STOP Eating With The Enemy (HATERS)

     

One of the catch phrases of the 21st Century is about the "HATER." People complain of having haters or about how others are haters. There is a duality to this 'HATER' business. On one hand people are COMPLAINING about having someone hating them because of their looks or their possession while on the other hand are PROUD to have haters because of their looks or possessions. It has given rise to Facebook pages with titles such as "If You Have Haters, You Must Be Doing Something Right." The phrase (Player Hater) first surfaced in the late 1990s, as hip-hop was becoming mainstream. It was popularized by Notorious B.I.G. "Player Hater was the term given to those who work against or criticize the make-it-by-any-means-necessary ethos of a successful rapper or any successful person."

The phrase was eventually shortened to Hater,  encompassing "anyone who criticized — even constructively — a person's SUCCESS or business practices." Today, it just means ANYONE talking about you.

    Whenever you have someone riding both sides of a fence, loving and hating haters, there is CHAOS and that is just what this HATER-ism of the 21st Century has introduced. You don't know whether it's a compliment or if you should feel sorry for those 'PROCLAIMING' to have haters or to be hated on. I do notice that those being hated on seem to be in a lot of DRAMA all of the time. 

    No one owns up to the fact that they ENJOY drama in their lives. Social media posts state they don't pay haters any attention, it doesn't matter who does or do not like them, they protect their energy from negative people, they are use to being treated badly by bad people, and Karma will handle haters because rotten fruit falls from a tree on its own. All of this is said, yet, endless posts about people mistreating the poster are posted. My answer to those HATED by many LOVED by few: stop eating with any and every body. DON'T BREAK BREAD WITH YOUR ENEMY. 

    This expression, to break bread with others, means more than just eating; it is sharing a sense of brotherhood with someone or some group of people. And it includes, coworkers, boyfriends who are not REALLY boyfriends, cousins, aunts, girlriends who aren't REAL girlfriends. You GET IT. People you know or even your gut KNOWS do not wish the best for you behind your back and for some of you who be keeping good COMPANY with yoor ENEMY, they don't wish you the best to your face.

     Breaking bread, EATING food, whether a snack or a feast is a significant event that fosters some meaningful connection and cooperation. Connections can be POSITIVE or NEGATIVE. You are agreeing to cooperate with people you eat with in a positive or negative way. EATING TOGETHER HAS SIGNIFICANCE AND MEANING ON MANY LEVELS.

    Perhaps you are enemies; breaking bread with someone indicates a sense of forgiveness and moving forward from the offense. It indicates treatment of those eating together is ACCEPTABLE. It indicates APPROVAL of how those you eat with treat you. It is even written in the Christian Bible WHO TO EAT WITH. 

    The importance of who Christians eat with is addressed in 1 Cor. 5:11-12 "But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat." People are looking for signs from the heavens to answer prayers for peace and less pain in life. Don't eat with people who don't make you feel good, special, or worthy, let alone who are envious, jealous, and/or abusive, towards you. WHY? Family or not. You bond over bread (eating) and become (mirror) each other in ways on a spriritual level. That's why the Bible has a passage dedicated to who not to eat with. This warning is for TWO people who claim to be Christians. It is expected for the SINNER to be sinful, but not someone professing to follow Christ. So, you would be dining with a liar. Or you many be the liar. Or both/all of you are liars. 

    Revelation 21:8 But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.” One of the seven deadly sins God hates is a lying tongue (Proverbs 6:16-17). Here is why God hates lying. A person who lies hates the individual they are lying to (Proverbs 26:28). And if you hate another human being, God views the hater as a murderer (1 John 3:15; 1 John 4:20). God hates the sin of lying because it is deceptive. Liars=Hate. Hate=Lies. 21st Century is filled with liars (haters). Don't break bread with them to avoid becoming like them, or consumed by them. Don't INGEST what they are putting out during FEEDING time. You will acquire a taste for the detastable before long. 

    In a mind-body connection, what we do with our physical body such as what we eat, what we take in through touch, taste, and/or hearing, can impact our mental state positively or negatively. This results in a complex interrelationship between our minds and bodies we have failed to give enough weight to in our daily lives. 

     The famous Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev says there is a transfer of energy from one person to the next from hugs and mere handshakes and that is why many people prefer the slight bow instead of physical touch with others. The Guru also warns to be cautious when accepting water, salt, food, and even soil from the hands of others. Instead, only pick up these items others have offered after they have been set down. Not from hand to hand. Here is a link to one such video. 100% DANGEROUS | NEVER HUG AND HANDSHAKE ANYONE | SADHGURU - YouTube

    Science has proven that families that eat together have children less likely to get into trouble and have stronger family bonds. The kitchen has been called the heart of a home. People say the best way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Paul considered breaking bread so important that he said do not eat with fellow Christians who are not living according to God's word. Here are 6 positives eating together can have in bold. I will show how the positive can become a negative following the bold sentence.

1. They encourage attachment. You attach to people with BAD character

2. They promote good behavior. Their back stabbing, gossiping, and two-facedness becomes your behavior

3. Family dinner encourages conversation. Sitting around laughing and talking about others and their situations for enjoyment or to make yourself seem/feel better.

4. They promote adjustment. Never break generational curses just continue to do what all around you continue to do. Complaining becomes normal.

5. Family dinners establish confidence. Only speak when there is something wrong or only to point out faults of others. Look at only problems, ugliness, stress, strife. Only having dysfunctional behavior as an example.

6. They help your child/person learn manners. Unable to dine OUT due to lack of skills in public places around unfamiliar faces. Not modeled by your circle.

    Food and its symbolic meanings play an enormous psychological role in our lives; the consumption of food both defines and nurtures the relationships that people form with others. 

    Studies show that  20% of meals are eaten in the car and 25% of people in America eat at least one fast-food meal each day. Below are some positives associated with eating together as a family Why Eating Together Improves Our Mental Health - Origins Family Counseling

 Community – As people share meals together they share customs of their culture and their heritage.  Oftentimes, stories are shared over a meal that connect people with each other’s worlds.  One study suggests that children are more apt to know about their family history as a result of sharing meals.  These same children were shown to have closer relationships with family members, increased self-esteem, and more sense of control over their own lives.

Sharing a meal together has also been shown to increase the secretion of oxytocin, more commonly referred to as “the love hormone” or the “cuddle hormone”.  This hormone, when secreted, increases feelings of love and closeness between humans.  So, eating together causes a physiological response that draws people  to one another.  The release of oxytocin is known to aid in the digestion of foods as well!

Emotional Intelligence – Neurobiological research has shown that the secretion of oxytocin affects the regulation of the limbic system, which is the part of our brain that controls emotion.  When two people interact with one another, something happens in the brain which Allan Schore refers to as co-regulation.  The hormones that are released affect the expression of genes contributing to the development of empathy and control of aggression.  The neurons that are activated when we interact with others are referred to as mirror neurons.  This explains why we feel the pain of others.

When we choose to bond together over a meal with another person, we are making key connections in our brain that help us regulate our emotion.

Decreased Risk of Substance Abuse in Teens – There is a widely cited study done by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Colombia University.  Their 2012 findings revealed that in families who ate five to seven meals together each week, teens were less likely to engage in use of marijuana, alcohol, and tobacco than families who ate fewer than three meals per week together.  The findings of the study can be seen on their 2012 Family Dinner Report.

    Those who eat socially more often feel happier and are more satisfied with life, are more trusting of others, are more engaged with their local communities, and have more friends they can depend on for support. This is if the PEOPLE you eat WITH are those who you trust with your mind, body, and spirit. What does eating with people who mean you harm on some level do for you? YOU GOT IT. Make you unhappy, less satisfied with life, less trusting, less engaged in your local community, and are LESS people you can depend on for support of any kind.

    Potential benefits can be identified at three different levels: communal, networking, and personal. These can be identified, respectively, with (a) building wider community and inter-community relationships, usually on a large scale but at infrequent intervals (‘feasting’ in the more conventional sense), (b) making and reinforcing (i.e. servicing) friendship and family relationships, usually on a modest scale and at more frequent (perhaps even daily) intervals and (c) at the personal level in terms of health benefits. If you eat with the enemy or HATERS you are building your community, network of friends, and your close INTIMATE circle out of people who don't mean you well. You don't HAVE to EAT with such people. You may have to be AROUND them, but don't eat with them. Only eat with those who love, support, and adore you. 

     There is now considerable evidence, for example, to suggest that the size and quality of one’s social network has very significant consequences for one’s health, susceptibility to illness (and even death), wellbeing and happiness. We also know that activities such as laughter, singing and dancing all lead to an enhanced sense of bonding towards those with whom one does these activities, mainly because they trigger the endorphin system in the brain that underpins primate social bonding. Since endorphins are involved in the control of feeding, the very fact of eating might itself trigger the endorphin system and promote bonding, and doing so socially may lead to the same kind of enhanced endorphin effects from behavioural synchrony that have been noted in physical exercise. Hence, people who eat often with others might be expected to have larger social networks and be happier and more satisfied with their lives, as well as being more engaged with their communitiesBreaking Bread: the Functions of Social Eating - PMC (nih.gov) 

    If you want to be happy? EAT with happy people. Want to be successful? EAT with successful people. Want to be loving, kind, considerate? EAT with loving, kind, considerate people. Want to be miserable? EAT with miserable people. Want to be negative? EAT with negative people. YOU GOT IT.

       There are so many things in life a person can not change and other people is the number one thing a person cannot change. But, a person can change SELF. The practice of INTAKE. What you take into you body through various access points can be LIFE CHANGING. Practice being mindful who you break bread with.