Childless Cat Lady (Taylor Swift)

Have you read the post READ around the world by TAYLOR SWIFT?

Directly after the 2024 Presidential Debate, Taylor Swift endorsed democratic presidential candidate, Kamala Harris. Her reason for endorsing Harris she said was due to a number of reasons, but we all know it is directly related to how horribly Donald Trump and JD Vance demean women, brown people, LGBT community, immigrants, well, EVERYONE.

Her picture accompanying her post was of her with a cat referencing JD Vance saying CHILDLESS CAT WOMEN do not have a stake in what happens to the country. Effectively saying, women without children vote does not mean anything. I believe Taylor Swift and other women who are SINGLE and CHILDLESS will prove him WRONG.

In the debate, Kamala Harris said America is tired of the OLD PLAYBOOK and it's time to turn the page. WE WON'T GO BACK! Saying women of a certain age who are not married and who do not have children IS a part of an old playbook instituted and perpetuated by MEN. 

If diamonds are a girl's best friend, then what is her enemy? If you answered time or her age, you would be correct if it was your answer before the 20th century.

If people could live forever in good health at a particular age, it would be 50, according to a 2013 Harris Poll. Gender and geography play a role in the age a person decides is the ideal age to remain for a lifetime. In the poll, men said the perfect age is 47, and women 53. In the Midwest, the perfect age is 50. In the East, it’s 53 and the West it’s 47. Notice, the perfect age is not under 30 like most would believe.

Aging is a natural and inevitable process that encompasses the gradual changes which occur in an individual's body and mind over time. For women, aging was not seen as attractive for them as it was and remains for men.  But do you know at what age a person looks the best? According to a study published in the Journal of Royal Society open access, people look their best in their 30's. There have been countless movies made, in the past, where a woman can be seen crying on her thirtieth birthday.

Today in the U.S., the median first age at marriage for women is 28. For men, it’s 30. From the 18th century up until the mid-20th century, the average age at first marriage dropped to a low of age 20 for women and age 22 for men. Then it began to rise again.

This an important piece of information because at one time, a woman, by her age alone, would be viewed as favorably as outdated milk if she was not married by a certain age. Like milk which has been in the refrigerator past its "use by date," society was reluctant to take a smell to check if it was still usable. A woman past a certain age was tossed out (by society), like the milk, not fit for consumption or use.

Before the 17th century, women who weren’t married were called maids, virgins or “puella,” the Latin word for “girl.” These words emphasized youth and chastity, and they presumed that women would only be single for a small portion of their life – a period of “pre-marriage.” But by the 17th century, new terms, such as “spinster” and “single woman,” emerged. If you were not married by a certain age, your youth was gone, and your virginal sensuality went out the door with it. Some would go as far to say it was the essence of femininity lost.

Spinning, making wool, was commonly done by unmarried women; hence the word came to denote an unmarried woman in legal documents from the 1600s to the early 1900s. By 1719, the word spinster was being used generically for woman still unmarried and beyond the usual age for it. As a denotation for unmarried women in a legal context, the term dates back to at least 1699, and was commonly used in banns of marriage of the Church of England where the prospective bride was described as a "spinster of this parish".

Age is a crucial part of the definition, according to Robin Lakoff's explanation in Language and Woman's Place: "If someone is a spinster, by implication she is not eligible [to marry]; she has had her chance and been passed by. Hence, a girl of twenty cannot be properly called a spinster: she still has a chance to be married". Yet other sources on terms describing a never-married woman indicate that the term applies to a woman as soon as she is of legal age or age of majority.

Fast forward to our present time, and women are met yet again with the idea if she is past a certain age and unmarried, then there must be a reason why men passed her by, and she is no longer a good marital prospect.

According to men who are listening to relationship advice about women in the Manosphere and Red Pill Community, woman's market value is at her highest between the ages of 16 and 25 (possibly up to 30 if she really takes care of herself and is lucky). During this age range, women are at their most attractive to men. They can rely on their looks and sexiness to attract guys (and often, manipulate men for their own gain.  

According to this group of men in this community, as a woman reaches 30 and beyond, her market value decreases, and she becomes less attractive to men. Once she reaches menopause, she's finished, and no man wants her anymore. 

Contrast this with how men age and what aging means to a man's market value. A young boy in his late teens or 20's is not yet his most attractive to women. He is still seen as a boy and not yet a man. As a man gets towards 30, his market value rapidly increases. He starts to look more manly in his appearance, and he starts to act more manly in his personality because he is maturing. Often, he has more career and financial success too. All these traits increase his market value and therefore his attractiveness towards women.

There is a time in a woman's life, also according to the manosphere, where she is considered, "Used Up.' This is when a girl can no longer pair-bond properly due to repeated failed relationships. This seems to reflect the condition of her 'heart' and has nothing to do with biology. But suggests, the innocent, youthful, even virginal quality of a young woman no longer exists due to experiences gained through relationships. This would make one assume, no one wants a jaded marital partner, so pass her by. Her time has expired.

Biologically, many argue that women are in their reproductive prime age for women in their 20's to early 30's. This phase is often referred to as the "prime years." After surveying over 16,000 individuals across eight different countries who were all asked at what ages they think men and women are most beautiful, the data found the overall average age where women are found to be most attractive is 28. Women tend to experience accelerated aging around the ages of 30 and 50, according to a study that analyzed a wide range of molecular and physical markers. Science indicates there is a biological change in a woman's life, but not to the extent of warranting being labeled as "Used Up."

Podcaster Pearl Davis's (@JustPearlyThings) videos, is a strong supporter of the idea that a woman can only be high value until her late 30's. She has often voiced outrage against the body positivity movement because to her, weight has a lot to do with whether or not a woman is capable of being a worthy partner to a man. According to Davis, a high-value woman only ever wants a family and children, and if a woman doesn't want that, she's not worth much.  Female sexuality is another sore spot for many such high-value content creators. Jebediah Bila (@JebediahBilaLIVE), with a massive following of 125,000 subscribers, regularly speaks up about it. In her eyes, a woman's value is surely influenced by how active she is sexually and ruins her prospects at landing a good partner. Chances are the older the unmarried woman is, the higher the probability she has had numerous sex partners. Their goes the loss of that virginal quality again. You now must be labeled a spinster.

Women who were once called spinsters eventually started being called old maids. The term "old maid" is old-fashioned and derogatory, and it's not considered polite to use to describe a woman who is unmarried. However, in the past, a woman over the age of 25 who was unmarried was considered an old maid. In the 17th century, New Englanders also used the term "thornback" to describe single women over 25. In the late 1690s, the term old maid became common. The expression emphasizes the paradox of being old and yet still virginal and unmarried.

These unmarried women, who had to be labeled for society to know how to view and treat them had not only lost their youthful value, innocence, and desired virginal quality, they were viewed as unhappy also. It was unconceivable that an unmarried woman could be happy. The labels given, spinster and old maid, indicated the only thing she was able to do was spin yarn, cook, and/or clean. Her life compared to that of a married woman of that time who also spun yarn, cooked, and/or cleaned was that the married woman did it for husband and children while she was alone.

A 2014 Brookings Institute study on happiness and age found that people are least happy in their 20's, 30's, and early 40's, and steadily gain an appreciation for life as they age. Indeed, most women become increasingly happy after age 55, with their peak of happiness toward the very end of life! Aging is commonly measured by chronological age. As a convention, a person over age 65 is often referred to as elderly. Typically, muscle mass and strength increase steadily from birth and reach their peak at around 30 to 35 years of age. After that, muscle power and performance decline slowly and linearly at first, and then faster after age 65 for women and 70 for men.

The expiration dates on women were effectively taken of during the 20th century only to see a resurgence in this century. The value of a woman married or unmarried still revolves around how desired she is by men. If this is the standard to judge a woman's value or worth to a society, her marital suitability, then a majority of women are spinsters, old maids, and low-value women.

Since we live in a world guided by science, women do not have to embrace these labels. Men do not have such labels. Correction, I do believe there is a low value man, but the term is not part of the mainstream. With such an emphasis placed on female youthfulness, innocence, and virginity, it would seem our society would be ripe with pedophiles. The prevalence of pedophilic disorder is unknown, as the social stigma around it does not invite people to self-identify. Estimates of its prevalence range from one to five percent of the male. population. 

Thankfully, through showing and not just saying, women have shown they don't have to be thrown out by any obscure expiration date. Women choose at what age they want to marry if they marry at all. Lately, thanks to vice presidential nominee JD Vance, it's okay to be the unmarried cat lady. 

If you read my blog, you will notice I look at the way history has defined women and womanhood. History has not been kind to the ladies and for sure not to the single lady. I believe the greatest part about being a woman is how we define ourselves. We are always writing that history. Taylor Swift decided to let her voice and vote be known. We are at a time in history where women are deciding how they want to be defined in the future. The overwhelming sentiment, in unison by women is, WE WON'T GO BACK!

The Honeymoon Is Over!

In a new relationship or newly married? Then you are in what people call the "honeymoon phase."

The honeymoon phase is the early stage of a relationship when couples experience intense feelings of love, passion, and excitement. It's characterized by a heightened sense of closeness, infatuation, and carefree happiness. During the honeymoon phase, you might:

• Feel like you want to be with your partner all the time.
• Miss your partner as soon as they leave.
• Feel hopeful about your future together.
• Learn more about each other's personalities.
• Explore your intimacy.
• Have a lot of fun together.

The honeymoon phase can last anywhere from six months to several years. Some couples don't have a honeymoon phase, or their honeymoon phase may be drawn out over time. The honeymoon phase will fade with time, but love should grow with time. The honeymoon phase is exciting because it's too soon to know your partner's full personality, with all its positives and negatives. However, you'll naturally transition out of the honeymoon phase when the realities of life start to creep in, and hard conversations start to bubble to the surface.

We all love the honeymoon phase of relationships when we don't quite realize our chosen one is a flawed, annoying human with red flags blowing in the wind. This made me wonder what the opposite of a honeymoon phase is called. My first thought was the "murder phase" because once you begin noticing how irritating and infuriating you 'loved one' is, the more you feel like murdering them. But the term 'murder phase' does not lead one to believe there was any love at all so that term may be too extreme. But none-the-less, we eventually enter you're on my last nerve, I can't stand you phase if we remain in long-term relationships.

Relationship experts say the prime number years of relationships are often the hardest, such as 1, 3, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, and 29. These years often correspond with significant transitions and pressure points in marriage.

The stages of a relationship have been divided for your easy consumption:

HONEYMOON = Start to 1 year.  You're connecting with someone you find exciting and who finds you exciting. You're eager to learn about them, can't get enough of them, and have all of those passionate feelings that make dating so thrilling. There is so much anticipation, curiosity, nervousness, and wonder.

BACK-TO-REALITY = 1-2 years. This is where things get real in a different way; you'll likely approach topics that are uncomfortable, you'll probably meet each other's friends and/or family, and you might realize some things about each other that possibly annoy you or deserve a conversation.

DECISION MAKING = 2-3 years. Everything is out, exposed, and on the table in this stage of a relationship. You probably know each other's traumas, hang-ups, weaknesses, communication struggles, and most profound needs and fears. It's all out there: You are fully emotionally in the nude. This can be a complicated phase if the relationship feels like it isn't going to work out; it can feel even more painful to lose someone after they have experienced you in all your forms and you've experienced them in all of theirs.

SETTLING DOWN = 3 + years. This part is refreshing because you feel known and have the privilege of truly knowing your partner — it's beautiful and sweet while also being relatively predictable, in a comforting way. The relationship has likely developed its own language for navigating the world together. Of course, this time period won't always be sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns, but it will likely be easier to navigate uncomfortable conversations, situations, and shortcomings because of the years of practiced communication.

These phases or stages are PRE-MARRIAGE, before the murder stage I alluded to. Divorce lawyers, psychologists, and researchers have slotted years of marriage into periods and have rated them based on their risk of divorce:

• Years 1–2: Very Risky.
• Years 3–4: Mild Risk.
• Years 5–8: Very Risky.
• Years 9–15: Low Risk.
• Years 15 and over: Low to Mild Risk.

We all have heard of the seven-year-itch. The seven-year itch, as it’s called, is a term that describe feelings of being restless or dissatisfied in a relationship — typically at that seven-year mark. In 1955, Marilyn Monroe starred in a film called The Seven Year Itch, in which a married man becomes so infatuated with her that he starts planning to cheat on his wife. The man has been reading a psychiatrist’s manuscript, which claims that all men cheat in their seventh year of marriage — which is exactly how long he’s been married. While research outcomes vary somewhat, the percentage of divorces, particularly in first-time marriages, tends to spike around the seven- or eight-year mark.

Of course, by the seven-year mark, partners are well past the honeymoon phase — and issues may have begun to arise. “With added time, marital struggles can include issues like poor communication and listening skills, a lack of empathy, and partners having unrealistic expectations of one another,” Dr. Borland explains. The seventh year of marriage may have symptoms of the 'itch' which includes:

A lack of physical and/or emotional intimacy.

Poor communication

Increased conflict, including arguing, hurtful words or criticism.

Keeping secrets from your partner.

Not spending much or meaningful time together.

Taking one another for granted and/or feeling unappreciated.

A lack of trust.

Fantasizing about infidelity

There may be some truth to the seven-year-itch because when marriages end, usually some time has passed since the wedding. In fact, the average length of a marriage prior to divorce is eight years. Some of the most common reasons for divorce include disagreements over money, infidelity, lack of communication, passive aggressive behavior and more. Other reasons for divorce include longer life expectancy, which may compel older couples to divorce, or the mental and emotional strain that comes with having young children. 

If you make it past year eight, then comes year ten.

“After a decade together, turning into roommates becomes a big risk as partners can slowly over the years take their focus off of each other and give all of their attention to dealing with day-to-day life,” Kurt Smith, a therapist who specializes in counseling men, told HuffPost. “Couples can easily turn into partners in managing a family or life, rather than partners in love.”

Partners can become bored with each other.  Boredom in a marriage is usually a sign that you and your partner have started taking each other ― and the relationship ― for granted, said psychotherapist, Tina Tessina.

Your sex life may fade. A couple's sex life may ebb and flow over the years for any number of reasons: physical or mental health issues, having kids, side effects of certain medications, stress, relationship problems, and sleep issues, among many others. Sex therapists say those dips are totally normal. But if you’re not committed to getting back on track, the sexual dry spells can end up lasting longer and longer, leaving one or both partners feeling rejected and disconnected.

“Many couples sacrifice their dreams in order to maintain stability when initially building a relationship and family,” couples therapist Kari Carroll said. “But by 10 years, they are realizing that life is calling, and they must negotiate how to help both themselves and their partner achieve greater fulfillment.”

“Early on in marriage, we can have a great amount of graciousness with each other as our love for each other makes up for all shortcomings or failures,” Smith said. “Sadly, as a marriage matures, the patience can fade.”

Early on in a relationship, you’ll find any excuse to celebrate: your eight-month anniversary, making it through a tough week of work or National Margarita Day. But as time goes on, those celebrations may become less and less frequent.

There seems like there are several reasons for a marriage, once out of the honeymoon phase, to enter Death Valley. But people have had long lasting marriages. HOW!!

This is what people who have been married for over 25 years have to say:

KEEP THE PEACE. Try not to fight like high schoolers—don’t play games, give the silent treatment, argue over the same things over and over, or bring up past issues in every subsequent fight.

KEEP GROWING. Expect and accept change. No one remains stagnant for twenty-five years, nor should they. You may sometimes feel like you’re with someone different than the person you married long ago. But if basic values, ethics, and morals are the foundation of a person’s character, growth can add to marital satisfaction instead of taking away from it.

STAY FLEXIBLE. Roll with the punches. As this past year has shown, you have to keep reinventing your relationship to withstand what has been thrown at you. Never consider yourself too old to switch up ‘roles’ within the marriage—if you change things up, you’ll have a fresh window into your partner’s life.

SHOW YOUR LOVE. It’s important to do little things on a regular basis to show your love.

DON'T KEEP SCORE. Don’t keep score or rate who does more. A good partner knows when to step in, when to take over and when to encourage you to keep moving forward—not get caught up in keeping tabs. 

KEEP LAUGHING. 

DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF. Remember it’s a marathon, not a sprint, so pace yourself and pick your battles carefully. It’s easy to argue about the silliest of things but does it really matter how the dishwasher gets loaded or the car gets packed before going on a road trip? You come to realize it’s crazy to ruin an evening together or a trip away over stuff like this.

KEEP IT A PARTNERSHIP.

FINISH THE FIGHT. Never go to bed mad at each other—end a fight then and there so nothing carries over into the next day. And don’t lose sight that every couple fights, it’s about how well you move on and process things that matters.

SUPPOERT EACH OTHER'S INTERESTS. Having separate interests is key to a happy marriage. 

REMAIN FRIENDS. For a marriage to be successful, both husband and wife need to view themselves as partners—you are no longer just yourself, you have another half to constantly consider.

ACKNOWLEDGE WHO YOU ARE MARRYING. Be sure you’re marrying your friend. You need to really, really, really like the person you are marrying just the way they are as there’s no changing someone after the fact.

KEEP THE NORTH STAR IN SIGHT. Be determined to see it through—divorce is never an option. Be willing to follow the journey.

Those married people put in a lot of work!! One BIG reason they probably made it to 25 years of marriage and beyond, is they never called or entertained that their marriage was in a 'murder phase." All of the work they put into each other, and marriage was for it to LIVE, not DIE. 

Whether the seven-year-itch is real or not, an itch is just that, an itch. Itches go away even without scratching. Marriages can go well beyond the honeymoon phase with thought and effort. Prime numbers be damned! You picked each other for a reason. They were your ONE. Surely, those 15 annoying things they do, do not outweigh the fact that they chose you and you chose them.

Lust/Love and Social Media

Tina Turner had a song which asked, "What's love gotta do with it?"

You must understand, though the touch of your hand
Makes my pulse react
That it's only the thrill of boy meeting girl
Opposites attract

It's physical
Only logical
You must try to ignore that it means more than that

Oh-oh, what's love got to do, got to do with it?
What's love but a second-hand emotion?
What's love got to do, got to do with it?
Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?

Seems like Tina was on to something. She tried to clue us in to the FACT that what a person is calling LOVE at first sight is no more than ATTRACTION and/or LUST. Dating people rarely make it to the true LOVE stage. Let's talk.

Even though many of us don’t want to admit it, good looks are the strongest factor influencing attraction. That’s according to Madeleine A. Fugère, Ph.D., a psychology professor at Eastern Connecticut State University and author of The Social Psychology of Attraction and Romantic Relationships. Cultural and family norms can have a big impact on the types of people we might choose to pursue or not pursue as potential romantic partners also.

Mating market preferences and decisions regarding attractiveness are arguably based on three core areas: appearances (aesthetics), personal characteristics and qualities (personality), and the ability to provide (resource) access and security to potential suitors.

Social media allows the modern man (and women) to be a hunter. Not a hunter of animals, but a hunter of women (men).

Hunting is viewed as status or competition among men and within their community. Hunting for men, more rarely for women, is fascinating and emotionally arousing with the parallel release of testosterone, serotonin, and endorphins, which can produce feelings of euphoria and alleviate pain. Dopamine is also a chemical released by the brain and is usually described as a “reward chemical”, whose evolutionary function is to give us an emotional hit when engaged in activities that are likely to improve our reproductive success such as hunting. For centuries, a man being a successful hunter elevated his status among the other men and increased his potential for mating with the females. 

According to a team of scientists led by Dr. Helen Fisher at Rutgers, romantic love can be broken down into three catagories: lust, attraction, and attachment. Each category is characterized by its own set of hormones stemming from the brain. Lust is driven by the desire for sexual gratification. The hypothalamus of the brain plays a big role in this, stimulating the production of the sex hormones, testosterone and estrogen, from the testes and ovaries. Testosterone increases libido in just about everyone. 

Attraction involves the brain pathways that control “reward” behavior, which partly explains why the first few weeks or months of a relationship can be so exhilarating and even all-consuming. This is that on cloud nine stage of dating.

Dopamine, produced by the hypothalamus, is a particularly well-publicized player in the brain’s reward pathway – it’s released when we do things that feel good to us. In this case, these things include spending time with loved ones and having sex. High levels of dopamine and a related hormone, norepinephrine, are released during attraction. These chemicals make us giddy, energetic, and euphoric, feelings even leading to decreased appetite and insomnia – which means you actually can be so “in love” that you can’t eat and can’t sleep. 

Many people in the dating scene ONLY want the lust and attraction stage of relationships. When the 'feel good' chemicals no longer give them their cloud nine feeling, they believe the love is gone when the relationship never entered the love stage. The lust and attraction hormones are the most powerful 'street' drugs making short-term relationship addicts out of the everyday person.

Brain scans of people 'in love' have actually shown that the primary “reward” centers of the brain, including the ventral tegmental area and the caudate nucleus, fire like crazy when people are shown a photo of someone they are intensely attracted to, compared to when they are shown someone they feel neutral towards (like an old high school acquaintance). The same brain regions light up when we become addicted to material goods as when we become emotionally dependent on our partners. And addicts going into withdrawal are not unlike love-struck people craving the company of someone they cannot see.

When looking at attachment oxytocin is often nicknamed the “cuddle hormone” for this reason. Like dopamine, oxytocin is produced by the hypothalamus and released in large quantities during sex. Cuddling can lead to attachment. Attatchment can lead to long-term relationships. [1] Men figured out a long time ago that cuddling after sex means you are in a relationship. Think back to people you were with sexually and whether or not they enjoyed cuddling with you. 

Social media is over stimulating attraction, lust, and the hunter-conqueror aspect of men with quick, easy access to beautiful women around the world of different ethnicities and cultures. I emphasize beautiful women because its scientific fact men are more sexually aroused by visual stimuli (photos), but women are more sexually aroused by concrete, auditory, olfactory, touch and emotionally relevant sexual stimulation. The internet is a crack dealer offering a wide selection of men and women to get HIGH on daily.

The mating game has always been a game about dipping into a healthy gene pool. Science continues to tell us men and women want to have a mate who is healthy.

Physical characteristics (e.g., narrow waist, long legs, and medium–large breasts) play an important role in determining attractiveness and selecting a potential mate for men. According to research, men prefer women with long, thick, and shiny hair. Turns out, they subconsciously consider this an indicator of good health, vital energy, and even a sign of fertility.

Studies have shown that pheromones reveal a variety of information about a person, including the one that relates to the health of their immune system. Therefore, men are able to determine women with the best immune system with the help of their smell. Wonder if that is why we wear so much perfume and cologne?

When we first look at a person, we are taking in more information than we realize. The symmetry of the face has a high importance in determining the attractiveness of women. It can even be calculated with the help of several tricks. Men pay attention to these criteria subconsciously because these facial features are a sign of good genes. Asymmetry, on the contrary, is associated with poor health, bad genes, and even abnormalities in the reproductive organs. The condition of women’s teeth plays a significant role for the representatives of the male gender. All because it gives an idea of its “residual reproductive value” regardless of age. I knew that you could check a horse's teeth to determine their age, but I never thought about humans doing it.

Studies have shown that men prefer thin female voices because they are perceived as younger and more womanish and show a high level of estrogen. Moreover, a high-pitched voice also assumes a smaller body size, while a low voice is usually more associated with masculinity, which means that women like men who have a deep voice. When hearing it, they subconsciously imagine a big and strong man.

Though women might be known for spending more time in front of the mirror, it’s actually men who are more judgemental when it comes to looks. According to a 2007 study performed in Germany, men placed far greater importance on the attractiveness of their mates than females. Remember, men are hunters and love to bag a trophy. He goes for the big game. 

And while women were still drawn to attractive men, they were more likely to consider dating less attractive individuals if they possessed other qualities they prized. Women choose handsome, tall men for short-term relationships but choose men with status for long-term relationships.

Women with higher BMIs (body mass index) or lower facial attractiveness were less selective in mate selection than their thinner, more attractive counterparts. Furthermore, these women became even less selective when there were more attractive females in the room.[2]  In this case, it was her attractiveness (not his) that influenced her selection. While looks are indeed important to women, they typically base their mate selection on more contextual factors. Surprising examples include the availability of competition and their estimates of their own attractiveness. You are right guys. You can never really know what a woman wants.

Women are not attracted directly to wealth and status, but to the behaviours indicating a man genuinely has wealth and status. 

Women are attracted to men with status and wealth. Women must be able to differentiate between the men who genuinely have wealth and social status, and those who are faking. One way to do this is by developing a heightened sense of social perception and recognizing what a successful man's behaviour looks like compared to the behaviour of an imitator. The behaviours become the primary source of attraction. 

This provides the explanation for why it seems like wealth, status, and height matter so much. If you were suddenly made better looking, a few inches taller, and inherited a billion dollars, would you behave the same way you do now? Of course not! You’d instantly be more confident, more relaxed, happier, less stressed out, and so on.

Women pick up on these behaviours, and it’s these behaviour patterns that are at the core of attraction, not the wealth and status itself. One study has shown that whether a man is considered attractive has more to do with the absence of bad qualities, rather than the presence of good qualities.

My next point I found as a surprise. The best looking thing on a man may be a good-looking woman. Women rate a man they see with an attractive woman as more desireable than an unattatched man. SURPRISE! Women probably assume partnered-up men must have those qualities of smarts and personality to be an appropriate match for a good-looking mate. 

Of course there are hundreds of studies that try to figure out how and why we are attracted to the people we are attracted to. Social media is filled with people giving relationship advice. No matter the findings by professionals and amatuers, no one has found the magic potion to get the person you want to want you back. Those dating in the dating world, with the help of social media, are offered a buffet full of selections. We know a person's appetite can be picky and ever changing. And if diners are like me, they eat their dessert first. 

Even with the ease of having a bigger pool to select a mate from, long-term relationships remain elusive. Drugs mess you up. Lust and attraction are 'drug' induced feelings. Addiction to the feel good feelings can make you a serial dater. "Love" addicts fall in and out of love and wonder why they can not find the 'one.' The truth is the 'one' will be boring after the lust and attraction drugs die down or when you build up a tolerence to them. The person then has to decide once the butterflies and fireworks die down, do they still want to be with the person. Most people move on to the next bigger better high. I say it again, social media is a drug dealer.

So, you get no dating advice from me. I will just say good luck and good hunting.

Tips given to make a person more attractive.

1.    Women smile more. Smiling makes women look friendly and “sexually receptive.” The same doesn’t hold true for men. People typically associate expressions of happiness with femininity.

2.    Women, wear the color red. This red-attractiveness link is partially explained by men’s perceptions of implied sexual receptivity among women wearing reddish garb. Studies have shown women tend to wear red and pink when they are biologically more sexually receptive, like during ovulation. Can anyone say Barbie? If you want attention from the ladies, a man's best bet is to stick to red, purple, black, blue, or white (but only white if it's in the form of a plain white t-shirt with jeans). 

3.    Don't play hard to get. Recent studies suggest that people are more likely to rate others as attractive if they can easily understand the emotions they’re displaying. 

4.    A higher-pitched voice in women is more attractive to men—and vice versa, a lower-pitched voice in men is more attractive to women. 

5.    A sense of humor in a man has been scientifically proven to draw the attention of women. Men also find women who laugh at their humor attractive.

6.    Be kind. The ‘halo effect’ suggests that those who are perceived as physically attractive are also perceived as having socially favorable personality traits like kindness.

7.    The most attractive physical features fall under ‘self-care’—things like good grooming, clean hair, nice fitting and quality clothing, good posture, and healthy weight. We are more likely to search out a partner who is healthy and strong (which mean good genes), as well as capable of taking care of future offspring, which is evidenced by how they take care of themselves. 

8.    Don't stress. Women seem to be able to detect the men who have the strongest immune response and they seem to find them the most attractive. The researchers suspect that testosterone, which is linked with a strong immune system and low cortisol, also plays a role in attracting women.

9.    Faces with natural makeup were seen favorably but faces with more dramatic makeup were seen as less trustworthy. On social media, men seem to DM women with great bodies and makeup skills, but they don't trust them. Men should grow facial hair, especially a beard because it makes him seem more masculine.

Excerpts taken from my manuscript, Manhood Interrupted Please like, share, comment, and follow. Thank you   

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[1] Wu, Katherine, Love, Actually: The science behind lust, attraction, and companionship, 02/17/2017. www.Love, Actually: The science behind lust, attraction, and companionship - Science in the News (harvard.edu).