You A Lye

If I came up to your child and threw lye on them you would whip my ass. So why are you perming your baby's hair? You begin the barrage of negativity telling our daughters they are too dark, too nappy, almost from birth and then wonder why they date men who disrespect them. Their first love disrespected them telling them overtly they will never be pretty enough. I don't hate women who perm their hair nor judge them harshly. I just wonder why we embrace what we were not all meant to have - light skinned and straight haired, because it is not in our DNA.
Feminism says I have choices. As women, why do we choose, as black women to be as close to white as possible? There is not one thing wrong with being white if you are white, but then we get mad if our black men prefer an original instead of a copy.
When we decide to stop trying to have it both ways, (I'm a black woman and have white women features) maybe we will love our sisters and stop being in competition from adolescence with them. Maybe we will embrace each other and stop with the purchase of cast off hair from women who know you wish you were more like them and less like yourself.

People speak of the "angry black woman," maybe it's all of the chemicals she puts on her scalp so close to her brain that is causing so much emotional turmoil. Maybe it's the tension and constant itching from the sew in that is causing easy irritability. Maybe it's the stress of constantly purchasing and having on hand/head the right hair to attract the wrong man in the end. Who knows why she is considered angry, but maintaining the image of being black but not too black every day may way on the spirit.

With all of the hurdles we as women face each day of our lives - the "Right" kind of hair should be low on our lists of things to accomplish.

I will not add to the exhausting frustration by trying to guilt or shame my sisters with long, straight, flowing down to your ass hair. I just say I see your beauty in all it's shape and form beyond the hair you wear. My greatest wish is for you to love yourself with or without all of the bells and whistles. But my soul sings when I see baby girl rocking her nappy hair, because that smile of innocence and discovery all baby's have do not shine any less with their natural hair.

Accepting your child as is - is the first step for the world accepting your child as is. We tell our children they can be anything they want to be in life. Do we tell them that included in being anything they want to be when they grow up consist of being natural and nappy and happy.

The hair dialogue and experience is changing. My moment of hair pride was jump started with our First Lady Michele Obama. It was refreshing to see her young girls nappy and happy. As I said we are free to choose and the girls straightened their hair like their mother straightened her hair, but for a while, nappy was just fine. I am not above the straight hair game. I straightened my hair for years and my daughters hair too. i was free to do so. But, later in life I mad e a choice a change and so did they. No self righteousness now from me. But, my journey in life just took another hair path. And now i just sit with the question; "Why not my natural hair?" What else am I revamping for our social construct of what is correct, beautiful, sought after?"