Childless Cat Lady (Taylor Swift)

Have you read the post READ around the world by TAYLOR SWIFT?

Directly after the 2024 Presidential Debate, Taylor Swift endorsed democratic presidential candidate, Kamala Harris. Her reason for endorsing Harris she said was due to a number of reasons, but we all know it is directly related to how horribly Donald Trump and JD Vance demean women, brown people, LGBT community, immigrants, well, EVERYONE.

Her picture accompanying her post was of her with a cat referencing JD Vance saying CHILDLESS CAT WOMEN do not have a stake in what happens to the country. Effectively saying, women without children vote does not mean anything. I believe Taylor Swift and other women who are SINGLE and CHILDLESS will prove him WRONG.

In the debate, Kamala Harris said America is tired of the OLD PLAYBOOK and it's time to turn the page. WE WON'T GO BACK! Saying women of a certain age who are not married and who do not have children IS a part of an old playbook instituted and perpetuated by MEN. 

If diamonds are a girl's best friend, then what is her enemy? If you answered time or her age, you would be correct if it was your answer before the 20th century.

If people could live forever in good health at a particular age, it would be 50, according to a 2013 Harris Poll. Gender and geography play a role in the age a person decides is the ideal age to remain for a lifetime. In the poll, men said the perfect age is 47, and women 53. In the Midwest, the perfect age is 50. In the East, it’s 53 and the West it’s 47. Notice, the perfect age is not under 30 like most would believe.

Aging is a natural and inevitable process that encompasses the gradual changes which occur in an individual's body and mind over time. For women, aging was not seen as attractive for them as it was and remains for men.  But do you know at what age a person looks the best? According to a study published in the Journal of Royal Society open access, people look their best in their 30's. There have been countless movies made, in the past, where a woman can be seen crying on her thirtieth birthday.

Today in the U.S., the median first age at marriage for women is 28. For men, it’s 30. From the 18th century up until the mid-20th century, the average age at first marriage dropped to a low of age 20 for women and age 22 for men. Then it began to rise again.

This an important piece of information because at one time, a woman, by her age alone, would be viewed as favorably as outdated milk if she was not married by a certain age. Like milk which has been in the refrigerator past its "use by date," society was reluctant to take a smell to check if it was still usable. A woman past a certain age was tossed out (by society), like the milk, not fit for consumption or use.

Before the 17th century, women who weren’t married were called maids, virgins or “puella,” the Latin word for “girl.” These words emphasized youth and chastity, and they presumed that women would only be single for a small portion of their life – a period of “pre-marriage.” But by the 17th century, new terms, such as “spinster” and “single woman,” emerged. If you were not married by a certain age, your youth was gone, and your virginal sensuality went out the door with it. Some would go as far to say it was the essence of femininity lost.

Spinning, making wool, was commonly done by unmarried women; hence the word came to denote an unmarried woman in legal documents from the 1600s to the early 1900s. By 1719, the word spinster was being used generically for woman still unmarried and beyond the usual age for it. As a denotation for unmarried women in a legal context, the term dates back to at least 1699, and was commonly used in banns of marriage of the Church of England where the prospective bride was described as a "spinster of this parish".

Age is a crucial part of the definition, according to Robin Lakoff's explanation in Language and Woman's Place: "If someone is a spinster, by implication she is not eligible [to marry]; she has had her chance and been passed by. Hence, a girl of twenty cannot be properly called a spinster: she still has a chance to be married". Yet other sources on terms describing a never-married woman indicate that the term applies to a woman as soon as she is of legal age or age of majority.

Fast forward to our present time, and women are met yet again with the idea if she is past a certain age and unmarried, then there must be a reason why men passed her by, and she is no longer a good marital prospect.

According to men who are listening to relationship advice about women in the Manosphere and Red Pill Community, woman's market value is at her highest between the ages of 16 and 25 (possibly up to 30 if she really takes care of herself and is lucky). During this age range, women are at their most attractive to men. They can rely on their looks and sexiness to attract guys (and often, manipulate men for their own gain.  

According to this group of men in this community, as a woman reaches 30 and beyond, her market value decreases, and she becomes less attractive to men. Once she reaches menopause, she's finished, and no man wants her anymore. 

Contrast this with how men age and what aging means to a man's market value. A young boy in his late teens or 20's is not yet his most attractive to women. He is still seen as a boy and not yet a man. As a man gets towards 30, his market value rapidly increases. He starts to look more manly in his appearance, and he starts to act more manly in his personality because he is maturing. Often, he has more career and financial success too. All these traits increase his market value and therefore his attractiveness towards women.

There is a time in a woman's life, also according to the manosphere, where she is considered, "Used Up.' This is when a girl can no longer pair-bond properly due to repeated failed relationships. This seems to reflect the condition of her 'heart' and has nothing to do with biology. But suggests, the innocent, youthful, even virginal quality of a young woman no longer exists due to experiences gained through relationships. This would make one assume, no one wants a jaded marital partner, so pass her by. Her time has expired.

Biologically, many argue that women are in their reproductive prime age for women in their 20's to early 30's. This phase is often referred to as the "prime years." After surveying over 16,000 individuals across eight different countries who were all asked at what ages they think men and women are most beautiful, the data found the overall average age where women are found to be most attractive is 28. Women tend to experience accelerated aging around the ages of 30 and 50, according to a study that analyzed a wide range of molecular and physical markers. Science indicates there is a biological change in a woman's life, but not to the extent of warranting being labeled as "Used Up."

Podcaster Pearl Davis's (@JustPearlyThings) videos, is a strong supporter of the idea that a woman can only be high value until her late 30's. She has often voiced outrage against the body positivity movement because to her, weight has a lot to do with whether or not a woman is capable of being a worthy partner to a man. According to Davis, a high-value woman only ever wants a family and children, and if a woman doesn't want that, she's not worth much.  Female sexuality is another sore spot for many such high-value content creators. Jebediah Bila (@JebediahBilaLIVE), with a massive following of 125,000 subscribers, regularly speaks up about it. In her eyes, a woman's value is surely influenced by how active she is sexually and ruins her prospects at landing a good partner. Chances are the older the unmarried woman is, the higher the probability she has had numerous sex partners. Their goes the loss of that virginal quality again. You now must be labeled a spinster.

Women who were once called spinsters eventually started being called old maids. The term "old maid" is old-fashioned and derogatory, and it's not considered polite to use to describe a woman who is unmarried. However, in the past, a woman over the age of 25 who was unmarried was considered an old maid. In the 17th century, New Englanders also used the term "thornback" to describe single women over 25. In the late 1690s, the term old maid became common. The expression emphasizes the paradox of being old and yet still virginal and unmarried.

These unmarried women, who had to be labeled for society to know how to view and treat them had not only lost their youthful value, innocence, and desired virginal quality, they were viewed as unhappy also. It was unconceivable that an unmarried woman could be happy. The labels given, spinster and old maid, indicated the only thing she was able to do was spin yarn, cook, and/or clean. Her life compared to that of a married woman of that time who also spun yarn, cooked, and/or cleaned was that the married woman did it for husband and children while she was alone.

A 2014 Brookings Institute study on happiness and age found that people are least happy in their 20's, 30's, and early 40's, and steadily gain an appreciation for life as they age. Indeed, most women become increasingly happy after age 55, with their peak of happiness toward the very end of life! Aging is commonly measured by chronological age. As a convention, a person over age 65 is often referred to as elderly. Typically, muscle mass and strength increase steadily from birth and reach their peak at around 30 to 35 years of age. After that, muscle power and performance decline slowly and linearly at first, and then faster after age 65 for women and 70 for men.

The expiration dates on women were effectively taken of during the 20th century only to see a resurgence in this century. The value of a woman married or unmarried still revolves around how desired she is by men. If this is the standard to judge a woman's value or worth to a society, her marital suitability, then a majority of women are spinsters, old maids, and low-value women.

Since we live in a world guided by science, women do not have to embrace these labels. Men do not have such labels. Correction, I do believe there is a low value man, but the term is not part of the mainstream. With such an emphasis placed on female youthfulness, innocence, and virginity, it would seem our society would be ripe with pedophiles. The prevalence of pedophilic disorder is unknown, as the social stigma around it does not invite people to self-identify. Estimates of its prevalence range from one to five percent of the male. population. 

Thankfully, through showing and not just saying, women have shown they don't have to be thrown out by any obscure expiration date. Women choose at what age they want to marry if they marry at all. Lately, thanks to vice presidential nominee JD Vance, it's okay to be the unmarried cat lady. 

If you read my blog, you will notice I look at the way history has defined women and womanhood. History has not been kind to the ladies and for sure not to the single lady. I believe the greatest part about being a woman is how we define ourselves. We are always writing that history. Taylor Swift decided to let her voice and vote be known. We are at a time in history where women are deciding how they want to be defined in the future. The overwhelming sentiment, in unison by women is, WE WON'T GO BACK!

SEX And The Christian Marriage

 

I have taken many courses on Marriage Counseling from the secular and Christian perspective. Both agree that sex is an important component in marriage and can cause stress and strain on a marriage. Intimacy is held in high regard in both sectors of teaching on marriage. There is a major difference between the two camps of teaching on sex in marriage. The Christian aspect on marriage is that a wife can never decline to have sexual relations with her husband.

"The husband should fulfill his marital duties to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by MUTUAL CONSENT and for a time so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I SAY THIS AS A CONCESSION, NOT AS A COMMAND." 1 Corinthians 7:3-6.

Without hesitation a Christian husband will say a Christian wife cannot deny a husband sex; it is her duty because her body does not belong to herself. I wrote the complete passage on the subject, but it seems that Christian men rather not read the entire passage.

One of my professors stated that when a Christian couple comes in for counseling due to infidelity on the husband's part, the first question he asks the woman is "Did you keep him sexually satiated?" I was stunned by this **it must be said that I was the only female in this class and my shock was singular* The instructor went on to explain that is why Paul instructed women not to deny their husband's sex, because Satan would tempt a sexually starved man to cheat and thus it is her shortcoming for her husband's sexual appetite not being fulfilled on demand by the wife. If the man was getting steak at home every night he could pass the enticing aroma of steak eminating from another house as he passed by on his way home each night. Shock was soon replaced by sadness.

On AFR radio I heard the host and a doctor of psychology discussing sex in the Christian marriage and how a wife is commanded by God not to deny her husband. A sexually satisfied man is able and freed to become the head of his household because sex destresses him and makes him feel more like a man; a duty of the wife.

The men went on to explain how women just do not get how important sex is to a man. The expert went on to recount an experience he had with his own wife on a Thursday night. He walked into the kitchen one night and saw his wife loading the dishwasher. As she bent over loading the dirty dishes he said "Do you know what I'm thinking?" She replied "Yes, I do and we were just together Tuesday, it's just Thursday."

The two men chuckled and went on to explain how flattering it should be to a wife to be desired at all times by her husband. ***My husband was with me listening to this radio pragram and wanted to turn the channel. I don't know if it was due to shame or because he knew I was beginning to get angry at what I was hearing.***

The men said a wife just does not understand how wonderful her husband would feel after working all day to support her and the family in the stressful job market to come home to a woman who had been waiting all day to have sex with him. After having served him a wonderful meal and ushered the kids to bed to have her smelling good and awaiting him in the bed would encourage him in his role as head of the household as God intended.

Another professor I had who actually did marriage counseling as a career stated, when a man entered into the session and began to list what the Bible states the duties of a Christian wife are, he stops him and tells the husband to tell him how HE fulfills his biblical duties as a husband and not discuss his wife's shortcomings. HORRAH for him. *He was may favorite Marriage and Family instructor.

I wanted to write a book telling women they have the right to do with their bodies as they please, but there is no misinterpretation of that Scripture. God intended for the couple not to with hold sex from each other. In Corinth adultry was rampant and Paul wanted to try to help the Christian marriage survive this influence, so he instructed them to fulfill sexual needs within the marriage. If the couple works together and discusses what works for them in the bedroom then of course this would create intimacy and respect for each other. Paul stated that this was a suggestion and not a command; which is the important part of the equation. God stated that a couple was to become as one, so the woman's body and the husband's body was not two separate entities but one. Somehow, they would have to manage the sexual aspect of marraige with respect and consideration not hurting and neglecting each other.

What if a man was told to eat when he was not hungry because it would make his wife feel more like a woman? Wouldn't that man soon develop an avesion to food? What if he was watching a football game and the woman just looked at him and said "I would like for you to eat this meal out of the blue? Would he think she was crazy? What indication had he given her that he was even hungry? What if her womanhood was wrapped up in whether he declined to eat? How about if the man is sick? Should a woman be pushing meals on him? When is a sexual request out of order for the man?

A young Christian married couple still newlyweds, marriage crumbled over sex. An amorous husband found his wife irresistable after she had dressed to go to a meeting. On her way out of the door, he wanted a quick sexual encounter. The wife promised to return as early as possible to come back to satisfy his husbandly urges. Knowing and having been taught a wife should not deny her husband sexually, he became upset and decided to go to a strip club.

This left the young bride with much turmoil. Her refusal to her Christian husband led him to seek sexual satisfaction elsewhere outside of the marriage. The pastor in which they saught counseling from accepted her repentence for her sin and said maybe she may need to leave her blossoming law career if it was going to cause conflict in her marriage. The couple divorced within the year. The young woman wrestled with her sin for 2 more years and the husband has married and divorced 2 more times since his marriage to her.

I said all of this to say: Christian husbands - you should hear what your wives say in whispered voices about their DUTY of having sex on demand to other women. Slavery demands its property to fulfill duties whether they want to or not. The punishment for not fulfilling sexual duties is to be told you are not a Christian wife. It is sad to know all other efforts at being a good Christian and a good Christian wife can be cancelled by just not wanting to have sex on demand. Depression ensues and aversion to the sex act grows. Practiced shows of intimacy and submission is the outcome. Anger finds root because the husband does not even recognize or do not care about the lack of enthusiasm the woman is showing about the sex act. All she is needed to do is to show up.

This is not the case in many Christian marriages, but horror stories exist. The test is if a man is saying: "It is the woman's duty" or "her body does not belong to herself" there may be a problem. When you are reminding someone "you must do this" you are going to have a problem.

I believe men and women should have more open conversations about sex in Christian marriage without the threat of being called "not a Christian." Women should start these groups and invite the men to hear "the real talk about sex in Christian marriages." God knows the heart of everyone. Hypocrisy is not one of His favorite traits. How can this divide be bridged. SEX is beautiful, can remain beautiful, and is God ordained. Christians should be leading the way in happy healthy sexual relationships.

Don't for get to buy my book When Will Eve Be Forgiven? available on amazon.com and please like, share, comment and follow my blog. Thank you.

What Kind Of Lover Are You?

    Face it. People love to be in love. There are love songs that tug at heart strings we play over and over. Etta Jame's cover of the song "At Last' is played as a first dance song at weddings. Her soulful crooning about love sends shivers up the spine. "All Of Me" by John legend takes your breath away as he voices words of deep love in verses of song.The classic Al Green song "Let's Stay Together" is filled with the desparation of a man in love unwilling to give up on love. Sinead O'Conner blew our minds with "Nothing Compares 2 U" finding the love of a lifetime. Dolly Parton may have been the first to write and sing "I Will Always Love You" But Whitney Houston took it to a whole 'nother' level of undying love. Rhianna's "Diamond In the Sky" really strikes a chord with me.

    The list of love songs go on and on about love lost, love found, enduring love, yearning for love, and the need to be loved. Humans love love. We desire love. But I ask the question, what kind of LOVER are you? I came across a beautiful poem which delves into a DIFFERENT type of love. A love many of us never thinks about. Indulge me for a moment please as I go into the world of religious LOVE

MY FRIEND

I stand in Judgement now,
And feel that you are to blame somehow.
On earth I walked with you day by day,
And never did YOU point the way.
YOU knew the Lord in truth and glory,
But never did you tell ME the story.
My knowledge then was very SLIM,
YOU could have led me safe to Him.
Though we lived together on earth,
YOU never told me of the SECOND birth.
And now I stand this day condemned,
Because YOU failed to mention HIM.
YOU taught me many things, that's true,
I called YOU "friend" and trusted you.
But learn now that it's too late,
YOU could have kept me from this fate.
We walked by day and talked by night,
And yet YOU showed me not the Light.
YOU let me live, and love, and die,
YOU knew I'd never live on high.
Yes, I called you a "friend" in life,
And trusted YOU through joy and strife.
And yet on coming to the end,
I cannot, NOW, call YOU, "My Friend."

WHAT KIND OF LOVE IS THIS AND HOW IS THIS LOVE DEFINED?

LOVE= unselfish, benevolent, concern for others (1Corinthians 13:4-7 charity). To love God supremely and others unselfishly are the 2 most important commands of Jesus (Matthew 22:37-40). Christ's death was the supreme expression of love (John 13:1 and 15:13).

AGAPE= A Greek word for selfless love, the type of love which characterizes God. If we are made in his own image, we should have his characteristics. Agape is primarily an ACT OF THE WILL rather than the EMOTIONS (John 3:16 and Romans 5:8). Agape love is the GREATEST and most enduring of ALL CHRISTIAN VIRTUES (1 Corinthians 13). Agape love for others is a badge of discipleship (John 13:34-35).

    Notice God says there are outward signs of His people. Is love an outward sign of love or a type of badge? Does it speak to the world? Are we not His disciples, His children? Police wear badges. They have to show their badge so you will know they are who they say they are. They are given the authority to use their job description. Are you flashing your badge of authority, your job description of love?

    Now that we have the definition of love, we now have the knowledge of love. What we are lacking at this point is the WISDOM of love. Wisdom is when you take the KNOWLEDGE you have and use it. So now we come to the question: "What kind of lover are you?" We should love God, ourselves, and others as we love ourselves. There is no command to leave anyone out. FORGIVENESS helps us to accomplish loving others as we love ourselves.

1. ARE YOU A STINGY LOVER? Do you designate how much you are willing to love someone? How long you are willing to love someone? Do you give yourself wholly to the love experience or are you half into it making the person work for your love? Do you pick who is or is not worthy of your love?

2. ARE YOU A PRIDEFUL LOVER? Do you pat yourself on your own back, praising yourself for how wonderful you are at showing love to others? Do you bother to check and see with the recipient of your love if they are being loved in the way they need to be loved? Your definition of love can be totally different from someone elses.

3. ARE YOU AN ABUSIVE LOVER? Are you loving someone grudgingly? Are you giving love only when someone else is looking? Do you with-hold love to get people to behave the way you want them to? Do you neglect yourself or people closest to you, but have an abundance of love for a stranger? Do you hold grudges? Does someone have to ask or beg you for your love?

4. ARE YOU A WISHY-WASHY LOVER? Are people afraid to approach you because the don't know what they may run into day by day or hour by hour? Are some days easier for you to show love and other days difficult? God wants consistency, not double mindedness.

    The type of lover you are does not have to be dependent on whetehr you are a Christian or not.

WE SAY WE HAVE THE LOVE OF GOD IN US BUT.....

    We have children we don't minister to or make disciples of Christ equipping them to lead others by sharing the gospel. We do not lay hands on them and pray for them. We leave prayer for our children to the school and then become angry when the institution fails to pray. We try to give our children everything their hearts desire except the gift of eternal life with God. Remember, whether you are religious or not, the philosophy of love you instill in your children matter.

    We love our sisters, brother, parents, and yet we don't invite them to church with us or live Godly examples of joy and peace so that they can see God through us. We tell them what we don't and can't do because we are Christians, not exampling Jesus among those who needed him most. As Christians, it is about what we are WILLING to do to show the love of Christ. Christian or not, the way you treat family members matter. 

We love OURSELVES, yet do not do what is in our own best interest: pray, love, spread the gospel, have faith through deeds, read the word of God, study the word of God because it is life and light, and be obedient to His will. Nowadays, people have to reminded to love themselves. Some of the biggest wounds people have to recover from, are making bad decisions which hurt themselves. 

We say we love God. To love God is to be obedient and to be holy as He is holy. To love yourself is to do what is good for yourself and humankind.

    We need to pray and ask God to bring us to this level of agape love. It may not happen over night, but a willing heart accomplishes much through the grace of God. Romans 13:8 "OWE no man anything, but to love one another; for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the Law." If you do not pray, come to some knowledge that love, beyound love relationships, are important. 

WHAT KIND OF LOVER ARE YOU?

Don't forget to buy my book, When Will Eve Be Forgiven? Which is all about loving yourself as a woman. PLEASE like, share, comment, and follow my blog. I need you.

STOP Eating With The Enemy (HATERS)

     

One of the catch phrases of the 21st Century is about the "HATER." People complain of having haters or about how others are haters. There is a duality to this 'HATER' business. On one hand people are COMPLAINING about having someone hating them because of their looks or their possession while on the other hand are PROUD to have haters because of their looks or possessions. It has given rise to Facebook pages with titles such as "If You Have Haters, You Must Be Doing Something Right." The phrase (Player Hater) first surfaced in the late 1990s, as hip-hop was becoming mainstream. It was popularized by Notorious B.I.G. "Player Hater was the term given to those who work against or criticize the make-it-by-any-means-necessary ethos of a successful rapper or any successful person."

The phrase was eventually shortened to Hater,  encompassing "anyone who criticized — even constructively — a person's SUCCESS or business practices." Today, it just means ANYONE talking about you.

    Whenever you have someone riding both sides of a fence, loving and hating haters, there is CHAOS and that is just what this HATER-ism of the 21st Century has introduced. You don't know whether it's a compliment or if you should feel sorry for those 'PROCLAIMING' to have haters or to be hated on. I do notice that those being hated on seem to be in a lot of DRAMA all of the time. 

    No one owns up to the fact that they ENJOY drama in their lives. Social media posts state they don't pay haters any attention, it doesn't matter who does or do not like them, they protect their energy from negative people, they are use to being treated badly by bad people, and Karma will handle haters because rotten fruit falls from a tree on its own. All of this is said, yet, endless posts about people mistreating the poster are posted. My answer to those HATED by many LOVED by few: stop eating with any and every body. DON'T BREAK BREAD WITH YOUR ENEMY. 

    This expression, to break bread with others, means more than just eating; it is sharing a sense of brotherhood with someone or some group of people. And it includes, coworkers, boyfriends who are not REALLY boyfriends, cousins, aunts, girlriends who aren't REAL girlfriends. You GET IT. People you know or even your gut KNOWS do not wish the best for you behind your back and for some of you who be keeping good COMPANY with yoor ENEMY, they don't wish you the best to your face.

     Breaking bread, EATING food, whether a snack or a feast is a significant event that fosters some meaningful connection and cooperation. Connections can be POSITIVE or NEGATIVE. You are agreeing to cooperate with people you eat with in a positive or negative way. EATING TOGETHER HAS SIGNIFICANCE AND MEANING ON MANY LEVELS.

    Perhaps you are enemies; breaking bread with someone indicates a sense of forgiveness and moving forward from the offense. It indicates treatment of those eating together is ACCEPTABLE. It indicates APPROVAL of how those you eat with treat you. It is even written in the Christian Bible WHO TO EAT WITH. 

    The importance of who Christians eat with is addressed in 1 Cor. 5:11-12 "But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat." People are looking for signs from the heavens to answer prayers for peace and less pain in life. Don't eat with people who don't make you feel good, special, or worthy, let alone who are envious, jealous, and/or abusive, towards you. WHY? Family or not. You bond over bread (eating) and become (mirror) each other in ways on a spriritual level. That's why the Bible has a passage dedicated to who not to eat with. This warning is for TWO people who claim to be Christians. It is expected for the SINNER to be sinful, but not someone professing to follow Christ. So, you would be dining with a liar. Or you many be the liar. Or both/all of you are liars. 

    Revelation 21:8 But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.” One of the seven deadly sins God hates is a lying tongue (Proverbs 6:16-17). Here is why God hates lying. A person who lies hates the individual they are lying to (Proverbs 26:28). And if you hate another human being, God views the hater as a murderer (1 John 3:15; 1 John 4:20). God hates the sin of lying because it is deceptive. Liars=Hate. Hate=Lies. 21st Century is filled with liars (haters). Don't break bread with them to avoid becoming like them, or consumed by them. Don't INGEST what they are putting out during FEEDING time. You will acquire a taste for the detastable before long. 

    In a mind-body connection, what we do with our physical body such as what we eat, what we take in through touch, taste, and/or hearing, can impact our mental state positively or negatively. This results in a complex interrelationship between our minds and bodies we have failed to give enough weight to in our daily lives. 

     The famous Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev says there is a transfer of energy from one person to the next from hugs and mere handshakes and that is why many people prefer the slight bow instead of physical touch with others. The Guru also warns to be cautious when accepting water, salt, food, and even soil from the hands of others. Instead, only pick up these items others have offered after they have been set down. Not from hand to hand. Here is a link to one such video. 100% DANGEROUS | NEVER HUG AND HANDSHAKE ANYONE | SADHGURU - YouTube

    Science has proven that families that eat together have children less likely to get into trouble and have stronger family bonds. The kitchen has been called the heart of a home. People say the best way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Paul considered breaking bread so important that he said do not eat with fellow Christians who are not living according to God's word. Here are 6 positives eating together can have in bold. I will show how the positive can become a negative following the bold sentence.

1. They encourage attachment. You attach to people with BAD character

2. They promote good behavior. Their back stabbing, gossiping, and two-facedness becomes your behavior

3. Family dinner encourages conversation. Sitting around laughing and talking about others and their situations for enjoyment or to make yourself seem/feel better.

4. They promote adjustment. Never break generational curses just continue to do what all around you continue to do. Complaining becomes normal.

5. Family dinners establish confidence. Only speak when there is something wrong or only to point out faults of others. Look at only problems, ugliness, stress, strife. Only having dysfunctional behavior as an example.

6. They help your child/person learn manners. Unable to dine OUT due to lack of skills in public places around unfamiliar faces. Not modeled by your circle.

    Food and its symbolic meanings play an enormous psychological role in our lives; the consumption of food both defines and nurtures the relationships that people form with others. 

    Studies show that  20% of meals are eaten in the car and 25% of people in America eat at least one fast-food meal each day. Below are some positives associated with eating together as a family Why Eating Together Improves Our Mental Health - Origins Family Counseling

 Community – As people share meals together they share customs of their culture and their heritage.  Oftentimes, stories are shared over a meal that connect people with each other’s worlds.  One study suggests that children are more apt to know about their family history as a result of sharing meals.  These same children were shown to have closer relationships with family members, increased self-esteem, and more sense of control over their own lives.

Sharing a meal together has also been shown to increase the secretion of oxytocin, more commonly referred to as “the love hormone” or the “cuddle hormone”.  This hormone, when secreted, increases feelings of love and closeness between humans.  So, eating together causes a physiological response that draws people  to one another.  The release of oxytocin is known to aid in the digestion of foods as well!

Emotional Intelligence – Neurobiological research has shown that the secretion of oxytocin affects the regulation of the limbic system, which is the part of our brain that controls emotion.  When two people interact with one another, something happens in the brain which Allan Schore refers to as co-regulation.  The hormones that are released affect the expression of genes contributing to the development of empathy and control of aggression.  The neurons that are activated when we interact with others are referred to as mirror neurons.  This explains why we feel the pain of others.

When we choose to bond together over a meal with another person, we are making key connections in our brain that help us regulate our emotion.

Decreased Risk of Substance Abuse in Teens – There is a widely cited study done by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Colombia University.  Their 2012 findings revealed that in families who ate five to seven meals together each week, teens were less likely to engage in use of marijuana, alcohol, and tobacco than families who ate fewer than three meals per week together.  The findings of the study can be seen on their 2012 Family Dinner Report.

    Those who eat socially more often feel happier and are more satisfied with life, are more trusting of others, are more engaged with their local communities, and have more friends they can depend on for support. This is if the PEOPLE you eat WITH are those who you trust with your mind, body, and spirit. What does eating with people who mean you harm on some level do for you? YOU GOT IT. Make you unhappy, less satisfied with life, less trusting, less engaged in your local community, and are LESS people you can depend on for support of any kind.

    Potential benefits can be identified at three different levels: communal, networking, and personal. These can be identified, respectively, with (a) building wider community and inter-community relationships, usually on a large scale but at infrequent intervals (‘feasting’ in the more conventional sense), (b) making and reinforcing (i.e. servicing) friendship and family relationships, usually on a modest scale and at more frequent (perhaps even daily) intervals and (c) at the personal level in terms of health benefits. If you eat with the enemy or HATERS you are building your community, network of friends, and your close INTIMATE circle out of people who don't mean you well. You don't HAVE to EAT with such people. You may have to be AROUND them, but don't eat with them. Only eat with those who love, support, and adore you. 

     There is now considerable evidence, for example, to suggest that the size and quality of one’s social network has very significant consequences for one’s health, susceptibility to illness (and even death), wellbeing and happiness. We also know that activities such as laughter, singing and dancing all lead to an enhanced sense of bonding towards those with whom one does these activities, mainly because they trigger the endorphin system in the brain that underpins primate social bonding. Since endorphins are involved in the control of feeding, the very fact of eating might itself trigger the endorphin system and promote bonding, and doing so socially may lead to the same kind of enhanced endorphin effects from behavioural synchrony that have been noted in physical exercise. Hence, people who eat often with others might be expected to have larger social networks and be happier and more satisfied with their lives, as well as being more engaged with their communitiesBreaking Bread: the Functions of Social Eating - PMC (nih.gov) 

    If you want to be happy? EAT with happy people. Want to be successful? EAT with successful people. Want to be loving, kind, considerate? EAT with loving, kind, considerate people. Want to be miserable? EAT with miserable people. Want to be negative? EAT with negative people. YOU GOT IT.

       There are so many things in life a person can not change and other people is the number one thing a person cannot change. But, a person can change SELF. The practice of INTAKE. What you take into you body through various access points can be LIFE CHANGING. Practice being mindful who you break bread with.