idea if she is past a certain age and unmarried, then there must be a reason why men passed her by, and she is no longer a good marital prospect.

According to men who are listening to relationship advice about women in the Manosphere and Red Pill Community, woman's market value is at her highest between the ages of 16 and 25 (possibly up to 30 if she really takes care of herself and is lucky). During this age range, women are at their most attractive to men. They can rely on their looks and sexiness to attract guys (and often, manipulate men for their own gain.  

According to this group of men in this community, as a woman reaches 30 and beyond, her market value decreases, and she becomes less attractive to men. Once she reaches menopause, she's finished, and no man wants her anymore. 

Contrast this with how men age and what aging means to a man's market value. A young boy in his late teens or 20's is not yet his most attractive to women. He is still seen as a boy and not yet a man. As a man gets towards 30, his market value rapidly increases. He starts to look more manly in his appearance, and he starts to act more manly in his personality because he is maturing. Often, he has more career and financial success too. All these traits increase his market value and therefore his attractiveness towards women.

There is a time in a woman's life, also according to the manosphere, where she is considered, "Used Up.' This is when a girl can no longer pair-bond properly due to repeated failed relationships. This seems to reflect the condition of her 'heart' and has nothing to do with biology. But suggests, the innocent, youthful, even virginal quality of a young woman no longer exists due to experiences gained through relationships. This would make one assume, no one wants a jaded marital partner, so pass her by. Her time has expired.

Biologically, many argue that women are in their reproductive prime age for women in their 20's to early 30's. This phase is often referred to as the "prime years." After surveying over 16,000 individuals across eight different countries who were all asked at what ages they think men and women are most beautiful, the data found the overall average age where women are found to be most attractive is 28. Women tend to experience accelerated aging around the ages of 30 and 50, according to a study that analyzed a wide range of molecular and physical markers. Science indicates there is a biological change in a woman's life, but not to the extent of warranting being labeled as "Used Up."

Podcaster Pearl Davis's (@JustPearlyThings) videos, is a strong supporter of the idea that a woman can only be high value until her late 30's. She has often voiced outrage against the body positivity movement because to her, weight has a lot to do with whether or not a woman is capable of being a worthy partner to a man. According to Davis, a high-value woman only ever wants a family and children, and if a woman doesn't want that, she's not worth much.  Female sexuality is another sore spot for many such high-value content creators. Jebediah Bila (@JebediahBilaLIVE), with a massive following of 125,000 subscribers, regularly speaks up about it. In her eyes, a woman's value is surely influenced by how active she is sexually and ruins her prospects at landing a good partner. Chances are the older the unmarried woman is, the higher the probability she has had numerous sex partners. Their goes the loss of that virginal quality again. You now must be labeled a spinster.

Women who were once called spinsters eventually started being called old maids. The term "old maid" is old-fashioned and derogatory, and it's not considered polite to use to describe a woman who is unmarried. However, in the past, a woman over the age of 25 who was unmarried was considered an old maid. In the 17th century, New Englanders also used the term "thornback" to describe single women over 25. In the late 1690s, the term old maid became common. The expression emphasizes the paradox of being old and yet still virginal and unmarried.

These unmarried women, who had to be labeled for society to know how to view and treat them had not only lost their youthful value, innocence, and desired virginal quality, they were viewed as unhappy also. It was unconceivable that an unmarried woman could be happy. The labels given, spinster and old maid, indicated the only thing she was able to do was spin yarn, cook, and/or clean. Her life compared to that of a married woman of that time who also spun yarn, cooked, and/or cleaned was that the married woman did it for husband and children while she was alone.

A 2014 Brookings Institute study on happiness and age found that people are least happy in their 20's, 30's, and early 40's, and steadily gain an appreciation for life as they age. Indeed, most women become increasingly happy after age 55, with their peak of happiness toward the very end of life! Aging is commonly measured by chronological age. As a convention, a person over age 65 is often referred to as elderly. Typically, muscle mass and strength increase steadily from birth and reach their peak at around 30 to 35 years of age. After that, muscle power and performance decline slowly and linearly at first, and then faster after age 65 for women and 70 for men.

The expiration dates on women were effectively taken of during the 20th century only to see a resurgence in this century. The value of a woman married or unmarried still revolves around how desired she is by men. If this is the standard to judge a woman's value or worth to a society, her marital suitability, then a majority of women are spinsters, old maids, and low-value women.

Since we live in a world guided by science, women do not have to embrace these labels. Men do not have such labels. Correction, I do believe there is a low value man, but the term is not part of the mainstream. With such an emphasis placed on female youthfulness, innocence, and virginity, it would seem our society would be ripe with pedophiles. The prevalence of pedophilic disorder is unknown, as the social stigma around it does not invite people to self-identify. Estimates of its prevalence range from one to five percent of the male. population. 

Thankfully, through showing and not just saying, women have shown they don't have to be thrown out by any obscure expiration date. Women choose at what age they want to marry if they marry at all. Lately, thanks to vice presidential nominee JD Vance, it's okay to be the unmarried cat lady. 

If you read my blog, you will notice I look at the way history has defined women and womanhood. History has not been kind to the ladies and for sure not to the single lady. I believe the greatest part about being a woman is how we define ourselves. We are always writing that history. Taylor Swift decided to let her voice and vote be known. We are at a time in history where women are deciding how they want to be defined in the future. The overwhelming sentiment, in unison by women is, WE WON'T GO BACK!

Will Men Vote for a Woman President?

After the Presidential Debate, Fox News has been dropping the notion, "Men will probably not vote for Kamala Harris." This is planting the SEED; men don't want to be BOSSED by a woman. Even though there is a difference between bossing and leading.

Donald Trump and JD Vance have been giving interviews for podcasts in the Manosphere. The Manosphere is made up of men from communities such as the Red Pill Community, Incels, and MGTOW, who have a bone to pick with women for ruining America and the world at large. This is the beginning of the "Men should be the head," defense. Even women are saying a woman should not be "over" men as a president..

According to Gallup and Resume Lab, only 28% of men would prefer to work for a female manager, and only 53% feel positive about having women leaders in their organization. The men tend to not like female bosses. 28% of them would prefer to work for a female manager. Only 53% feel rather or very positive about having women leaders in their organization. And a mere 17% would trust a woman more than a man to lead a company. It's not a Kamala Harris problem, it's being a WOMAN problem.

Americans revere presidents as role models, fixating on their status – real or perceived – as founding fathers, real fathers, war heroes, and Master of Diplomacy and making money and cheating on their wives without getting caught (or, at least, without getting divorced). Because presidents epitomize American notions of manhood, elections reveal what kind of man, what type and degree of masculinity, is most respected and deserving of power. ‘Be a man and vote for a woman’: Kamala Harris’s unlikely edge in America’s masculinity election | US elections 2024 | The Guardian. Can a MAN see a WOMAN as a HERO? Is MASCULINITY on the ballot for male voters?

Republicans are associated with more masculine issues and traits, Democrats with feminine ones. National defense and the economy are seen as topics that men care about, because men are expected to prize being providers for and protectors of their families. Healthcare – including abortion rights – and education are seen as women’s issues, because women are supposed to be compassionate caregivers. Even religion is brought into the equation of whether to vote for a woman as president. Can men accept a WOMAN in CHARGE of an entire NATION? Trump is gaining traction with young men because they feel voiceless in this country. They fear with a woman in charge they feel their concerns will be IGNORED. I have addressed the cry of this generation's (males) grievances in another post. 

How many reasons have you heard Kamala Harris should not be president? Has one of the reasons given been due to the Christian religious belief that a woman should not rule over men? If you haven't heard this reason yet, just wait, it's bound to RISE up in your circle of political commentary. Let's put this erroneous belief to rest shall we. 

When it comes to men struggling with antiquated masculinity issues when it comes to voting for a woman as president because of gender, I hope they have at least one woman they know who they view as a woman capable of great things. Maybe a sister or daughter who they would cheer for to reach their full potential. But those male voters do not think beyond THEMSELVES. For those MEN and WOMEN using Christian Scripture as the foundation for NOT voting for a woman to lead a nation, I have a WORD for you.

Christianity has taught for centuries that WOMEN are to be in a submissive position to men and not have a 'role' within the church. The church teaches church leaders should be men. But what happens when the established roles of women within the church, whether correct or not, are applied outside of Christianity and outside of the church? The answer is you get CONFUSION.

The first instance of a woman being considered in a 'lower' role than a man is in Genesis, the first book of the Christian Bible, when we are introduced to Adam. Adam was alone in the Garden of Eden and God saw he was lonely when he was not around. God had created the animals and birds, male and female but Adam did not have a companion so God created him a companion, a wife, and said she would be a helper suitable to him, Genesis 2:20-25.

The KEY point about the wife being a helper here is there was NOTHING to help with. The Garden of Eden was self-sufficient. There was no WORK or toil to do. Work would come into being well after Adam and Eve were created. The REASON a wife was created was for companionship/relationship. This is the 'help' offered by the first wife. Later in Genesis 3:16, as punishment for her disobedience of God, Eve's DESIRES would be for her husband, and he would RULE OVER HER. Her punishment was that her husband, not all men, would rule over her. This is a husband-and-wife thing which cannot be broadly applied to the world of interactions between unmarried men and women as many Christians believe.

Again, we read about the husband-and-wife relationship in the New Testament, Ephesians 5:22-33 says, "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything". Now, me as a woman, do not have to submit to any other woman's husband. It is HER job, according to Scripture, to submit to HER husband. A man does not go to his place of employment as a husband. He is just an employee. Men are just citizens in the United States. WHERE they are husbands is where they have authority. The passages cannot be any clearer.

We do not have to wonder how God felt about women as leaders because we have a clear example in the Bible in the book of Judges. In the Old Testament, judges were military leaders of the tribes of Israel before the monarchy. They were raised by God to govern the tribes and lead them into battle against enemies. Two famous judges were Samson and Gideon. Of the twelve judges chosen by God, there was ONE woman, Deborah. Deborah was a married woman who led Israel. She held court under the Palm of Deborah between Ramah and Bethel in the hill country of Ephraim, and the Israelites CAME to her to have their disputes decided, Judges 4:4-5. She defeated Sisera, the commander of the Canaanite Army. She was the commander over 10,000 men. It was a woman, Jael, who actually KILLED Sisera, the Canaanite commander.

What about women having a leadership role within the church leading men. Here we have the example of Phoebe in the book of Romans. Romans 16:1-2, "I commend to you our sister Phoebe, a servant of the church in Cenchrea. I ask you to receive her in the Lord in a way WORTHY of the saints and to GIVE her any help she may need from you, for she has been a great help to many people, including me." Because her name is listed first by Paul, even before other men, scholars agree she held a position of importance. Paul goes on to tell the church to greet twenty-six other people, but he only instructs them to give Phoebe whatever she asks.

When the words of the above passage are reviewed in its original language, the word 'servant' is defined as ministry sixteen times so scholars accept the word as meaning teacher. Next, we have a woman, Priscilla whose name is listed BEFORE her husband's which scholars also believe is significant, since women were understood to be submissive to their husbands within their Christian teaching. Paul said the husband and wife had risked their lives for him and the Gentile churches. Here we see the author of many books of the New Testament exalting women and the work they have done for the church.

Throughout the Bible, women are hand selected in the same manner as men to carry out the will of God. Different people have been used in different capacities as God sees fit. We are all his creation. We all have different talents. Many Bible teachers and preachers prefer to say women are easily deceived and are the weaker sex, according to Scripture. Well, I have an entire post dedicated to that vein of teaching that I will not address here.

My point is, there is nothing biblical that indicates a woman cannot be president of the United States. Even without scriptural backing, many believe it will be against God's will for Kamala Harris to be president. I ask Christian's to think about the NATURE of God as evidenced by his Word in the Bible. How many times is it written and said, "I have chosen." God chooses to do what he does, and it does not always line up with what we believe should be. His ways are not our ways. 1 Corinthians 1:27, "But God has selected [for His purpose] the foolish things of the world to shame the wise [revealing their ignorance], and God has selected [for His purpose] the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong [revealing their frailty]."

One last point I would like to make. No matter who is the leader of our country, as Christians we are to carry ourselves as such. The person leading us may have been allowed to be in that position to show OUR CHRACTER. Christians are not yanked around by worldly concerns. We are to remain steadfast in our Christian walk and service to God. And we learn through Scripture, as far as God is concerned, to never say NEVER.

Manhood and War

There has been one distinct place where men could show they were men. A honored place where masculinity could be demonstrated to its fullest. It was a sacred place that could bestow status and admiration. Society loved this type of manly man and counted on their courageousness. The manhood of these men were never questioned. Where was this place to demonstrate manhood? The military. Who were the men countrymen looked up to? Soldiers.

For centuries men used their strong bodies and courage to protect their country. Citizens, without prompting, admired military men. Their uniforms were decorated with medals of honor for valour and proclaimed their rank amonst other men. Put a man in a uniform, and it changes him and the people who see him in the uniform.

But there was always a price to pay. War changed the soldiers and war changed societies. Men who went off to war, willing to sacrifice their life, never guessed there were many losers even if they were victorious.

World War 2 began September 1, 1939 -September 2, 1945, it was the most violent military conflict in human history. There were 38 million military and civilian deaths. The United States entered the war in 1941. The U.S lost 407, 317 men in the war. 62, 614 Navy. 21, 511 Marine. 318, 274 Army and Air Force. 1,917 Coast Gaurd.

While the men were off at war on foreign soil, women had to enter the work force to keep America functioning economically. Before World War 2, men were the breadwinner and women were wives and mothers. Of course there were women who held jobs, but that was not the status quo. Women had no other option than to work to support themselves and family during this war. The positions women held were facory workers making parts for military equipment. Drivers of trains, fire engines, and trucks moving necessary supplies in the states. Nurses and ENGINEERS. America had to function in all capacities while men were at war. During this time, women were not entering the military fighting for their country.

Society changed not due to women wanting to work. The norm was for a man to be the provider and protector of women and children. With 407,316 deaths of men, many wives were left without a returning husband. Children were left without a returning father. And the availability of men for women to marry had been limited by so many deaths of marriage aged men. After the men who survived the war returned, most women were still unable to return to their housewife role because many men returned disabled. Women had to continue to provide for themselves and their children. Young women faced not being able to find a man to marry. The nuclear family took a hit with World War 2. The landscape of who held jobs changed. 

The Vietnam War began November 1, 1955 - April 30, 1975 (a 20 year war!) The United States entered the Vietnam War March 8, 1965 (10 years). There were 58,220 male deaths. 38,179 Army, 14,836 marines, 2556 Navy, and 2,580 Airforce. The total of men America lost was significatly lower in this war than in World War 2. But, this war was tragic on a different level. 

There were 75,000 severly disabled men who returned from this war. 23,214 were 100% disabled. 5,283 lost limbs and 1,081 had multiple amputations. This war, women wanted to show their patriotism and serve their country in war. There were 8 service women who died during this war by accidents or illness but not from battle. Women served in the military as nurses, air traffic controllers, intelligence officers, communication specialists, physicians, secretaries, and clerks. Notice the skill level and trianing that women were now serving their country.

Before World War 2, women did not involve themselves in politics. That was a man's domain and they were happy to leave it as such. Women were thought of as frail, delicate, and not capable of intellect and should not vote because their minds could not handle the complexities of analytical or intellectual thought. Women did not challenge this train of thought for centuries. After competently holding positions allocated for men, they became aware of their capabilities. Of course there were women who longed for the days when she did not have to work, but there were many who enjoyed their ability to take care of themselves financially and to be able to work outside of the home.

By the time the Vietnam War occurred, women were competent in many job areas. Marriage and children were no longer the only option for women. They had learned they were able to learn and advance in society with or without a husband. They felt patriotic just like their male counterpart and entered the military in large numbers demonstrating their capabilities in the positions held in the military and at home while men were once again off fighting on foreign soil.

The Vietnam War was the first war where the soldier did not return home, if he survived, to a hero's welcome. This war had opposition from students, government officials, labor unions, church groups, middle class families, and the famous Dr. Martin Luther King who said Black people were fighting for another country's freedoms while not be able to have those same freedoms in America.

Mothers, wives, sisters, and girlfriends, no longer wanted to stand at train stations or piers dutifully waving their loved ones off to war knowing they may never return. Women began to call for "NO MORE WAR." 61% of the men who died were younger than 21. The average age of the soldier who died in this war was 23 years old. 17,539 of the men who went off to war were married. Once again, the nuclear family took a large hit and the marriage pool also declined again. If the fathers, sons, boyfriends returned, they could have returned disabled, unable to work. Soldiers also returned addicted to heoin given to get them back on the battlefield after injury or while recuperating in the hospital. 104,578 men returned with disabilities.

For the first time, soldiers returned to citizens who viewed them as murderes, war mongerers, stupid for even fighting in the war, addicts, and their muscular body once admired and revered was now disfigured and considered unsightly and weak. It was no longer a source of pride to be seen in military uniform. The uniform had become a source of ridicule, shame, and disdain. Bitterness all around filled the post Vietnam War atmosphere in America.

Once again, women filled vacant positions in the job force and sought out education and training to advance and enter job position which men normally held. Once again they proved their competence as a provider and now patriot.

The Afghanistan War began October 2001 - August 2011. The totals vary, but I decided to use the highest total of 7,078 deaths of servicemen/women. Once again this seems like a low total compared to the other wars. The advancement of technology made hand to hand combat outdated, equaling fewer deaths. But, there is always a price to pay for war.

Since the beginning of this war in 2001, over 1.9 million people deployed at various times. 1.9-3 million servicemen/women served post 9/11 in various positions in and out of country. 89% were men and 11% were women. But there were 30,177 suicides of service members and vets post 9/11 war. 40% of the soldiers who served have PTSD with Marines having the highest rate. 40% also have some form of disability. The major areas of disability are mental health issues, orthopedic injuries, heart disease, amputations, and Gulf War Syndrome (fatigue, fibromyalgia, and gastrointestinal disorders).

If history repeats itself, then the collateral affects of war are the same as with the previous wars. The nuclear family disrupted, marriage availability decline, inability of the soldier to return to work, soldier not revered any longer, and women continuing to excert their independence in the work arena. 

I served in the First Gulf War and returned to streets lined with people thanking us for our service. Also, to this day, corporations can be heard thanking their customers who served their country. Lowe's and Home Depot give militay discounts for those who served (notice they are building supply companies. Women's clothing stores do not give women vets discounts). Now it is okay if citizens praise or disdain people who serve their country. The soldier is no longer the representation of manhood. Many blame the entrance of woman into the male dominated field for emasculating the military. But war takes away men, the provider and protector of family. You can't have men dying and disabled from war without there being consequences.

From 1973-2010 the number of women in uniform went from 42,000 to 167,000. With women able to and wanting to serve their country, the military had to change. Once women entered into the public arena, they wanted the same pay a man would receive for the same work and they wanted to work knowing they would not be bullied or harrassed for working outside the home. So, Women's Rights were an outcome of war.

Feminism, for many is a dirty word. Feminism is a range of socio-political movements and ideologies that aim to define and establish the political, economic, personal, and social equality of the sexes. Feminism holds the position that societies prioritize the male point of view and that women are treated unjustly in these societies. It's aim is not to get rid of men or make them lesser. But with everything, there are radicals.

The 1st wave of Feminism was in 1848 when women wanted the right to vote. The 2nd wave of Feminism was 1960-1970's when women wanted equality and freedom from discrimination. The 3rd wave of Feminism was in the 1990's which many say was ushered in by Anita Hill during the televised case where she accused Judge Clarence Thomas of sexual harassment. This wave of Feminism is traced to Generation Z wanting diversity and individualism. The 4th wave of Feminism began around 2010 and it centered around empowerment of the LGBTQ+ Rights. There is a questioning whether we have entered into a 5th wave of Feminism as of 2014 which is Political Activism. This wave fights against sexual abuse and misogyny which is blatantly visable on the internet. Women are using their power at the ballot box in concentrated efforts.

In th last ten years, it seems women are being blamed for the many changes American society is undergoing. I write a great deal about this topic and in my humble opinion, women are not the root cause of these changes, especially the changes men are feeling in regards to manhood. Women have entered domains once solely for men and are no longer finding marriage the only answer to their survival. Those are BIG changes. But many of the changes were WAR driven with women having very little say in the matter until they DEMANDED to have a say in the matter.

Manhood was once largely DEMONSTRATED by the soldier who bravely protected family and country until that was no longer a THING to do to show manhood. But manhood is not determined by a job position, such as soldier, anymore and hasn't been for DECADES. If all of the women left the military it would not revert back to a place and time of reverence for manhood again because people know the COST of war. If we were to go back to hand to hand combat then masculinty would reign supreme again. But no one wants the blood-bath of hand to hand combat. Americans now want avoidance of war at all costs and the DIPLOMATIC mind and INTELLECTUAL skills to accomplish it is what is now held in high regard. Providing and protecting the safety of the country is wanted BEFORE war is even on the table. Education, not physical fitness, negotiation not battles, and communication, not combat became desired. The loss and maiming of life has become too costly for citizens. 

People believe women changed the military by entering the military. Men feel as though they lost something or something was taken away from them after women were allowed to join the military. Wives, children, and single women have always lost when men went off to war. For many men who served in the military during wars, they returned feeling less of a man after having life-altering injuries.

Manhood and war no longer go hand in hand, and does anyone really want it to be what DEFINES a man?

INTERVIEW: Natalie Ritchie, author

 WELCOME TO WEDNESDAY WITH WOMEN

Author Natalie Ritchie shares what drives her as a writer, and it is advocating for women no matter what role they choose in life. She is a strong voice reminding women as well as men women who choose to work at home as a homemaker are not inferior to women who choose a career outside of the home. Ritchie has to juggle many roles at once and writing is just one of those roles. Her work reflects the ongoing quest to define womanhood in the 21st Century by today's woman. Her interview does not shy away from the question, "What is womanhood?"

1     What is the name of your book/genre?

My book is a nonfiction work called Roar Like a Woman: How Feminists Think Women Suck and Men Rock. It calls for a feminism that actually includes the woman. The feminist revolution threw the baby out with the bathwater—it threw out the woman with the bathwater of woman’s oppression.

2.      When did you start your writing career?

I went straight into journalism almost from the get-go and after a long stint in public relations in the tourism industry, I moved into travel writing. I co-authored the Frommer’s Australia travel guide for several years. Later, I became features editor of Australia’s biggest parenting magazine. Today, I work full-time as a general-purpose editor. 

3.      Did you have support from family/friends/community?

Not really. But that’s because I like it that way. Mostly, I write alone. I know what I want to say. Even nonfiction writing, which is what I do, is an intensely personal and creative thing. To be honest, I just want to be left alone when I write. That said, my colleagues, most of whom are also writers of one kind or another, do have a lot of really good advice. I think the trick is to balance when to listen to others and when to stay true to your inner voice.

4.      What is most difficult about an author’s life?

Finding time to write is one of the hardest things writers do, especially mothers! And then when they do make the time, they sacrifice their rest, their hobbies, their home chores, time with their families or friends, time spent helping others, time to exercise—and time to read! Most writers love reading. I know a mother of five who got up every morning at 5 a.m. to have an hour to herself to write. Of course, for many of us, the kids are up at 5 a.m. too, so that’s not the answer for everyone!

I started writing my book in 2012 and finished it in 2018. I was working full-time most of that time and fifty percent co-parenting my two sons. It takes discipline to dedicate yourself to writing every moment you can. And then there is the work of self-publishing: proofing, hiring a cover designer and typesetter and website designer, formatting e-book files, distributing, publicizing, doing interviews, and more. What kept me going was the sure-fire knowledge that women matter.

5.      As a woman do you feel an obligation to write on women’s issues (in some form)?

Absolutely. Women need a voice, a voice that feminism far too often silences, when it should be our champion! Ever since I entered the workforce in the eighties, I have been frustrated at feminism’s refusal to acknowledge women’s role as mothers, as home runners, as the ones caring for elderly relatives or family members with a disability, as driving forces in the wider community, and as a powerhouse of change in their own right—and that’s all before we get to a career! To feminism, you would think a woman had nothing to do but join men at the office. It pours praise on a woman when she does the same paid work men do but ignores, denies, and often derides a woman without a man-identical career.

Here’s the thing—a woman is a fully human being in her own right. Without a career. Yet feminism sends a different message—that a woman is an inferior, passive nobody who only becomes a somebody, and her husband’s equal, when she joins him at the office.

6.      Do you create stereotypical female characters i.e., weak, need to be saved?

While there are no characters in my nonfiction book, it does contain the voices of many real women speaking on the miraculous joys and the grueling lows of motherhood and home-running and what it actually means to be a woman (rather than what our very masculinist version of feminism tells us it means). These are women with rich, exhilarating lives outside the workplace who defy the feminist stereotype of woman as weak and in need of rescue. Women are not weak. They are extraordinarily strong.

7.      Do you try to be politically correct or stay away from politics/controversial current events as plots?

Because I stand up for women as dynamic, valiant beings in their own right, with or without an achievement-packed resume, I am one of the most politically incorrect writers around! To say that a woman is an autonomous, authoritative, intelligent person without a career is not just controversial today—it’s heresy.

8.      What makes a woman a success?

One thing only self-respect. A successful woman sees the world through a woman’s eyes, and respects herself for it. Never mind whether she has a job, or financial riches. A woman is not a “failure” who becomes a “success” through joining men at the office or amassing wealth or accomplishments. Women are so much more than their job, and no woman should need to have a job to be considered a “success.” A woman already works every day of her life. A woman is a resonant, in-command, active, capable person, a force for good in the world, a locus of love and intelligence, all on her own. If she works, it is because she loves working or needs the income. She has her own perceptions and priorities that are not always the same as men’s. She stands up for her right to do all the things men do, but she also stands up for her right to recognition and respect for all that she does as a woman. 

Natalie Ritchie is mom to two teenage boys, a former parenting magazine features editor, and author of Roar Like a Woman: How Feminists Think Women Suck and Men Rock. She lives in Sydney, Australia.

Link: Roar Like a Woman | Natalie Ritchie

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Comments and questions welcomed

What Makes Me Angry and Sin-g?

The Sound of Music has a famous song "These are a few of my favorite things" and it is such a cheery song filled with cute little things. I bet you're humming it right now. How sweet.

In the movie a family's newfound happiness is interrupted by Hitler and his need for dominance through war. 

Country music is often the brunt of jokes because the man is always left by his woman or dog. People are waiting for the country song where the self-driving car leaves the poor old cowboy. On the other hand, any and everything can happen to you in Blues songs without anyone making fun of you. Elton John said, I Guess That's Why They Call Them the Blues and we all nod with understanding.

If I was able to make a list of things that upset me, it would be something like this and I don't think there is a song for them yet, or maybe...:

 1. Fake News: There is no spin because it is all mean, divisive, brainwashing, calculated fabrication and twisting of words and deeds. But do I watch it regularly? You bet. It is like a car wreck; I just can't believe the destruction and injury right in front of me. You stare in awe and shock unable to process the carnage. It is shocking and sad at the same time. SONG: Tell Me lies tell me sweet little lies by Fleetwood Mac

I watch because I also want to know what dangerous people are thinking and talking about. When the media can rouse people to do violent things that is mind control and manipulation for a bad motive. What happened to people being decent just because? Fake News has a right to exist, and I have the right to disagree with their opinions on current events. Even stating you dislike their cable broadcasts opens a person up for brutal attacks by its faithful viewers. Fake News is a money-making machine and there is no water too deep for them to wade into for a dollar. SONG: For the Love of Money by The O'Jays

 2. RACISM: I believe racism should have been classified as a mental illness by now. It is a state of living that hurts/hinders happy living for the sufferer and those around them. The racist does not believe their life is affected by racist ideology and that's how mental illness works. The sufferer cannot realize the affects the illness is having on their own lives. Violent crimes including murder has been executed by people with an aversion or out and out hate for a person because of the color of their skin. Once the violence is executed upon the person of color it is called a hate crime, but mental health intervention should have occurred beforehand. Family knew racism was skewing their family member's thoughts to the point of potential violence, but believed it was "normal" hate with no possible consequences. Racists normalize hate. Isn't that ABNORMAL? SONG: Black or White by Michael Jackson

 3. SEXISM: As a Christian woman, it has become apparent that any defense that I present in regard to women and religion is called Feminist Theology. Labeling a woman as a feminist if she declares a right to an occupation, she is qualified for deemed/claimed solely for men by men and want equal pay for said occupation is supposed to be an insult. There is no such word for men when they choose an occupation, they believe they are qualified to have. Women do not have a woman ONLY occupation. SONG: I'm A Woman by Peggy Lee

Take some of this: I am a perfectly formed woman that God (not Satan) gave a functioning brain that enjoys the Bible, Salvation, etc., and I am not afraid to open my mouth and witness, preach, teach, counsel, anyone in need. That is that and I don't care how you label it. To be a Christian requires ACTION and oh, boy am I active!!!! SONG: Eye of the Tiger by Survivor

 4. MENTAL HEALTH: We continue to live in an era where the majority of those incarcerated in prison have mental health issues that we have not yet learned how to address. We have a growing homeless population also suffering from mental health issues and we can't decide what to do with them either. I understand mental illness is a difficult illness to manage and can be costly. There is not a quick fix, but the stance of ignoring it does not work. If there can be education and intervention early in growth and development of people maybe there can be better outcomes. SONG: Everybody Hurts by REM

We do physical exams on children monitoring their growth and development. Maybe there should be mental health physicals yearly as well for children or at doctor appointments for those with a family history of mental health issues and readily available resources to intervene with little or no cost. SONG: The Greatest Love of All by Whitney Houston

We ARE doing better at taking the stigma out of having mental health issues, but the statistics prove there are many suffering mentally and are more than likely falling through the gap. SONG: One by Three Dog Night

5. MY OLD SELF: I have spent a lot of years somehow focused on doing what was right and expected of me and not doing a thing that I wanted to do. Move over world. I am going for the absolutely crazy things that I want to do and you don't have to like it, agree with it, or approve it. Get all of the labels out and dust them off. I am on a mission to be ME and enjoy it. Look out for me doing the one thing I really love, speaking up and out about WOMEN. SONG: I Am Woman by Helen Reddy

I have found myself in many male dominated fields of employment (military/Seminary). At many times there was conflict with me being there. Because I clashed it was easy to think the problem was me and I may have had a problem with authority figures because I was always under the instruction of men. Then it was easy to believe I was in a place I should not be if it's such a daily struggle. Now I have written a book about manhood throughout history and I am being told I can't have such a book because I am a woman. SONG: Happy by Pharrell Williams

6.  GIVING UP: We are all on our own individual journey and we are to live it out. Opposition is always the partner of great things. We see success and believe it happened overnight when there has been years of struggle and rejection and many who did not have the opportunity to see their work flourish, but they gave it their all. SONG: Don't Stop Me Now by Queen

We shouldn't give up on politics when our party doesn't win and we shouldn't become so loyal to a particular party until it hurts our Democracy. We should continue to not tolerate racism and sexism and protect each individual's right to exist. We should continue to learn mental health matters and its just another part of being healthy. Mental illness is not a shortcoming or flaw or something to not acknowledge. It is just another illness or health issue to address as one of the many illnesses the human body may have to confront in life. We all should strive to live our most authentic lives living into our gifts and talents enriching our own lives and the lives of others. SONG: What A Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong 

The things that make you mad should make you better. Two wrongs never make a right. I have witnessed women who feel mistreated by men become women who strongly dislike men and vice versa. This does not make the woman or man better, just bitter. How can one show up in the world in a healthy way being bitter? The Bible says in Ephesians 4:26 "Be angry, yet do not sin." Wise words to live by. I say be angry and sin-g. SONG: What the World Needs Now by Dionne Warwick 

So I ask you, WHAT MAKES YOU ANGRY and is there a song for that?