What's Love Got To Do With It?

LIFE IS NOT THAT SERIOUS. TAKE TIME TO SMILE AND HAVE A LAUGH WHEN POSSIBLE

    Today is Valentines Day and there are people enjoying the day celebrating being in love with their special someone. And there are those who have not found their special someone and are not feeling so cheery today. It's okay. I'm here to hopefully uplift you with my writing about the crazy world of nature and how humans are only a BIT different when it comes to "Getting busy" "Knocking boots" "Hooking up" "Doing the Wild Thang" and what ever the young people slang is for having SEX (leave a comment which I know you will tell me how my slang is outdated).

    This post was originally written in the height of spring 2023. I love it so much I wanted to share it with you again on this day when everyone's attention is on having a significant OTHER or not having one. Let me be your significant OTHER today and let me shower YOU today with a smile. My BEST gift I can give to you.

    There are few people who cringe when the topic of sex is brought up. Parents belong to the group of cringers when it comes to thinking about their sweet innocent children one day having sex. On the other hand, children cringe thinking of the possibility their geriatric parents EVER had sex.

    Be that as it may, live long enough and you too will eventually have sex. Live long enough and you will regret your choice of at least one sex partner. 

    I know many decided to click on this blog, this particular post, hoping for some steamy or even perverted writing regarding SEX. I aim to please.

    The problem you may find with this writing is that it is not about people having sex; well, not diectly. I will not be offering my expertise in this area nor any new-found techniques or positions. Believe me, no matter how good or unique you may believe yourself to be in this area, there is nothing new under the sun and many masters exist.

    With my gardening backgroud, passion, and enjoyment, I find this time of year to be a-buzz with sexual activity in the insect world. EVERYTHING is trying to recreate itself and PLEASURE does not seem to factor into it as it does with us humans. But, as always, there is always a hint of the animal world or nature found within ourselves.

    

    The male ladybug evidently does not need much or expects any participation from the lady he chooses to spend some time with. Human men have a cheif complaint of sex being 'horrible' with a woman/partner who just lays there. The male ladybug is able to go for HOURS. Many human woman may nor prefer hours, but have a complaint of the sexual union ending far quicker than she would hope. But as with the male ladybug, there is a certain amount of "I'm in this just for me" that crosses over into the human sexual experience. But, come on dude; she's DEAD.

    Men also complain women use sex as a bargaining chip. Want to have sex? Take out the garbage, or buy me a gift, take me to a movie or dinner, etc., etc., etc. To just get in on the action, the male human has to do a great deal (according to them). So women, give the man what he wants. SEX and instant DEATH just like the female praying mantis does.

    Everybody knows that men think about sex every seven seconds. What people haven’t perhaps considered is that means more than 8000 times a day or 56 000 times a week. Really? Did everybody know that?  When The Kinsley Institute researchers asked men and women how often they think about sex, 54 percent of men said they think about sex several times a day, 43 percent responded a few times per week or just a few times per month, and 4 percent said less than once a month. Meanwhile, 19 percent of women said they thought about sex every day or several times a day, 67 percent responded a few times per week or a few times a month or, and 14 percent said less than once a month. So the every seven seconds is myth and legend.

     But, would they think of it at all if their balls exploded and they died after that ONE glorious orgasm? Women wouldn't be at risk of dying after an orgasm since women said they reach orgasm 31-40% of the time in response to the question about intercourse in general. By contrast, women said they reached orgasm even more often with assisted intercourse (51-60% of the time), but less often with unassisted intercourse (21-30% of the time). Women are just destined to outlive men lol. No EXPLOSIONS going on her way.

    

    We women are not as extreme as the dragonfly in our efforts to get out of having sex, but does the phrase: "Not tonight dear. I have a headache" ring a bell? Men, never the wiser, have not realized their sexual partner somehow freakishly has at least three 'periods' a month rendering them temporarily out of commission in the sex department. Thank goodness, along with getting directions, men don't do the math on menstrual cycles per month. Moving right along.

    Okay ladies. By a show of hands how many of you have been awakened from a sound sleep by an object, which you recognized imeediately as a penis, pokinng you in the back? WHAT IS UP WITH THAT? Men, you use that sexual organ like a heat seeking missile!! A poke here. A poke there. I mean, REALLY! Do you ever think it can be a traumatizing experience in the same way as the bedbug? No. In your charm, you view it as an assault with a FRIENDLY WEAPON. And God love you, we women giggle and join in.

    All of the above sex acts seem so UNNATURAL, but they are completely NATURAL in the insect world and the human world. All of the sexual interactions must occur in order for survival to continue. The persistent and tenacious gets to procreate and pass along DNA. Taking chances to mate with the dead and sometimes half dead, is a chance worth taking. Going after the desired ONE, at the risk of loss of life and limb, is worth it. Faking death and illness to get out of MATING insures the BEST DNA is passed along. Women do have to be selective in choosing the father of her offspring; a lesson needed to be learned and understood in this generation of sexually active, child bearing age people.

     Right now the air, literally, the air is filled with sexual activity in every direction the eye can rest. When we think about having the 'sex talk' with our children it is not referred to the 'birds and the bees' talk for no reason. If we were to actually explain what the birds and bees are truly doing it would frighten our children off of the idea of ever having sex. Even though it's hard for parents to hold the thought of their blossoming children becoming sexually active, we don't want them to NOT EVER have a happy healthy sex life. But, man, it's harsh out there for a bug. 

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