Showing posts with label Motherhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Motherhood. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 23, 2024

Childless Voters and Kamala Harris

WHAT MAKES A WOMAN A WOMAN? Often when this question is posed, the answer sought goes beyond the defining two X chromosomes of biology. Comments JD Vance made in 2021 questioning Vice President Kamala Harris' leadership because she did not have biological children have resurfaced with all its original IGNORANCE. The now Vice-Presential running mate of former President Donald Trump, posed, during a Fox News interview while he was running for senate in Ohio, “How does it make any sense that we've turned our country over to people who don't really have a direct stake in it?" He was referring to women without children. His logic was, if a person is childless, they cannot be interested in the future of America and should not have a hand in it's shaping.

Vance went on in the Fox interview to say, “We are effectively run in this country via the Democrats," and referred to them as "a bunch of childless cat ladies who are miserable at their own lives and the choices that they’ve made and so they want to make the rest of the country miserable, too." He said that included Harris, U.S. Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg (who is now a married father) and U.S. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, a New York Democrat.

Originality is not a strong suit of Mr. Vance because men have been going beyond the XX chromosome in efforts to "box" women into definitions they themselves do not apply to manhood. In 2017, the leaders of the top industrialized nations met in Sicily, Italy, for the annual Group of Seven summit, and that year, most of them were united by their lack of offsprings. Five of the seven national leaders attending the G-7 summit did not have biological children. British Prime Minister Theresa May, Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe and Italian Prime Minister Paolo Gentiloni have no children. German Chancellor Angela Merkel has two stepsons, and French President Emmanuel Macron has three stepchildren. Were any of the leadership skills of the men who were not fathers questioned? NO.

For centuries, women have been made to feel less of a woman if they were unable to have children. As women entered the workforce and began to have careers, they were shamed if they chose not to have children. A man did not face any such judgement and most times was glorified for being an advanced-aged bachelor, without any children. His advanced age did not detract from his manhood as did society's belief once a woman reached menopause or had to have a medical hysterectomy takes her out of womanhood.

While in Seminary in 2005, in a Marriage and Family Counseling class, the question was posed, "Can a woman who CHOOSES not to have children or who are unable to have children be a Christian?" The question was asked based on a biblical verse written by the Apostle Paul, in 1 Timothy 2:15, "Women will be saved through childbearing." "Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control." My instructor answered saying, no. If a woman does not have children, they will not be saved and cannot be a Christian. Needless to say, this is an erroneous, dangerous misinterpretation of the passage. I will not dissect the TRUE meaning of the passage along with its content here. I tackle this teaching in my book, When Will Eve be Forgiven? Remember, Kamala Harris said context is important. Believe me, it is a false teaching of this Bible verse. But, nonetheless, men feel free to base the quality of a woman and/or her life based on childbearing. 

The ability or inability of a woman to have children or her CHOICE not to have children has been WEAPONIZED against a woman in ways not used against men. For JD Vance to say a person cannot be a person invested in their country if they do not have children demonstrates his low opinion of women reducing them to baby manufacturing machines. I'm certain Christians will insert the be fruitful and multiply Bible verse here found in Genesis. They fail to note the command to multiply means those professing Christianity are not to limit or impede the number of children conceived in a Christian marriage. How many children does the Christian family have on average? 

According to Pew Research Center, the average Christian household has 4.5 people globally. In 2017, the Pew Research Center also reported that Christian women have an average of 2.6 children, which is second only to Muslims, who have the highest fertility rate among major religious groups. However, fertility rates have declined across Christian denominations in the United States, from 2.7 children in 1972 to 2.3 in 2016. Liberal nondenominational movements have a fertility rate of around 1.8–1.9, which is roughly what they need for stability. Conservative nondenominational movements, however, have a fertility rate of around 1.9, which is much higher than the 0.8 they need to grow. Didn't see that one coming, did you?

If we are to follow JD Vance's reasoning, then what about childless voters not seeking public office? Do they have a stake in the direction of their country? Should they be allowed to vote? Does he want WOMEN to show up at the voting booth with their children's birth certificate certifying/proving they have a stake in our country's government? Are childless women to be rejected as voters?

What is the fascination and preoccupation with the reproductive organs of women the Right have? A man came up with the theory of Penis Envy. Penis envy is a theory from early psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud. He believed that when female children realize they lack a penis, they feel "castrated" in comparison to males. It may be that MEN in the 21st Century are having uterus envy and become highly upset if we have one and don't use it like they would (Yeah. right.). I'm just saying.

The definition of womanhood is too complex to nail down due to the fact it can't be summed up with a few simple words due to the fact of the wondrous adaptability of women and their multitasking ability. Women have never been limited and should not be limited in any of their endeavors if they are childless and most definitely should not be maligned for it. It's time for men to stop waving around a woman's reproductive choices as some kind of apocalyptic warning. Their blue pill should be taken so they can have a seat.

When it comes to votes, Vance may lose a few due to his statement about childless women. In 2020, about 44.7 percent of Black women were childless in the United States. A little less than half of all women in the United States were childless in that year, coming in at 46.8 percent of the female population.

There is no shame for Kamala Harris. She belongs to an elite list of people who have contributed positively to their community, state, and country in various ways without having biological children.

  1. Herbert Samuel Adams Sculptor
  2. Scott Adams
  3. Cartoonist, Dilbert
  4. Charles Addams
  5. Cartoonist, The New Yorker
  6. Nancy Addison Soap Opera Actress
  7. Louisa May Alcott Author of Little Women
  8. Cynthia May Westover Alden Author, Philanthropist
  9. Grover Cleveland Alexander Baseball Player
  10. Suzy Allegra Author
  11. Marty Allen Comedian
  12. John Murray Anderson Musical Theatre Producer
  13. Laurie Anderson Performance Artist
  14. Marian Anderson Concert Singer
  15. Louis Andriessen Composer
  16. Susan B. Anthony Womans' Suffragist
  17. Samuel Appleton Politician/ Philanthropist
  18. Louis Armstrong Musician
  19. Boris Artzybasheff Artist
  20. Dorothy Arzner Film Director
  21. Dr. Robert C. Atkins Diet Doctor, Author, Creator of the Atkins Diet
  22. V.C. Andrews Author
  23. Jane Austen Author of Sense and Sensibility
  24. Max Baer Jr. Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies
  25. Francis Bacon Politician, Philosopher, Scientist
  26. Florence Bailey Author, Naturalist, Ornithologist
  27. Tallulah Bankhead Actress
  28. Abdullah al-Baradouni Yemeni Poet
  29. Bob Barker Former Game Show Host: The Price is Right/ Philanthropist
  30. Joe Barr Canadian Politician
  31. Lynda Barry Cartoonist
  32. Kathy Bates Actress
  33. Jaya Battacharya Actress
  34. King Baudouin King of Belgium
  35. Samuel Beckett Author, Playwright, Poet
  36. Ludwig Van Beethoven Composer
  37. Joe Besser Actor, Replaced Shemp Howard as the Third Stooge
  38. Isabella Bird Author
  39. Jacqueline Bisset Actress
  40. Lewis Black Comedian
  41. Eubie Blake Musician/ Composer
  42. William Blake Artist
  43. Brenda Blethyn Actress
  44. Marc Blitzstein Composer, Dramatist
  45. Baroness Karen Blixen Author, "Out of Africa"
  46. Rosa Bonheur French Painter and Sculptor
  47. Pierre Bonnard Artist
  48. William Edgar Borah Politician
  49. Lara Flynn Boyle Actress
  50. Nathaniel Branden Author/ Psychologist
  51. Georges Brassens Singer
  52. Joe Bob Briggs / aka John Bloom
  53. Author, Movie Critic
  54. Raymond Briggs Children's Book Author
  55. Poppy Z. Brite Author
  56. Anne Bronte Author
  57. Louise Brooks Actress
  58. Helen Gurley Brown Feminist, Editor
  59. Reno Browne Actress, Equestrian
  60. Delta Burke Actress
  61. James Buchanan 15th U.S. President
  62. Pat Buchanan Politician/ Presidential Candidate
  63. Sandra Bullock Actress
  64. James Burke Creator of the PBS Series "Connections"/ Scientific American columnist
  65. Raymond Burr Actor
  66. Caryl Lee Burroughs Hollywood Animal Trainer
  67. Leo Buscaglia Author Actress, Comedian
  68. Maria Callas Opera SingerJulia Cameron Director
  69. Phyllis Carlyle Film Producer, Se7en, The Accidental Tourist
  70. Dora Carrington Bloomsbury Artist
  71. Laura Carroll Author, Families of Two
  72. Mary Casatt Artist
  73. Roger Casement Irish Patriot
  74. Nina Cassian Poet
  75. Barbara Castle British Politician
  76. Kim Catrall Actress
  77. Mary Chapin Carpenter Singer / Songwriter
  78. Rosamond Halsey Carr Founder of Rwanda's Imbabazi Orphanage, Author, Fashion Designer
  79. Richard Chamberlain Actor, Star of Shogun
  80. Coco Chanel Fashion Designer, Dancer, Spy
  81. Stockard Channing Actress, Star of Smoke
  82. Judy Chicago Artist
  83. Margaret Cho Comedian
  84. Julia Child Chef, Cookbook Author
  85. Helen Clark New Zealand Prime Minister

Friday, May 10, 2024

Mothers Are The "Great Teacher"

 With Mother's Day just around the corner, my thoughts began to turn to all of the things I do and have done for my children and family in general as a mother. I see all of the fuzzy feelings and tender-hearted commercials trying to tell children what the perfect gift for mom would be. But is there an appropriate gift to give the one who gives their all?


I thought about Jesus and how he laid his life down for humanity so they could have a shot at eternal life. The giving of himself so fully for others - others never met yet whom he was willing to die for. Moms are not up there with Jesus, but there is no other example of a person giving their all, including their life for someone they love, than a mother.

I must admit there are some terrible mothers out there. There is not a hallmark card for them though. It isn't an easy job. but, even with their imperfections; their children love them deeply. So, for me to say 'there are some terrible moms' would be too flippant, judgmental, and downright horrible. So, I will separate the less than perfect mom, my category, from criminal moms. 
I love listening to the commercials encouraging people to adopt. They target in on the fact that you do not have to be cool, a rocket scientist, or child psychologist to be a loving person willing to adopt a child needing to be loved.

I wanted to take the time to appreciate those who are in this institution of motherhood, adoptive mom. Raising a child with shared DNA is one thing, but choosing to raise a child with the same amount of love and dedication who does not share any familial connection, is epic. A mother's love knows no bounds.

Mothers are the TEACHERS of the world. They fill this position sometimes with little or no training. It is simpler to answer the question what a mother doesn't teach than what does she teach. Even for men who cannot tolerate being under the authority of a woman began their lives being under the authority of a woman, his mother. He was once shaped and molded by a woman.

Mothers do not have a standard checklist in which they tick off all of the things they successfully teach their children. Maybe it would help in child rearing if they did. But one teaching mothers have let slip by the wayside is teaching their sons and daughters HOW to be a spouse. This is evident with people looking for or in a relationship wanting to be a POWER COUPLE, forgetting what MARRIAGE is truly about. You may ask if it is an actual duty of a mother to teach her child how to be a spouse and the answer is YES.

Titus 2:1–5 in the Bible says, "You, however, must teach what is appropriate to sound doctrine. Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God".
In this passage we see older women are supposed to carry themselves in a certain way and in turn teach younger women to do the same. In this teaching of how an older woman is supposed to live is the teaching of the younger woman how to be a wife and MOTHER (young men should be taught also how to be a husband and father).
I'm sure since there is wording regarding being SUBMISSIVE to the husband and doing housework, women prefer to not acknowledge this Bible passage. Whether the passage is embraced or not, being a spouse/mother is something that should be TAUGHT and not done by the seat of the pants. If children were being taught marriage and parenthood can be rewarding and what each is supposed to look like when healthy, then maybe today's nuclear family structure would not be threatened. We groom our children for careers and income but not how to be spouses and parents. Why should it be taught in the case of women? Because a mother becomes a GREAT TEACHER. It would seem it falls to the father to make sure the son learns how to be a husband and father but remember who the primary teacher in the home is. And sons definitely need to be taught how to be a good husband and father the entirety of their childhood.
Teachers in the American educational system state with just cause that they are underpaid for their work in teaching the future of America and underappreciated. Likewise, a mother, the FOREVER teacher is not comparably compensated for her work and her contribution to society is woefully underappreciated. 
Sometimes motherhood is a thankless position of late hours and few seeable benefits. But, upon reflection it turns out to be filled with benefits. Nothing can ever compare to that first whiff of innocence/newness I inhaled the first time I held each of my daughters for the first time. That was priceless. All of the funny faces they made at new discoveries made me smile. The laughter that tickled my ears at the simplest of things they found to be hilarious, and I had long ago taken for granted, made me smile. I have memories filled with smiles. If I were offered millions for my mother memories, I would turn it down. So, to all of the mothers out there; happy Mother's Day from me.
No matter what your mothering style is, preparing your child for marriage and parenthood or not, all that you do DO is invaluable. But of course, there is someone who did put a value on it.
According to ZipRecruiter, as of April 30, 2024, the average hourly pay for a stay-at-home mom in the United States is $16.32, and the average hourly pay for a housewife is $22.95A 2019 survey from Salary.com estimated that the median annual salary for stay-at-home moms is $178,201, which includes traditional roles like housekeeper, dietitian, and day care teacher, as well as newer roles like network administrator, social media communications, and recreational therapist. Not too shabby, eh?

Heather Chrudimsky states that a stay-at-home moms perform many necessary duties, have important responsibilities that serve as the glue in a family/household that keeps it together and running smoothly. Their duties don't run on a 9 to 5 schedule and there is no punch out time. Below is her listing of a mother's duties.

10. Administrative assistant: run errands, answer the phone, pay bills, fill out paperwork, organize and schedule activities,
9. Chef: whether it's breakfast, lunch or dinner. Cooking responsibilities are on the shoulders of the stay-at-home - all while taking care of the kids.
8. Tutor/teacher: Time to bring out the math, science, spelling, etc. skills back out. No matter what the age, homework help is a staple in a stay-at-home mom's day.
7. Chauffeur: Whether it's to school, choir, dance, sports practice, dentist, doctor, friend's house, park, grocery store, etc., stay-at-home moms spend just about as much time in their vehicle as a truck driver.
6. Daycare provider: Kiddos are obviously a stay-at-home mom's top priority. Making sure they are busy, safe and engaged is a constant.
5. Referee: Literally and figuratively. Children fight and it is the job of mom to make sure no one is hurt, and lessons are learned.
4. Doctor/nurse: Band-aids, ointment and mommy kisses - nothing cures a boo-boo better.
3. Psychiatrist: Whether is it helping little ones understand their growing emotions or healing a first broken heart - mom is always there to offer a shoulder to cry on and give advice of course.
2. Maid/homemaker: Just call them domestic divas - name the cleaning chore, stay-at-home moms have done it.
1. Family mascot/boss: Regardless of a family's makeup, moms are the family centerpiece, keeping the family together, making sure everything runs smoothly and keeping everyone happy.

Seems like mothers might need regular vacation time WITH PAY.


For children, whatever you decide to give your mother for Mother's Day; expensive or not, make sure you smother her with 'thank yous' and 'love yous' because this is music to a mother's ears.






Tuesday, April 9, 2024

Do Men Need Silence To Survive?

Raise your hand if you feel your man never wants to listen to you or seems to tune out when you talk. Is it you? Well, it has been me.

One day while I was TALKING to my husband he became frustrated. This was nothing new. No matter the topic I would endeavor to discuss with him, he would become frustrated. A thought came to my mind. Many women complain their husband doesn't talk to them or seem to tune them out when they are speaking. This "general"experiences of women with their husbands have left them frustrated for years. Why do men "tune out" or become agitated when women are speaking?

A light bulb went off in my head. Can there be a genetic component to women being able to LISTEN and men to TUNE OUT.

Mothers are exceptional beings. They have a HEARING capacity that goes beyond scientific explaination. A mother can detect the difference and significance of her child's voice, laughter, or cry. They know just by hearing if their child is in danger, sick, happy, anxious, or sad. They are in TUNE to verbal expression. A mother's ear is always on alert for various sounds her child may make and acts accordingly.

On the other hand, we know through historical evidence, men are hunters. Hunters need silence to stalk and to kill their prey. NOISE is the enemy of men in their endeavor to kill to secure food for thier family. Also, silence is needed when men are trying to determine if danger or a threat is approaching. For men, noise meant danger or loss of a successful hunt. SILENCE was a man's partner and NEED. Not only do men avoid making any noise when hunting, they also try to be INVISIBLE to what they are hunting. Even the equipment selected to take on a hunt must not make any noise while hunting.

Men are also able to key in on the sounds their prey may make. Breaking branches as they move or the crunching of leaves as they walk. But they are FOCUSED on sounds/noise with the intentions of killing. Why would a man focus on NOISE if they are not going in for a kill or to protect? It makes no sense.

Can it be that men are wired to have an adverse reaction to NOISE and noise is the most important factor for a woman to ensure the health and safety of her offsprings? Do we as men and women have ingrained reactions to NOISE or talking for what we are wired to do as humans? Can it be that simple?

Some men find it so upsetting, so emotionally arousing to listen to their partners that they feel they have to ventilate their anger or withdraw. In fact, this is supported by the research that shows that their pulse-rates escalate during conflict and they find this unbearable.

The reasons given most often by men why they don't listen to their wives is, If it were to be generalised is…

  • She doesn’t say what she means 
  • She can change her mind a lot
  • She can say she likes things when he knows she doesn’t 
  • She can tell him what she wants and then not be happy when she gets it
  • She can become emotional over the smallest of things
  • She can be upset for no reason
  • She can tell him she hates him one day and then loves him the next
  • She can be miserable with him and instantly switch and be happy when a friend calls
  • She can lie about past events
  • She’s overly emotional and unreasonable
  • She’s controlling
That is a lot of reasons why a man says he does not listen to a woman/spouse. The reason is ALL due to her ACTIONS and no responsibility is on HIM. Most women will tell you, as soon as she BEGINS to SPEAK, the man CHECKS OUT. He doesn't even try to listen to the topic of discussion. He is frustrated in being APPROACHED with the possibility of being in a DISCUSSION.

On the other hand, women seem to be willing to talk about any and every subject. Women are usually more verbal than men, women possess higher levels of language protein in their brains. Research shows that most women speak on average 20,000 words per day, approximately 13,000 more than the average male.

Women generally speak more quickly and devote more brainpower to verbal communication. Beware, though, when you see the word “generally”, as it refers to just 51% or more of any population. Until recently, we couldn’t biologically explain why women’s brains were more active with speech and communication. New Journal of Neuroscience findings show that a protein called FOXP2 produces speech. Researchers find 30% more FOXP2 in the brains of girls. This protein is a key molecule for communication in mammals. With this link, scientists may soon trace the evolutionary origin of human speech. Proving their sense of humor, the lead authors (a man and woman) on the study concluded that perhaps they’ve also found the reason women tend to be so much better at small talk.

Science says women are designed to TALK and we know they are designed to LISTEN.


It was found that mothers' ability to recognize their newborn from their cries increased rapidly within a few days of postpartum, with highly multiparous mothers performing better. However, both male and female non-parents could similarly recognize an assigned baby, even after a very short exposure. Researchers at the National Institutes of Health have uncovered firm evidence for what many mothers have long suspected: women’s brains appear to be hard-wired to respond to the cries of a hungry infant. A mother's reaction to the many sounds of her child seems to continue as the child grows. She is highly aware of her child's verbal communication and it's underlying meaning. Communication is vital to ensure the survival of her child and welcomed. 

Researchers asked men and women to let their minds wander, then played a recording of white noise interspersed with the sounds of an infant crying. Brain scans showed that, in the women, patterns of brain activity abruptly switched to an attentive mode when they heard the infant cries, whereas the men’s brains remained in the resting state. 

This is a difference I have recognized from my own experience and interaction with my husband and has made me wonder if men are genetically adverse to noise which includes talking which women are prone to due in excess in their opinion. Have we been riding our male companions to do something that disturbes their core being? We need men to TALK also (even without being aware of it) so we can determine their wellbeing through their speech and we feel it's being withheld which makes us feel insecure and unsafe. While men find silence crucial to their ability to feel safe and secure.

In relationships, men and women always seem to be on a different wavelegnth and oppposition. Maybe we just don't understand and work WITH the way we may both be wired to survive.

Tuesday, March 12, 2024

Sacrifice of Motherhood

Ask a woman who has been pregnant and givien birth to describe the experience and you will receive varying accounts. Some women enjoy and have the 'glow' of pregnacy while others find it a time filled with nausea and physical discomfort. A 2015 study by Polish researchers found mothers carrying sons had higher disgust sensitivity compared to mothers carrying daughters in the first trimester. While girl-moms’ queasiness decreased during the second trimester, boy-moms actually experienced elevated stomach-turning reactions.

Deliveries can be quick or drawn out with intense pain. There are those who want to be present and experience every nuance of giving birth, while others pray to be knocked out and awakened once the baby is delivered. Joanna was forced to remain in the tilted position 24 hours a day for two and a half months. After 75 days – and what is believed to be the longest labour ever recorded – Joanna gave birth to a healthy girl, Iga, and boy, Ignacy. The two babies were delivered by caesarean at a neo-natal clinic in Wroclaw, Poland.

Even with medical books available to walk a woman through pregnancy and delivery, there is always something the literature is unable to convey and could only be learned through the experience of BEING pregnant and GIVING birth. 

It surprises me how many people view being pregnant and giving birth as no more extrodinary or involved as going to the grocery store for food. They say it has been done for years, so there must not be that much to it. Many of the adverse effects of pragnancy women faced were turned into just old wive's tales. The old wives were on to something when they warned “gain a child and lose a tooth.” Women who have had three children forfeit four chompers more than those who have had two kids or fewer. Women whose first two children are the same sex, and who then go on to have a third child, are particularly at risk. Problems with gum disease and calcium absorption in pregnancy may leave moms vulnerable 

Carrying a child and giving birth, whether vaginally or by cesarean section, can stress muscles, ligaments, and nerves responsible for sexual function and bladder and bowel control. The U.S. has one of the highest maternal mortality rates among developed countries, according to data from the Orginisation for Economic Cooperation and Development. There were 20 maternal deaths for every 100,000 live births in 2019, more than double the rate just two decades ago.

More than half of the women, 52%, died after delivery. The total numbers are likely higher thab reported, as deaths from suicide and drug overdoses among people who recently gave birth may not be listed as postpartum deaths. Black women are more than twice as likely to die as a result of chilkdbirth than White women, underscoring racial and ethnic diparities.

The most common complications women report after giving birth include pain after sex, incontinence, pain at the incision site following a cesarean section, and postpartum depression, Gunter said. Once the baby is born, a woman’s blood pressure may spike dangerously. She may hemorrhage or develop egg-sized blood clots. Her emotions may plummet or soar amid rapidly fluctuating hormones. Crippling lower back pain may sear on one side of the body, while on the other, the abdominal muscles separate after months of straining to contain a growing human. These changes happen while her newborn baby needs to eat once every two to three hours, if not more frequently.

In a first-of-its-kind, ground-breaking analysis of pre- and post-pregnancy brain scans published in 2016, researchers found mothers lose gray matter during pregnancy—and these losses endure for at least two years. 

Even with all we know about pregnany and childbirth, there are surprises. Because being pregnant and delivering a baby is much more demanding on the body, serious thought should be given whether to bnecome a mother or not and the choice should be made by the person affected the most - the potencial mother. Motherhood is a sacrificial act filled with mystery and can even be seen in the animal kingdom. Moms do and give in ways not even noticed by themselves.

One similarities moms have with an animal is how they carry their newborn. Regardless of whether they are left- or right-handed, human moms tend to cradle their babies on the left side of their bodies, especially in the early months. Observed off the coast of a Russian island, walrus moms tend to keep their babies on the left while bobbing along the waves, and their calves swam over to their mother’s left side before diving to suckle. 

We all know mother protect their children fiercely The widespread phenomenon of maternal aggression may involve oxytocin, a neurochemical also related to birth and lactation. In a 2017 lab experiment, rat moms stopped attacking a threat once oxytocin signaling in part of their brains was blocked. Some studies have found that oxytocin levels in moms increase at the onset of labor and during labor compared to 1 or 2 weeks before labor, reaching a peak just when the head of the baby is delivered. In another study, levels of oxytocin were found to increase slowly until delivery and then decrease up to 8 weeks postpartum. One group reported higher levels of oxytocin at 36 weeks of pregnancy than 1 day after delivery or later.

Mothers are willing to go to the death for their children. Here are some animals who go above and beyond for their offsprings. I ask you to picture a 'human' mom and the sacrifice she makes with her decision to become a mom. Motherhood (pregnancy and delivery included) is not for the faint of heart.

Ever the overachiever, the female octopus can lay up to hundreds of thousands of eggs in one go. Over the eggs’ development period — anywhere from 40 days to 53 months in the case of one record-breaking species, Graneledone boreopacifica, these maternal cephalopods gently blow water currents over the eggs to provide them with oxygen and keep them clean. Unwilling to leave her brood to hunt for food, the mother octopus often resorts to eating one or two of her own tentacles for sustenance while waiting for them to hatch.

Chicken moms take their duties very seriously. Creating an endless amount of calcium carbonate for eggshells is a difficult task, so if chickens don't get enough calcium in their diets, they'll actually dissolve their own bones to make baby-housing shells. 

Like bears, the mother Pacific gray whales go hungry for months while still needing to produce high-calorie milk for their babies. During this time they may lose as much as 8 tons of weight.

For many females spiders, they attach their egg cocoons to their webs and watch over them until the babies hatch. Once her children have hatched, the mother continues to eat, but regurgitates most of her meals as a nutrient soup for her offspring while the spiderlings stay in their mother's web. When the babies are around a month old, the mother spider rollover on her back allowing the spiderlings to clamber over her, kill her by injecting their venom and digestive enzymes into her body, and eat her. When the babies are around a month old, the mother spider rolls over on her back allowing the spiderlings to clamber over her, kill her by injecting their venom and digestive enzymes into her body, and eat her. 

In earwig nation, the idea of unconditional maternal love isn't a given. When earwig mothers have a clutch of babies (or nymphs), the mothers will sniff out a chemical signal from the healthier ones and proceed to provide more abundant care and feeding to those babies. The babies that are identified as hungrier and less robust will be given less attentive parenting and feeding. 

Mama Panda is a coldhearted, favorite-choosing shrew of a parent. Or a little less dramatically: Mama Panda will often give birth to two babies but almost always only raises one.  Panda moms have to expend an enormous amount of energy to even digest their own food, and providing milk or resources for little ones is extremely difficult. By concentrating their energy on one of the babies, the chance of having one healthy offspring seems better than having two weak progeny.

We have no shortage of stories about infanticide in nature. Most of us who have been in a fourth-grade classroom know that hamsters are one of the most well-known creatures to devour their young, along with mice and other rodents. But long-tailed skinks that inhabit the island of Lanyu (just off the coast of Taiwan) If they feel they're threatened by predators, the skinks immediately gobble up their own eggs.




Wednesday, March 6, 2024

Birth Control means Controlling Births

Whenever people talk about pregnancy it is always in a warm, loving, gushy, feelings kind of way. The thought of a new bundle of joy arriving soon delights those in proximity to the expectant mother. Everyone loves a baby. Or do they?

In early history of the family, children were not always viewed as a godsend. Oh, they were needed and necessary for various reasons, but there was not the joy and delight experienced by modern expecting parents. Male children were extremely important. They would inherit the families wealth and carry on the family name. Boy babies were desperately wanted. And if a woman failed to deliver the 'man' child, there could be consequences. 

In many early cultures, men could dissolve a marriage or take another wife if a woman was infertile. However, the early Christian church was a trailblazer in arguing that marriage was not contingent on producing offspring. The early Christian church held the position that if you can procreate you must not refuse to procreate. But they always took the position that they would annul a marriage if a man could not have sex with his wife, but not if they could not conceive. Pregnancy has always mattered to men. Pregnancy for women, or the inability of, could be a time of anxiety and fear.

In modern society, it is almost tabboo to say you don't want to have any children. People can not fathom why someone would prefer to be childless. Some research found a negative relation between these variables: parenthood was associated with decreased marriage quality, increased marital conflict, more severe symptoms of depression, and decreased marital satisfaction–especially when pregnancy was unplanned. Having children is not all fun and games. 

Children are hard on a marriage. Not only is raising children time-consuming and tiring, it is also related to a frequent exposure to stressors. With each added child there is added stress taking time and attentian away from the married couple as they manage the stressors of child rearing. The stressors may outweigh the resources the couple has at some point. Even if partners are fulfilled as parents, their relational wellbeing may be threatened due to parental distress. 

So, throughout history, ways to decrease the number of children conceived has been practiced. People knew the number of children they had affected the entire family in varous ways. How many children were people having in the days when they were not successfully able to control births?

Who gave birth to the most children in history? Between 1725-1765, Valentina Vassilyev was apparently rather busy. According to a local monestary's records, the prolific Russian mother popped out 16 pairs of twins, 7 sets of triplets, and 4 sets of quadruplets, ove 27 separate lobours. The grand total: 69 children. There are many skeptics regarding this record. But, if controlling births is not practiced, there is a probability of having a large number of children. Sixty-nine children may seem like far too many. For some, 3, are far too many. It all depends on the ability of the parents to be able to care for the children. Finances are important, but emotional and mental stability to raise a large number of children is a must.

The verified record holder for most births is a Ugandan mother named Miriam Nabatanzi, who has a rare genetic condition called hyperovulation, and gave birth to 44 children across 15 births from 1993 to 2016. She is a single mother to her 38 surviving kids.

For men, and the number of children they conceive are off the charts. While records are difficult to confirm, it probably is true that Genghis Khan has fathered the most children in history, as estimates range between 1,000 and 3,000 direct offspring from his enormous harem. A 2003 study estimated that 16 million men alive today are direct descendants of Genghis Khan. Similar studies have shown a Y-chromosome lineage linked to at least ten other extraordinarily prolific dads, including the Qing Dynasty ruler Giocangga. Why haven't science come up with an oral or injectable contraceptive for men?

More recently, a court case in the Netherlands exposed an alarming fact. A Dutch musician in his early 40’s named Jonathan Jacob Meijer, had fathered between 550 and 600 children through sperm donation. Meijer is a bit of a Dutch lion, with “a mane of curly blonde hair.” In online ads promoting his suitability as a sperm donor, Meijer has described himself as a “musical Viking donor.”

When we think about whether or not to have children, we believe it should be the sole decision of the future parents. But, that was not always the case.

In Ancient Rome the law provides too much freedom to householders whether to admit a newborn child or not. In order to make a decision, all family members including relatives and neighbors give their opinions. Because during that time unwanted and disabled children could be left to die on the streets. Law gives the father, who has whole authority on the family, the right to choose the life of his child. The accepted child would be welcomed by a ceremony in the family. There are several symbolic scenes such as the oldest man in the family putting the child to the ground and hanging a flashy crown outside of the house door to welcome a child. During the first 3-4 days, they hang a chain of amulet to the girl’s neck and bulla to the boy’s neck. Girls and boys get their names after 8 and 9 days of their birth respectively which is a day after die lustrous, a time period when it is no longer feared the infant would die. 

As we continue to travel through time, children are still not viewed as a gift. The medieval society was primarily an agrarian one (community whose economy is based on producing and maintaining crops and farmland). And the family unit made the agrarian economy work. From an economic standpoint, nothing was more valuable to a peasant family than sons to help with the plowing and daughters to help with the household. To have children was, essentially, one of the primary reason to marry. Children were valued for the labor and production they could add to a poor family. Poor people had many children and did not practice controlling births.

Among the nobility, children would perpetuate the family name and increase the family's holdings through advancement in service to their liege lords and through advantageous marriages. Some of these unions were planned while the bride and groom-to-be were still in the cradle. Children were still used to increase wealth and status of a family. They were born with a job to help their family.

In 1325 and the outbreak of the first plague epidemic (bubonic), testators (a person who has made a will or given a legacy) had on average 2.8 live children. Between 1350 and 1375, the average dropped to 1.9 and continued to decrease, reaching a low of 1.4 children per testator between 1400 and 1424. To acheive this low number of children within a marriage, before the invention of reliable birth control, there must have been abstinance. Currently, there is a turning tide against the use of contraceptives, IVF, and abortions. The 1300's proved conception can be controlled without medical intervention. You just may not like how it is accomplished though.

During the 1300's when births were more than likely controlled through abtinance, life was not easy. Life was harsh with a limited diet and little comfort. Women were subordinate to men, in both the peasant and noble classes, and were expected to ensure the smooth running of the household. Children had a 50% survival rate beyond age one, and began to contribute to family life around age twelve. In 1300-1400, the life expectancy was 45.4 years of age.

Until about a century ago, many spouses died by their mid-forties, and many babies were born out of wedlock. Many children became orphans or were abandoned due to an inability to care for them. In medieval Europe, for example, people died early from disease, malnutrition, and other problems. One consequence of early mortality was that many young children could expect to outlive at least one of their parents and thus essentially were raised in one-parent families or in stepfamilies.

During the American colonial period, different family types abounded, and the nuclear family was by no means the only type. Children in colonial families were numerous and averaged between seven to ten in each household. The number of children at home varied, however, for a variety of reasons. The most common of these being (sadly) early death of children. Roughly half of the off-spring would not reach maturity. Nomadic Native American groups had relatively small nuclear families, while nonnomadic groups had larger extended families. Because nuclear families among African Americans slaves were difficult to achieve, slaves adapted by developing extended families, adopting orphans, and taking in other people not related by blood or marriage. Many European parents of colonial children died because average life expectancy was only 45 years. The one-third to one-half of children who outlived at least one of their parents lived in stepfamilies or with just their surviving parent. Mothers were so busy working the land and doing other tasks that they devoted relatively little time to child care, which instead was entrusted to older children or servants.

In 1800, most women in the U.S. had 7 children but that number has steadily decreased over the years, with the exception of the Baby Boom (when the U.S. fertility rate jumped to 3.62). In 2018, U.S. woman had 1.7 children on average.

By the 1900s, parents began to treat children more like little people and dressed them like kids, not mini adults. It was the custom to pose in front of a photographer's backdrop for family photos. Since there were no color photographs, artists sometimes painted over the black-and-white photos. This must have been the start of the wam fuzzy feelings towards having children. They were no longer viewed as bargaining chips for lucrative marriages, or free labor. Children were just children. Now a precious gift. So no need for trying to control births. Bring on the babies!

Moving much forward in US history, an important change in American families occurred during the 1940s after World War II ended. As men came home after serving in the military in Europe and Japan, books, magazines, and newspapers exhorted women to have babies, and babies they did have. People got married at younger ages and the birth rate soared, resulting in the now famous baby boom generation. Many families during the 1950s did indeed fit the Leave It to Beaver model of the breadwinner-homemaker suburban nuclear family. Following the Depression of the 1930s and the war of the 1940s, the 1950s seemed an almost idyllic decade. Life was easy and good. Why would anyone want to control births?

The pill was first prescribed exclusively for mestrual regulation, and only to married women. The emergence of the women's rights movement of the 1960s and 1970s was significantly related to the availability of the pill and the control over fertility it enabled. This capability allowed women to make choices about other life arenas, especially work. It reduced the risk of unintended pregnancy in the context of the sexual revolution of the '60s and established family planning as the cultural norm for the U.S. and in many other countries of the world. The first pill was effective and simple to use. The theory was that the risk of pregnancy and the stigma that went along with it prevented single women from having sex and married women from having affairs. Since women on the Pill could control their fertility, single and married women could have sex anytime, anyplace, and with anyone without the risk of pregnancy.

This sounds absolutely retched doesn't it? Women having sex free willy-nilly and dodging the consequences of pregancy. THOSE WITHOUT SIN CAST THE FIRST STONE, John 8:7-11. Men have always had the ability to decide when they wanted to engage in the duties of fatherhood. Notice I said men chose when to enter fatherhood and not when to become a father. There's a difference. 

Nearly half (46%) of men ages 15 to 44 with biological children report that at least one of their children was born outside of marriage, and 31% report that all of their children were born outside of marriage. There are also 2.9 million men (2.4%) who are living with an unmarried partner and have biological children with that partner. Nearly one in ten men have children with more than one person. Of the 72.2 million fathers, 5.9 million (8.2%) have never been married. Nearly half (46 percent) of fathers with multiple-partner fertility had at least one child within a marriage and one child outside a marriage.

A new Child Trends study estimates that 15 percent of men, or more than one in seven, will father children with more than one woman by the age of 40. According to the study, Men Who Father Children with More Than One Woman: A Contemporary Portrait of Multiple-Partner Fertility, five percent of men will father children with more than one woman by age 25. This increases to eight percent at age 30, to 12 percent at age 35, and to 15 percent at age 40. Moreover, these men have more children than men who have multiple children with the same woman: More than one-third of men (36 percent) who had children with multiple women had four or more children. 

These numbers could be higher, but men have the luxury of not being tied down by an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy. They do not even have to acknowledge a pregnancy. The child being born may not ever have an impact on his life. 43% of U.S. children live without their father. 90% of homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes. 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. maybe this is one reason women say my body, my choice. 

I hate to say this but, women want to control their number of births, and men are not so concerned about controlling births. Sadly, women who want to be in control of births are viewed as promiscuous and careless. While throughout history, men have not been labled as permiscous and carless for having unplanned and unwanted pregnancies.

By the 1900's we entered a period where children were not seen as a burden or just another mouth to feed. People welcomed a new life into their home. Sexual freedom for both men and women, led to an increase in pregnancies. To solve the problem of controlling pregnancy, it will take both the man and the woman. just as it takes two to make a child. Taking away the freedom of one, while the other has no accountability is not a balanced solution. There are so many alarming statistics about pregnancy, such as teen girls are usually impregnated by an adult male. Teen girls are unable to give consent, but the adult fathers are not prosecuted. Pregnancy is complicated in many cases.

Birth control means controlling births. It has been practiced for centuries in various ways, some in not so pretty or kind ways. The life of the child planned or unplanned, can be beautiful or the substance of what tragic movies are made of. The ability to control births aids in the health of society.




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