Can't Choose A Favorite Child? Choose A Favorite Plant

     

    One thing that is universally known almost without being said is, "Don't ask parents if they have a favorite child." The children may go back and forth in jest about being the favorite child, but parent's mouths are sealed when it comes to answering this question. They have become diplomatic, politician like when they do give a response to this question, "I love all of my children equally. There is not a favorite one. They are all my favorite."

    When you ask a gardener, "What is your favorite plant?" Most are ready and willing to tell you which plant they favor and why. But, you do run into the gardener who will say, "It's hard to decided. I love them all."   

    Just as with our children, flowers have their OUTSTANDING points and their TERRIBLE drawbacks. Take the rose for example, and yes, I chose it first because it is my favorite flower/plant. Roses have a wide range of colors, diferent types of flower petals, different fragrances, and different growth habits. They are a real show stopper when in bloom. It is hard for anyone to pass a rose without stopping to smell it or admire it. But we all know the number one drawback of roses: the THORNS.

    I can't tell you the countless times I have been ashamed handing a cashier money at a grocery store or department store when I extended my scratched hand, wrist, and arm. Sometimes I look as though I have been in a cat fight after planting, weeding, or pruning my roses. I almost feel an uncontrollable urge to explain all of the scratches I have acquired, but instead, I just kind of tuck my head and quickly exit. All rose growers look like they own a cat whether they do or don't. I don't. 

    Then of course the rose bush is susceptable to insect infestation and diseases. Aphids and blackspot are the rose gardener's nightmare. Careful watch has to be maintained to nip the problem in the bud early. So even the most precious beloved beautiful flower/plant, has reasons for it not to be loved. And there ARE many gardeners who just don't want this problem child.

    Another plant which people buy in mass is the petunia. Now I LIKE petunias but I don't love them. Settle down petunia lovers. I mean no harm. Why, you may ask? Because they require water daily, and sometimes several waterings when the weather becomes really hot in the summer. If you want continuous blooms, then deadheading is required. Deadheading is when you cut off the part where a blossom had died allowing for new buds and blooms to form. In spring and early summer you will see me humming around my plants deadheading with happiness. But soon as the thermomenter hits 90, I'm out of there leaving my plant to become scraggly and with fewer blooms.

    Dahlias are a winner. When I see this stately flower/plant in people's gardens I always wish I had planted some or more. They can grow over 5 feet tall and have flowers as big as your hand. The variety is limitless and the colors you can select are immense. But, they are tubers and have to be dug up each fall in Northern states because they cannot survive the winter's cold and freezing temperatures. Because of their height, they require staking so they will not fall over. I AIN'T GOT TIME FOR THAT! But, boy are they worth taking the time to stake.

Dahlias have other drawbacks such as stem rot (stems rot when dahlias are growing in heavy, poorly drained, wet soil), mosaic virus (drarfs plants and distorts leaves. You must destroy the plant because there is no cure), and botrytis ( covers the plant with powdery gray mold). Pests include aphids, thrips, mites, and leafhoppers. Insects enjoy the plant as much as the gardener does or more so. Slugs, snails, and cutworms enjoy feasting on this plant too.

    Some gardeners even get offended if you suggest you can't stand their favorite plant. They go into defense and protection mode in the same way as when defending their child. 

    While it is considered HORRIBLE for a parent to say they have a favorite child, it is okay and excepted that a gardener would have a faovrite flower/plant. Through the years they may switch from one plant to the next as a favorite. This is actually, in my proffessional view and experience, how the many and various garden beds are created in a garden.

    A gardener will CREATE a completely new bed with the right conditions for a plant they have fallen in love with. Adding the right soil, adding irrigation where there was no naturally occurring water, planting trees to create a shade area, or removing trees to create a sun baked location for sun loving plants. Nothing is too much or to difficult to achieve for our little darlings. We are willing to spoil and pamper them.

    What a minute! I almost forgot the fun part of gardening. If a plant you love is just misbehaving, can't be satisfied no matter what you do. Has been moved to different locations in the garden in an effort to get it to thrive and just won't live up to your expectations - you can THROW IT AWAY. Yeah!!

    You can't throw children away if they don't please you. You have to keep them and do the best you can and still love them. I know there is no one reading this that wishes they could just get rid of a less than perfect child, right?

    Having a favorite flower/plant, flaws and all is fun, but don't shut out maybe experiencing a new and different type of flower/plant. I read all of the time gardeners saying they were intimidated by my fave, the rose, until they planted their first one and realized how wondeful and beautiful they are. They were surprised that they could keep them alive easier than they had believed. Never say NEVER to a flower/plant. Don't get upset if your favorite isn't someone elses favorite. Just like our children have individual qualities that make us love them dearly, so do plants.

    I would love to know which flower/plant is your favorite and why. Leave me a comment here or on my Facebook page: Black People Garden Too in Mississippi (9) Black People Garden Too in Mississippi | Facebook as always follow me here and on Facebook. Twiiter Dorothy Guyton (@ndefenseofwomen) / Twitter Instagram Dorothy Guyton (@gift_of_god_2) | Instagram 

Gardener vs Flower Lover

[All pics from my garden] 

I've been gardening for over 20 years now, and I've come to notice something.

People see me in the garden center of the super stores buying plants. They will say, "What a pretty plant. Does it come back each year?" And if the answer is no, they quickly move on to what they were doing.

Once I make it to the check out line with plants I just could not resist, but have no idea where I can possibly squeeze into my already full garden, people in line say, "What beautiful plants. Do you have to water them?" When I say yes, I always here, "I don't have any time to be watering plants."

When someone comes to my home, I am shocked and pleased at how much they like my flower garden. But, it's not long before they say, "I wish I had time to have flowers. I just have so much to do."

Also while people tour my garden I hear, "You must spend a lot of money on your garden. I don't have any money for anything I can't eat."

I meet people everyday who want flowers at their home and that is as far as it goes. THEY WANT FLOWERS. They want their flowers to look like my flowers without anything I do for them to look like they do. People love FLOWERS but not GARDENS.

GARDENS are where flowers go to live. They are no longer a PLANT, but part of a family. THEY have a home. Families and homes require love and care to live and to thrive. BASIC needs must be met. When a person loves their family and home, meeting basic needs is not a chore, but actually a joy and expression of love.

Every gardener will tell you, one day they looked up and had hundreds of plants. Somehow, it just happened. That is because wherever their is LOVE there is GROWTH.

There are many plants that do come back each year and don't require a lot of watering. Some thrive on neglect. A person really interested in plants ask different questions.

When you meet a gardener they will say, "What a beuatiful plant. Where did you get that from?" When they see you with your buggy full of plants at the check out line they will say, "You know that plant is so easy to divide or can be rooted easy. I have given so many people pieces of that plant." When a gardener comes to my home and sees my flower garden they say, "I could sit out here all day just looking at the flowers, birds, and bees. Do you have hummingbirds?"

There is a DIFFERENT LANGUAGE spoken by flower lovers and gardeners. 

Through trial and error, gardeners have learned the plants that work for them in their garden. Some have gardens they water everyday filled with beautiful flowering annuals. Some gardeners ONLY have gardens filled with plants that come up every years and they never have to water them after the first year after they are planted. Their are gardens of only ornamental grasses and not one bloom. Water gardens, cactus gardens, you name it. But the common theme is that their plants have a home where they are home.

Advice is given to the single person all of the time, "If they want you, they will make time for you." The same holds true for flowers. If you love flowers enough, you will make time for them. 

I'm not disparaging flower lovers because we gardeners LOVE having flowers for you to enjoy. It gives us great pleasure seeing your reactions to our little beauties. Gardeners enjoy giving gardening tips and/or helping you start your own garden. I have just come to notice, gardeners are a different type of people and when we bump into each other in garden centers the reaction is like, "Yes. This is my tribe. My people."

So, which one are you, a gardener or a flower lover. We need both in this beautiful world of FLOWERS.