The LOVE of Roses

So, you made it through Mother's Day I am assuming. You did your due diligence and picked mom a special gift which made her smile. WHAT A WONDERFUL CHILD YOU ARE.

No one was smiling more than florists filling thousands of bouquet orders of flowers on Mother's Day. And the number one flower people wanted to give mom was the ROSE. Roses are not just the go-to flower to give to your mother, it is the go-to flower for most gift giving to a loved one or person of interest. The rose spans many occasions of celebration. Oh, by the way, Kenya is smiling too. Commercial rose growing in Kenya goes back decades. The country is famous for its vibrantly colored blooms. Rich soil and an abundance of sunlight give Kenya’s roses their natural, distinctive hues. 

The flower which represents love has been loved for centuries. Napoleon wife Josephine Bonaparte loved roses. Between 1804 and 1814 Empress Josephine built her rose collection. It was to become the greatest and largest rose collection in the world, unsurpassed until the creation of Sangerhausen in Germany and L’Hay outside Paris, one century later. The collection was made up of about 250 species and varieties. By 1830 some 2500 different rose varieties would be available to Parisian rose lovers, all influenced by Josephine’s zeal for rose collecting. It was also the first time that anyone had had thought to create a garden with only one type of plant.   

I am a Master Gardener, and my great love is the rose. At last count I have 165 roses (not species). That is actually a small number of roses for a rose enthusiast. I am slowly becoming comfortable calling myself a Rosarian. I am a member of several Rose Lovers Facebook groups. I love roses and I am not alone. 

People love roses for their beauty, symbolism, cultural significance, exclusivity, and association with special occasions. Roses have been around for over 35 million years and are a staple in the wedding world. Red roses are associated with love, passion, and longing, and have been used in romantic gestures and rituals since ancient times.

People have been giving roses to each other since the 17th century as a way to express love. Roses are the favorite flower of Venus, the Greek goddess of love, and are often used to represent strong emotions. The Victorians also used bouquets of flowers to communicate feelings through a messaging system called "floriography," and roses became a symbol of romantic affection.

Various religions have long used roses as symbols of religious belief. In ancient Greece, the rose was a symbol of Aphrodite. It was also part of the Egyptian myth of Isis. More modern religions still use the rose symbolically. The rose is a repeated leitmotif of Judaism that symbolizes both Israel and royalty. Jewish people are also compared with roses in the Bible. After the rise of Christianity, the rose became heavily linked with the image of the Virgin Mary. Some Catholic sects place crowns made of roses on statues of the Virgin Mary during different religious holidays. Islam also incorporates these flowers into its symbology.

Whether you realized it or not, the color of rose you chose to buy and give to your loved one has meaning. Roses are filled with meaning and superstition. Me personally, have made it a point when I was in the dating arena to tell men who showed interest in me that I preferred NOT to be gifted roses. For me, receiving roses was an intimate thing and I wanted to steer clear of possibly sending the wrong signal to a man whom I had not yet declared MY love to. Plus, I wanted him to be a little more thoughtful about the flowers he bought me as a gift. Roses were such an easy go to. Roses did all of the work for him. 

Let's look at what the color of roses means first.

For example, blue roses symbolize mystery. This is not a naturally occurring color for roses but rose growers remain on a quest to create a true blue rose. There are several roses named as a blue rose such as the rose named Blue Girl, Blue Moon rose, Blue Nile, Carding Mill rose, Rainy Blue, Rhapsody in Blue, Suntory Blue Rose Applause, and Shocking Blue. Yellow roses are ideal to give away to friends.  In the past, the yellow rose was associated with jealousy or infidelity. Yellow roses used to stand for unfaithfulness, so giving a bouquet of yellow roses to your romantic partner would lead to fights and eventual break up. Nowadays, we see this rose as meaning strength, friendship and cherishing. 

Orange roses are for joy. Green roses represent strength and fertility. Oddly, there are several true green roses: Green Tea, Mayra’s Green, Jade, Super Green, Lemonade. I don't like green roses. Leaves are green. Why would I want a flower bloom to be green?

The symbolism of the elegant white rose is trust, innocence, purity, loyalty, respect, and also a fitting gift for a fresh start or a farewell. The white rose is also a symbol of remembrance. The white rose is very popular in the bridal bouquet and also suits farewell and memories. In addition, a bouquet of white roses is perfect for new business customers, for a housewarming party or of course the beginning of a new love.

Red roses are known worldwide as the symbol of love and romance. With red roses, you really give a feeling or emotion to someone else. So red roses are ideal to give to your partner on, for example, a wedding day, Valentine's Day or other special occasion. The rose has many options for giving red roses to someone. So, you have bouquets of 100 red roses for a very impressive gift, but you can also order your number of roses in a bouquet of, say, 33 red roses, for a birthday or wedding anniversary.

The message that the purple rose wants to send out is 'Love at first sight'. So, it's not that only red roses do well on Valentine's Day, also purple roses fit perfectly with the feeling of enchantment and desire.

Pink roses also have multiple meanings. For instance, you can use these roses if you are grateful to someone for something and they want to show their gratitude with these roses. Furthermore, pink roses also represent desire and are for thanksgiving. 

Now for a few superstitions regarding flowers in general and gifting them. Hopefully, you didn't break any superstitions on Mother's Day or at any other time when gifting flowers.

• Red and white: Some say that sending a combination of red and white flowers to someone who is sick can bring misfortune or even death.
• Odd numbers: Some say that giving someone an odd number of flowers is lucky, while even numbers are for the dead and may bring bad luck.
• White carnations: In Russia, white carnations are said to take away talent and good luck.
• Withered flowers: Some say that flowers that fade in the house bring good news, so you should keep them for a few days.
• Before a performance: Some say that it is bad luck to give flowers to someone before they go out to perform on stage, and instead you should wait until after.

It is said that roses are planted near someone’s grave to protect their soul from evil spirits. 

Seeing a white rose bloom in autumn signifies an early marriage. 

Throwing rose leaves into a fire is said to bring good luck.

Where roses are concerned, different cultures have different beliefs about giving roses. Most people view a rose as innocent and just a very pretty flower. In certain countries, you can run into awkward situations if you are not up on you understanding of roses.

In America, more often than any other flower, we hold the rose dear as the symbol of life and love and devotion, of beauty and eternity. For the love of man and woman, for the love of mankind and God, for the love of country, Americans who would speak the language of the heart do so with a rose. We see proofs of this everywhere.

In Hungary, roses are actually a popular funeral flower. While they still retain the classic rose symbolism of love and even romance in that context, they tend to represent one’s undying love for a lost friend, spouse, or relative – so they may not be the most appropriate gift for a first date in Budapest.

Roses are also funeral flowers in Mexico, but here it’s a matter of choosing the color carefully. Yellow roses symbolize death in traditional Mexican culture, so it’s not a good idea to show up for a date or a fiesta with a yellow bouquet. This is just one of many rules of thumb for giving roses in Mexico. If you’re giving red roses in Mexico, you’d better be serious! These beauties are loaded with meaning – two, in fact. In terms of romance, they profess grand, undying love. They also stir up superstitions of magic and spell casting. Purple roses symbolize witchcraft and casting spells too, so there are plenty of ways to infuse rose-giving with some high drama.

South Koreans take rose-giving in a different direction by making these lovely blooms a coming-of-age symbol. Every May, on Coming-of-Age Day, South Koreans have a giant party celebrating all the young people turning 20 that year, at which the birthday boys and girls (men and women?) exchange gifts, including bouquets of roses – typically red.

The Finnish have also adopted the rose as a symbol of appreciation between friends. In fact, every February 14, the Finnish swap the traditional Valentine’s Day for the more inclusive Friend’s Day, a custom that started in the 1980s and hasn’t gone anywhere since. In that spirit, the Finnish celebrate Friend’s Day by exchanging cards, candy, and pink roses.

In Catalonia, Saint George Day is celebrated with roses. Legend has it that St. George, your typical knight in shining armor, saved both a town and a princess by slaying a dragon who’d taken up residence nearby. When the dragon fell, roses sprang up from where its blood had spilled – and now every April 23, Catalonians give each other red roses to symbolize St. George’s valiance and sacrifice.

Cut flowers are traditionally for funerals in China. In this case, both yellow and white roses represent death. White, furthermore, symbolizes bad luck. Numbers are highly symbolic in Chinese culture, and influence flower-giving in many ways. The number 14, for example, means imminent death, so a bouquet of 14 roses would not be well received. But recently a modern-day fairy tale and a magical number gave red roses renewed significance in Chinese romantic culture.

Taiwan’s Valentine’s Day rose traditions take that symbolism to the next level. When V Day rolls around, rose bouquets are bought in specific numbers to send particular messages to crushes and loved ones. A single rose symbolizes one-and-only love. 11 roses are given to a “special someone.” 99 roses are given to someone you’ll love for eternity. 108 roses = “Will you marry me?”

 I know my love affair with roses will only deepen as time marches on. It would be difficult for me to say which color of rose is my favorite. I just love roses. Now that I am married, I enjoy receiving roses and my husband doesn't have to be concerned about the color he chooses. But for the rose gift giver, taking the time to understand the meaning behind the flower and color of the flower can score you big points or lead to big misunderstandings.

Mothers Are The "Great Teacher"

 With Mother's Day just around the corner, my thoughts began to turn to all of the things I do and have done for my children and family in general as a mother. I see all of the fuzzy feelings and tender-hearted commercials trying to tell children what the perfect gift for mom would be. But is there an appropriate gift to give the one who gives their all?

I thought about Jesus and how he laid his life down for humanity so they could have a shot at eternal life. The giving of himself so fully for others - others never met yet whom he was willing to die for. Moms are not up there with Jesus, but there is no other example of a person giving their all, including their life for someone they love, than a mother.

I must admit there are some terrible mothers out there. There is not a hallmark card for them though. It isn't an easy job. but, even with their imperfections; their children love them deeply. So, for me to say 'there are some terrible moms' would be too flippant, judgmental, and downright horrible. So, I will separate the less than perfect mom, my category, from criminal moms. 

I love listening to the commercials encouraging people to adopt. They target in on the fact that you do not have to be cool, a rocket scientist, or child psychologist to be a loving person willing to adopt a child needing to be loved.

I wanted to take the time to appreciate those who are in this institution of motherhood, adoptive mom. Raising a child with shared DNA is one thing, but choosing to raise a child with the same amount of love and dedication who does not share any familial connection, is epic. A mother's love knows no bounds.

Mothers are the TEACHERS of the world. They fill this position sometimes with little or no training. It is simpler to answer the question what a mother doesn't teach than what does she teach. Even for men who cannot tolerate being under the authority of a woman began their lives being under the authority of a woman, his mother. He was once shaped and molded by a woman.

Mothers do not have a standard checklist in which they tick off all of the things they successfully teach their children. Maybe it would help in child rearing if they did. But one teaching mothers have let slip by the wayside is teaching their sons and daughters HOW to be a spouse. This is evident with people looking for or in a relationship wanting to be a POWER COUPLE, forgetting what MARRIAGE is truly about. You may ask if it is an actual duty of a mother to teach her child how to be a spouse and the answer is YES.

Titus 2:1–5 in the Bible says, "You, however, must teach what is appropriate to sound doctrine. Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God".

In this passage we see older women are supposed to carry themselves in a certain way and in turn teach younger women to do the same. In this teaching of how an older woman is supposed to live is the teaching of the younger woman how to be a wife and MOTHER (young men should be taught also how to be a husband and father).

I'm sure since there is wording regarding being SUBMISSIVE to the husband and doing housework, women prefer to not acknowledge this Bible passage. Whether the passage is embraced or not, being a spouse/mother is something that should be TAUGHT and not done by the seat of the pants. If children were being taught marriage and parenthood can be rewarding and what each is supposed to look like when healthy, then maybe today's nuclear family structure would not be threatened. We groom our children for careers and income but not how to be spouses and parents. Why should it be taught in the case of women? Because a mother becomes a GREAT TEACHER. It would seem it falls to the father to make sure the son learns how to be a husband and father but remember who the primary teacher in the home is. And sons definitely need to be taught how to be a good husband and father the entirety of their childhood.

Teachers in the American educational system state with just cause that they are underpaid for their work in teaching the future of America and underappreciated. Likewise, a mother, the FOREVER teacher is not comparably compensated for her work and her contribution to society is woefully underappreciated. 

Sometimes motherhood is a thankless position of late hours and few seeable benefits. But, upon reflection it turns out to be filled with benefits. Nothing can ever compare to that first whiff of innocence/newness I inhaled the first time I held each of my daughters for the first time. That was priceless. All of the funny faces they made at new discoveries made me smile. The laughter that tickled my ears at the simplest of things they found to be hilarious, and I had long ago taken for granted, made me smile. I have memories filled with smiles. If I were offered millions for my mother memories, I would turn it down. So, to all of the mothers out there; happy Mother's Day from me.

No matter what your mothering style is, preparing your child for marriage and parenthood or not, all that you do DO is invaluable. But of course, there is someone who did put a value on it.

According to ZipRecruiter, as of April 30, 2024, the average hourly pay for a stay-at-home mom in the United States is $16.32, and the average hourly pay for a housewife is $22.95. A 2019 survey from Salary.com estimated that the median annual salary for stay-at-home moms is $178,201, which includes traditional roles like housekeeper, dietitian, and day care teacher, as well as newer roles like network administrator, social media communications, and recreational therapist. Not too shabby, eh?

Heather Chrudimsky states that a stay-at-home moms perform many necessary duties, have important responsibilities that serve as the glue in a family/household that keeps it together and running smoothly. Their duties don't run on a 9 to 5 schedule and there is no punch out time. Below is her listing of a mother's duties.

10. Administrative assistant: run errands, answer the phone, pay bills, fill out paperwork, organize and schedule activities,
9. Chef: whether it's breakfast, lunch or dinner. Cooking responsibilities are on the shoulders of the stay-at-home - all while taking care of the kids.
8. Tutor/teacher: Time to bring out the math, science, spelling, etc. skills back out. No matter what the age, homework help is a staple in a stay-at-home mom's day.
7. Chauffeur: Whether it's to school, choir, dance, sports practice, dentist, doctor, friend's house, park, grocery store, etc., stay-at-home moms spend just about as much time in their vehicle as a truck driver.
6. Daycare provider: Kiddos are obviously a stay-at-home mom's top priority. Making sure they are busy, safe and engaged is a constant.
5. Referee: Literally and figuratively. Children fight and it is the job of mom to make sure no one is hurt, and lessons are learned.
4. Doctor/nurse: Band-aids, ointment and mommy kisses - nothing cures a boo-boo better.
3. Psychiatrist: Whether is it helping little ones understand their growing emotions or healing a first broken heart - mom is always there to offer a shoulder to cry on and give advice of course.
2. Maid/homemaker: Just call them domestic divas - name the cleaning chore, stay-at-home moms have done it.
1. Family mascot/boss: Regardless of a family's makeup, moms are the family centerpiece, keeping the family together, making sure everything runs smoothly and keeping everyone happy.

Seems like mothers might need regular vacation time WITH PAY.

For children, whatever you decide to give your mother for Mother's Day; expensive or not, make sure you smother her with 'thank yous' and 'love yous' because this is music to a mother's ears.

The Honeymoon Is Over!

In a new relationship or newly married? Then you are in what people call the "honeymoon phase."

The honeymoon phase is the early stage of a relationship when couples experience intense feelings of love, passion, and excitement. It's characterized by a heightened sense of closeness, infatuation, and carefree happiness. During the honeymoon phase, you might:

• Feel like you want to be with your partner all the time.
• Miss your partner as soon as they leave.
• Feel hopeful about your future together.
• Learn more about each other's personalities.
• Explore your intimacy.
• Have a lot of fun together.

The honeymoon phase can last anywhere from six months to several years. Some couples don't have a honeymoon phase, or their honeymoon phase may be drawn out over time. The honeymoon phase will fade with time, but love should grow with time. The honeymoon phase is exciting because it's too soon to know your partner's full personality, with all its positives and negatives. However, you'll naturally transition out of the honeymoon phase when the realities of life start to creep in, and hard conversations start to bubble to the surface.

We all love the honeymoon phase of relationships when we don't quite realize our chosen one is a flawed, annoying human with red flags blowing in the wind. This made me wonder what the opposite of a honeymoon phase is called. My first thought was the "murder phase" because once you begin noticing how irritating and infuriating you 'loved one' is, the more you feel like murdering them. But the term 'murder phase' does not lead one to believe there was any love at all so that term may be too extreme. But none-the-less, we eventually enter you're on my last nerve, I can't stand you phase if we remain in long-term relationships.

Relationship experts say the prime number years of relationships are often the hardest, such as 1, 3, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, and 29. These years often correspond with significant transitions and pressure points in marriage.

The stages of a relationship have been divided for your easy consumption:

HONEYMOON = Start to 1 year.  You're connecting with someone you find exciting and who finds you exciting. You're eager to learn about them, can't get enough of them, and have all of those passionate feelings that make dating so thrilling. There is so much anticipation, curiosity, nervousness, and wonder.

BACK-TO-REALITY = 1-2 years. This is where things get real in a different way; you'll likely approach topics that are uncomfortable, you'll probably meet each other's friends and/or family, and you might realize some things about each other that possibly annoy you or deserve a conversation.

DECISION MAKING = 2-3 years. Everything is out, exposed, and on the table in this stage of a relationship. You probably know each other's traumas, hang-ups, weaknesses, communication struggles, and most profound needs and fears. It's all out there: You are fully emotionally in the nude. This can be a complicated phase if the relationship feels like it isn't going to work out; it can feel even more painful to lose someone after they have experienced you in all your forms and you've experienced them in all of theirs.

SETTLING DOWN = 3 + years. This part is refreshing because you feel known and have the privilege of truly knowing your partner — it's beautiful and sweet while also being relatively predictable, in a comforting way. The relationship has likely developed its own language for navigating the world together. Of course, this time period won't always be sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns, but it will likely be easier to navigate uncomfortable conversations, situations, and shortcomings because of the years of practiced communication.

These phases or stages are PRE-MARRIAGE, before the murder stage I alluded to. Divorce lawyers, psychologists, and researchers have slotted years of marriage into periods and have rated them based on their risk of divorce:

• Years 1–2: Very Risky.
• Years 3–4: Mild Risk.
• Years 5–8: Very Risky.
• Years 9–15: Low Risk.
• Years 15 and over: Low to Mild Risk.

We all have heard of the seven-year-itch. The seven-year itch, as it’s called, is a term that describe feelings of being restless or dissatisfied in a relationship — typically at that seven-year mark. In 1955, Marilyn Monroe starred in a film called The Seven Year Itch, in which a married man becomes so infatuated with her that he starts planning to cheat on his wife. The man has been reading a psychiatrist’s manuscript, which claims that all men cheat in their seventh year of marriage — which is exactly how long he’s been married. While research outcomes vary somewhat, the percentage of divorces, particularly in first-time marriages, tends to spike around the seven- or eight-year mark.

Of course, by the seven-year mark, partners are well past the honeymoon phase — and issues may have begun to arise. “With added time, marital struggles can include issues like poor communication and listening skills, a lack of empathy, and partners having unrealistic expectations of one another,” Dr. Borland explains. The seventh year of marriage may have symptoms of the 'itch' which includes:

A lack of physical and/or emotional intimacy.

Poor communication

Increased conflict, including arguing, hurtful words or criticism.

Keeping secrets from your partner.

Not spending much or meaningful time together.

Taking one another for granted and/or feeling unappreciated.

A lack of trust.

Fantasizing about infidelity

There may be some truth to the seven-year-itch because when marriages end, usually some time has passed since the wedding. In fact, the average length of a marriage prior to divorce is eight years. Some of the most common reasons for divorce include disagreements over money, infidelity, lack of communication, passive aggressive behavior and more. Other reasons for divorce include longer life expectancy, which may compel older couples to divorce, or the mental and emotional strain that comes with having young children. 

If you make it past year eight, then comes year ten.

“After a decade together, turning into roommates becomes a big risk as partners can slowly over the years take their focus off of each other and give all of their attention to dealing with day-to-day life,” Kurt Smith, a therapist who specializes in counseling men, told HuffPost. “Couples can easily turn into partners in managing a family or life, rather than partners in love.”

Partners can become bored with each other.  Boredom in a marriage is usually a sign that you and your partner have started taking each other ― and the relationship ― for granted, said psychotherapist, Tina Tessina.

Your sex life may fade. A couple's sex life may ebb and flow over the years for any number of reasons: physical or mental health issues, having kids, side effects of certain medications, stress, relationship problems, and sleep issues, among many others. Sex therapists say those dips are totally normal. But if you’re not committed to getting back on track, the sexual dry spells can end up lasting longer and longer, leaving one or both partners feeling rejected and disconnected.

“Many couples sacrifice their dreams in order to maintain stability when initially building a relationship and family,” couples therapist Kari Carroll said. “But by 10 years, they are realizing that life is calling, and they must negotiate how to help both themselves and their partner achieve greater fulfillment.”

“Early on in marriage, we can have a great amount of graciousness with each other as our love for each other makes up for all shortcomings or failures,” Smith said. “Sadly, as a marriage matures, the patience can fade.”

Early on in a relationship, you’ll find any excuse to celebrate: your eight-month anniversary, making it through a tough week of work or National Margarita Day. But as time goes on, those celebrations may become less and less frequent.

There seems like there are several reasons for a marriage, once out of the honeymoon phase, to enter Death Valley. But people have had long lasting marriages. HOW!!

This is what people who have been married for over 25 years have to say:

KEEP THE PEACE. Try not to fight like high schoolers—don’t play games, give the silent treatment, argue over the same things over and over, or bring up past issues in every subsequent fight.

KEEP GROWING. Expect and accept change. No one remains stagnant for twenty-five years, nor should they. You may sometimes feel like you’re with someone different than the person you married long ago. But if basic values, ethics, and morals are the foundation of a person’s character, growth can add to marital satisfaction instead of taking away from it.

STAY FLEXIBLE. Roll with the punches. As this past year has shown, you have to keep reinventing your relationship to withstand what has been thrown at you. Never consider yourself too old to switch up ‘roles’ within the marriage—if you change things up, you’ll have a fresh window into your partner’s life.

SHOW YOUR LOVE. It’s important to do little things on a regular basis to show your love.

DON'T KEEP SCORE. Don’t keep score or rate who does more. A good partner knows when to step in, when to take over and when to encourage you to keep moving forward—not get caught up in keeping tabs. 

KEEP LAUGHING. 

DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF. Remember it’s a marathon, not a sprint, so pace yourself and pick your battles carefully. It’s easy to argue about the silliest of things but does it really matter how the dishwasher gets loaded or the car gets packed before going on a road trip? You come to realize it’s crazy to ruin an evening together or a trip away over stuff like this.

KEEP IT A PARTNERSHIP.

FINISH THE FIGHT. Never go to bed mad at each other—end a fight then and there so nothing carries over into the next day. And don’t lose sight that every couple fights, it’s about how well you move on and process things that matters.

SUPPOERT EACH OTHER'S INTERESTS. Having separate interests is key to a happy marriage. 

REMAIN FRIENDS. For a marriage to be successful, both husband and wife need to view themselves as partners—you are no longer just yourself, you have another half to constantly consider.

ACKNOWLEDGE WHO YOU ARE MARRYING. Be sure you’re marrying your friend. You need to really, really, really like the person you are marrying just the way they are as there’s no changing someone after the fact.

KEEP THE NORTH STAR IN SIGHT. Be determined to see it through—divorce is never an option. Be willing to follow the journey.

Those married people put in a lot of work!! One BIG reason they probably made it to 25 years of marriage and beyond, is they never called or entertained that their marriage was in a 'murder phase." All of the work they put into each other, and marriage was for it to LIVE, not DIE. 

Whether the seven-year-itch is real or not, an itch is just that, an itch. Itches go away even without scratching. Marriages can go well beyond the honeymoon phase with thought and effort. Prime numbers be damned! You picked each other for a reason. They were your ONE. Surely, those 15 annoying things they do, do not outweigh the fact that they chose you and you chose them.

Powerful Manhood

 

Welcome to Leap Year 2024.

Gals get ready. It's your turn. You are allowed to ask that special someone for their hand in marriage.

What is a leap year? To be a leap year, the year number must be divisible by four - except for the end -of-the century years, which must be divisible by 400. This means that the year 2000 was a leap year, although 1900 was not. 2024, 2028, 2032 and 2036 are all leap years. More importantly, it is a year when women are okay'd to propose to men, in theory.

According to new research published by Up at The O2, 11 million Brits say it’s time to abolish the antiquated tradition of men proposing to women. Commissioned ahead of Leap Day (February 29th) - a calendar date that comes round just once every four years - the data shows that nearly one in five women in committed relationships have thought about taking the lead and proposing to their male partners this year. That is in Britain, not everywhere in the world.

Women in Finland are advised to propose only on leap year day, -- Feb. 29 -- for good luck. If her boyfriend should refuse, he is required to pay her a "fine": enough fabric to make a skirt.

In Scotland, an unmarried Queen Margaret allegedly enacted a law in 1288 allowing women to propose on leap-year day. But there was a catch: The proposer had to wear a red petticoat (a skirt under her skirt) to warn her intended that she planned to pop the question. Maybe so he could run!!! Perhaps the most well-known of the leap-year marriage superstitions belongs to Ireland, where, again, women are advised to propose only on Feb. 29 for good luck. 

In America, ever since the feminist revolution of the '70s, cracks have been appearing in that monolith (of men only proposing), and the 2020s may be the decade in which that outdated supposition finally falls. Women proposing to their male partners is nothing new, but still rare. Recent surveys show that in straight married couples, only 5 percent of women proposed. But attitudes are changing, and pretty soon, women may claim equal access to the uniquely heart-fluttering, mouth-drying experience also known as popping the question. A full 70 percent of men would welcome their female partner proposing marriage, a 2015 survey by Glamour found. 

But hold on, There's more to this Leap Year saga. Many believe it is unlucky to get married on a Leap Year or tie the knot on a Leap Day! The Greeks and Italians believe that marrying on a leap day will lead to bad luck. The Greeks believe that most marriages celebrating the anniversary will lead to divorce. As for the Italians, leap year is reportedly when women are erratic.

Fellas, The Chinese are not on your side in dodging Leap Year 2024. 2024 will be celebrated as the ‘Year of the Wood Dragon’. The positive qualities of wood (like growth and flexibility), combined with the inspiring traits of the mythical animal ensure that 2024 will be filled with opportunities for personal growth, happiness and fortune. Year of the Wood Dragon is particularly great for forging strong bonds and lasting love.

There are a couple of reasons why 2024 is the luckiest year to get married, as per chinese zodiac. Firstly 2024 (2+0+2+4) adds up to 8 – a number which symbolises infinite love between husband and wife. Secondly, 2024 is a leap year, which is considered prosperous for couples tying the knot. Lastly, it’s a bliss to tie the knot in 2024 as it falls on a Saturday. Saturdays are considered to be the most popular day of the week to get married as they’re blessed by Saturn – the planet of commitment and marriage. SORRY.

Where did all of this Leap Year stuff begin? Bachelor's Day, sometimes known as Ladies' Privilege, is an Irish tradition by which women are allowed to propose to men on Leap Day, 29 February, based on a legend of Saint Bridget and Saint Patrick. It once had legal basis in Scotland and England. I'm sure men headed to the hills when the calander had the infamous Leap Year.

Even with such history behind Leap Year, men don't like it. From 1904 into the 1960s, shame and ridicule made it difficult for women to take advantage of the opportunity to propose to men. Critics held that women who asked men to marry them were desperate, aggressive, and unfeminine." In an age of increasing equality for women, it would seem that offering special permission to propose once every four years would be laughable at best, and insulting at worst.

The question I asked was, "When were men given sole power to decide and determine when to get married?" There IS a reason recorded as to WHY a man gets down on one knee to propose. It's a tradition dating back to medieval times when a knight dropped to one knee as a sign of respect for royalty. Proposing on “bended knee” is a show of respect for a future bride and the act also signifies loyalty and devotion.

There is a history of getting ENGAGED. The modern Western form of the practice of giving or exchanging engagement rings is traditionally thought to have begun in 1477 when Maximilian I, Holy Roman Emperor, gave Mary of Burgundy a diamond ring as an engagement present. 

There is a REASON the father of the intended bride is asked for his permission to marry his daughter. A man asking a woman's father for her hand in marriage was establishedm from the anachronistic notion that women were once considered property. In fact, even if couples were marrying for love, women were considered to be under the control of men and needed permission from their fathers to leave the family home.

 There's a history of the first RECORDED marriage. Most couples didn't marry because they were in love, but rather for economic liaisons. According to The Week, the institution of marriage is over 4,350 years old. The first recorded marriage took place in 2350 B.C. in Mesopotamia.

There is a biblical explaination for WHY people would get married. Companionship is the first purpose of marriage..marriagemm mmmama marriage. Genesis2:18, the Lord said it wasn't good for man to be alone. God designed marriage so that man and woman could have a close relationship. And least we forget, marriage was given the purpose to be fruitful and multiply. “And God blessed them. And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth’” (Genesis 1:28).

There is no history I found, which answers concretely why men have the domain of being the one to extend an offer of marriage. But there is a logical answer.

From the earliest history, women were not the ones who had wealth. Men were workers and earned income. Property and money were passed down to sons in the family unit. Women did not own property or work jobs which allowed them the ability to care for themselves financially. Even though there is an adage about 'purse strings,' which is definitely feminine, men controlled the money for centuries.

The famous line spoken by the character Blanche Dubois, in A Streetcar Named Desire, said "Whoever you are—I have always depended on the kindness of strangers,"sums up the plight of women in the past. Their lives DEPENDED on a man choosing 'them' to marry. Women have done everything imagineable in attempts to secure security through marriage. In essence, women competed against each other fiercely to obtain the best marriage proposals from men of financial means.

Even after women were allowed to own property and not be in the catagory OF property, the tradition of the man proposing stuck. In modern times, marriage is no longer viewed as necessary to being fruitful and multiplying nor for companionship.

I titled this post as Powerful Manhood because, part of men living into manhood is being a provider, protector, and procreator. Manhood is demonstrated best in RELATIONSHIPS in having someone to provide for, protect, and procreate with. The GENESIS MAN, a term I have coined, was instructed in the Christian Bible to 1) leave his parent's house, 2) find a companion (to bring to his own established home), and 3) have children (not out of wedlock). That is powerful manhood. 

Men still hold the power when it comes to proposing, Leap Year or not. It is a big step when he does propose and should not be taken lightly. I hope every man enters ther proposal with the mindset of POWERFUL MANHOOD.

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