Forced To Be Pregnant (Hadley Duvall)

The most shocking sentence of the night at the DNC was by Hadley Duvall, from Kentucky, "[Donald Trump] calls [total abortion bans] a 'beautiful thing,'" Duvall said. "What is so beautiful about a child having to carry her parent's child?"

What she was talking about was having an opportunity to have a medical abortion for an unwanted pregnancy from rape by a parent. Countless times when I speak up for women being able to have the OPTION of having or not having a child, Christians will say a person cannot be a CHRISTIAN if they support MURDER. To be clear, I do see aborting a fetus as murder. But I also see forcing someone to have a child as potential murder of the mother's spirit, life, as well as the child's spirit and life. There is no telling what kind a life an unwanted child may face. They may even become that person you fear most, a CRIMINAL.

Aborting a child, leaves questions of what that life could have been. But we don't have questions about what WILL be when a woman is raped. And if we listen, we can hear what it will be like for a woman forced to carry and deliver a child produced from rape or incest.

Christians only envision a BUNDLE OF JOY. A glowing PREGNANT woman, refusing to see the violence, ugliness the VESSSEL carrying the baby endured and will perpetually endure. I used the word vessel, because people who INSIST a woman carry a pregnancy reduces the woman to no more than a body acting as a machine to produce a product. To them, statistics about rape doesn't matter. Okay, it doesn't matter. But they are TRUE. And for women who have had this brutality in their life, they should be FREE from people who have no idea of the TRAUMA they have experienced, making decisions in their lives. To me, that is unchristian, Forcing Christian standards on people. It is not the job of Christians. The Bible does not advocate for FORCING Christianity on anyone. 

Have your beliefs. Share your beliefs. But give the living a chance to live their lives as they choose. Forcing a woman to have an unwanted pregnancy is cruel and will cause damage beyond what you will stick around to witness.

Did you know Sexual Assault Awareness Month is in April, each year? I had no idea either. Years ago, I wrote a poem about rape called Every Three Minutes. I entered the poem in a contest and came in third place and I was so delighted because I am not a poet. I did not research the actual statistic on how often a woman is raped. I just have a thing for the number three and decided to use it. I believe using such an impossible high number of women being raped every three seconds would make my poem more impactful to the reader. LITTLE DID I KNOW AT THAT TIME.

Rape is one of those uncomfortable topics people don't want to speak about like racism or mental illness. The difference is rape is a violent criminal act that remains unreported by many victims. It is the one crime where the victim feels shame or guilt that a crime happened to them. Another factor that causing the rape victim to feel even worse they have been sexually assaulted is the fact 80% of sexual assaults are committed by acquaintances. Yes. Friend, uncle, boyfriend, co-worker, and even spouse commit sexual assaults on people they know. Seventy percent of rapes are by someone the victim knows.

Rape is such an unexplainable type of violation. It is an unwanted person physically using a person's body without permission. The rapist is inside of the person's body. How can someone describe their body being stolen from their control? The victim's body is no longer under their own control. 

I have a confession. At one time when I would hear a woman say she was raped or molested as a child, young woman, or adult I would shake my head at the horror inflicted on her. As the years rolled on it seemed almost every woman had an experience of rape or sexual assault until it become normal for me to hear and the story of rape or molestation no longer shocked to me. The horror of the crime didn't lesson my sympathy for the woman, but it just became common to hear and expected as part of the female experience. Did you hear what I just said? 

As of 1998 17.7 million American women had been victims of attempted or completed rape. That is a high number right? Approximately 1.5 million intimate partner female rapes and physical assaults happen each year according to data gathered in a February 10, 2022 report by the Department of Justice www.ncbi.nih.gov/books/NBK499891.

The FBI's Uniform Crime Report as of January 1, 2013, redefined rape as "Penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object or oral penetrating  by a sex organ of another person, without consent of the victim.

Every 68 seconds an American woman is sexually assaulted. In the United States one rape occurs every 1-2 minutes (I guessed correctly for my poem sad to say). One out of every six American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime with 14% of the rapes completed and 2,8% of rapes attempted.

Eighty percent of sexual assaults are committed by an acquaintance and 80% of women experience a first-time sexual assault before the age of 25. Women between the ages of 16-19 are 4 times likely to be raped and women and men with disabilities are 2 times at risk of a sexual assault than people without a disability.  One in every 33 American men has experienced an attempted or completed sexual assault as a child. Twenty-eight percent first time sexual assault occurred at age 10 or younger.

It is important for me to include the fact children experience sexual assaults and never report it to family or authorities. Data reports 95% of child victims knew their sexual attacker. These sexual attackers are family members and friends of family members. Acting Commissioner of Police Edvin Martin said a surge in incest for 2020 compared to 2018-2019. There was a significant increase of incest during the height of Covid-19 lockdown period. 

People tend to have a blind eye when it comes to incest and that is how and why it continues to not be reported and allows 90% of these sexual assaults against children to occur in the home. Authorities estimate incest occurs in over 10% of American families, yet only 20% of the offenses are reported. The crime often goes unreported because it is initiated by someone the child, usually a girl, loves and trusts. Sibling incest is possibly the most common form of incest while 60% of the rapes occur in the home with 37% by a parent, 23% by a stepparent.

States with the highest incidence of incest are: Kentucky (the highest rate), Maine, Delaware, Virginia, Maryland, Washington, Georgia, Oregon, Indiana, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Louisiana, Tennessee, South Carolina, North Carolina, West Virginia, Montana, Alabama, and South Dakota. Since incest is rarely reported, there is not reliable statistics as to how many incest victims there are.

The Criminal Justice System: Statistics Rapes, Abuse, & Incest National Network gives reasons why sexual abuse is not reported:

20% of victims feared retaliation

13% believed police would not do anything

13% believed it was a personal matter

8% reported the rape to a non-law-enforcement official

8% believed it was not important enough to report

7% did not want the perpetrator to get into trouble

2% believed the police could not help

30% had other multiple reasons

It is important not to sweep sexual assaults under the rug because there are long lasting consequences to the assault. In 2012, Missouri's Republican Senate candidate, Todd Akin, said victims of a "legitimate rape" rarely get pregnant because their bodies can prevent them from doing so which sparked outrage throughout the country. Such statements as the one made by Todd Akins continues to downplay the crime of sexual assault against women which has long lasting consequences. 

Women who experience sexual assaults may have depression and substance abuse problems. It is estimated 90% of rape victims experience PTSD symptoms during the 2 weeks following the rape. And 30% report PTSD lasting up to 9 months and 33% contemplate suicide and 13% commit suicide. 

The most important thing a woman, person, should know is sexual assaults is not the victim's fault and there are no sure tried and true ways to prevent sexual assaults. There are ways to reduce the chances of rape in the link I have provided. One of the major tools in the effort to eliminate sexual assaults and abuse is to report the crime to adults and authorities. Reduce the Risk of Becoming a Sexual Assault Victim | Police & Public Safety | UNC Charlotte Only 5% of sexual assault reports filed are proven false. 

Men who commit rape can not be defind or identified by any fact based means. The prototypical convicted rapist is frequently under 25, shorter than average height, poor, and a resident of the inner city. many rapist live in college towns and rape during the evening hours. There have been 3 common characteristics of rapist noticed, lack of empathy, narcissism, and hostility towards women, but may not be true of all rapists. 

There are 3 catagories of rapists:

The Opportunist Rapist: this rapist seizes any chance for sexual gratification, such as loss of self control on the part of their victim under the influence of alcohol

The Sadistic Rapist: motivations are to humiliate or degrade the victim

The Vindictive Rapist: has anger and aggression focused directly towards women. Such a rapist believes he is permitted to sexually attack women because he feels he has been hurt, rejected, or wronged by women in the past

EVERY THREE MINUTES

By Dorothy Guyton

  

Every three minutes-slowly- count; One Two Three

A life is changed it is now filled with shame

Flesh ripped, bruises left, never to be the same.

 

Every three minutes-remember-count; One Two Three

A mother, daughter, sister, niece, shouts a silent scream

Mind clicks off, just survive, pretend it’s just a dream.

 

Every three minutes-you’re use to it-count; One Two Three

Knees drawn as she sits on the floor in the cold drumming shower

Trying to erase the assault on her that lasted forever but was actually under an hour.

 

Every three minutes-count them; One Two Three

Blank stares reflect- the now ghost looking back at her from a steamy misty mirror

Wishful hoping thinking, please, no one guess, please, no one dare see her.

 

Every three minutes a club is joined; One Two Three

Membership requires a forced relinquishment of pride of self -esteem

Flashbacks to the time of terror is one of the private club's dues and ongoing theme.

 

Ever three minutes a chain is formed; One Two Three

Each disfigured link is intertwined in her wounded broken spirit

Her soul's sad song whispers ‘No fair. Why me’ in each searching intrusive lyric.

 

Every three minutes-forgot to count; One Two Three

A crime of power rages, not about sex, but about toxic powerless masculinity

Another man's sickness of pinned up anger unleashed on unsuspecting femininity.

 

Every three minutes-you tire of it yet? One Two Three

Another woman silently accepts her fate thinking shit happens what’s the use

Violence excused 

given another name, another disorder, another acceptable label for abuse.

 

Every three minutes-slowly-count them; One Two Three

The word RAPE is hushed too ugly say; its just sex they say without foreplay

He's your friend, or your husband, or a stranger you led on in some way.