April Fool's Day not for me

I don't know about you, but April Fool's Day is a day I hate along with teachers who are the target of many practical jokes in the name of fun. I for one, do not have a love relationship with jokes or pranks being played on me. This is the day also known as All Fool's Day for a good reason.

Well before becoming a teenager, I cringed at the possibility of someone saying and doing " A pinch and a punch for the first of the month." I had no clue that as the victim I could respond with, "A flick and a kick for being so quick." But as I have learned while researching this blog post, that person in turn could say and do, "A punch in the eye for being so sly." These April Fool's Day customary responses originated in many English-speaking countries, mainly Britain, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand, and South Africa, eventually finding a home in America. YIPPY! (not).

I hope I have given you a taste of why I dread this day which in essence excuse people who pinch and punch you and call it FUN. Yes, it is allowable to have a note secretly taped to your back saying "Kick me," encouraging bullies and bullies in training to kick you in the butt until you discover the note on your back. The slow person, me, usually caught on after about three or four kicks in the derriere. 

Who in their right mind decided let's have a day to make a fool out of a person? The answer - no one knows the origin of this day of no holds barred day of pranks. There is no one from history raising their psychotic hand saying, "Give me credit for this day that may go terribly left with jokes/pranks that are not at all funny."

There is no clear origin of April Fool's Day in history, just speculation. But somehow people have used this day to be a trickster. For the average trickster, there is always the classic April Fool's Day prank of covering the toilet with clear plastic wrap or switching out the sugar for salt ruining a perfectly good meal for a laugh. Can you imagine a hangry person sitting down to a meal, using the saltshaker just to find out it is sugar? Yeah. Good times. April Fool's Day is not a public holiday in America, thank God, but it is in Odessa, Ukraine.

For those who practice playing pranks or hoaxes on people, the April Fool's tradition ends at noon on April 1st, and it is considered inappropriate and not classy to continue to play practical jokes on anyone after that hour. You can cash app me later for giving you this valuable information. 

In Italy, France, Belgium, and French-speaking areas of Switzerland, and Canada, the April 1st tradition is known as "April fish." Possible pranks include attempting to attach a paper fish to the victims back without being noticed. You will thank me for not going into the complicated tale of the French origin of putting a live fish on the back of person's back with a hook unnoticed. But the tradition went from a live fish to a paper fish for April 1st. This is more than likely where the posted note of "Kick me" originated from. Oh, by the way, once the live fish began to stink and the victim discovered it was on them because of the stench, then people would say "April fish," Jokes on you. Ha ha ha. Good stuff huh? It is also a custom for some reason to say, "rabbit rabbit" upon waking on the first of the month of April for good luck.

One of the most famous April Fool's joke was done by the BBC media in 1957. The BBC broadcasted a film in their Panorama current affairs series showing Swiss farmers picking freshly grown spaghetti from trees in what they called the Swiss spaghetti harvest. The television company was flooded with requests to purchase a spaghetti plant forcing them to declare the film was an April Fool's Day hoax.

I presented April Fool's Day as I see it. For me it's a day of wondering if the news headlines are true or false and to look at everyone I encounter that day with suspicion. I face the day with well-founded paranoia. No one can be trusted and as a teen my head was on swivel looking for that infamous kick me sign possibly taped to my back. I got kicked anyway even without a sign on my back. Cheaters! I hate them.

Some of you may remember some public April Fool's Day hoaxes from the past. In 1994 the PC Magazine ran a column about a bill making its way through Congress prohibiting using the internet while intoxicated. The bill was named Lirpa Sloff in the magazine and spelled backwards it read April Fools. Many people feel for the hoax contacting their representatives with protests against such a bill. This prank shined a light on the fact people used the internet in drunken stupors or at least buzzed.

In 1996 Taco Bell said they had purchased the Liberty Bell in an effort to help the national debt, which drew outrage. In 1998 Burger King introduced a left-handed Whooper which caused long lines of left-handed people clamoring to purchase the south-paw burger. Cottonelle got in on the left-handed bandwagon and in 2015 tweeted it was introducing left-handed toilet tissue. 

Google enjoys pulling hoaxes on April Fool's Day. In 2005 Google said it was branching out with a new drink named Google Gulp to help achieve maximum optimization of your soon-to-be grateful cerebral cortex and it was also low carbs. Other fake products launched by Google for April Fool's Day was Google Romance, Google Paper, and Google Voice for Pets.

The question is are we so gullible that media, friends, and family can prank us so easily or are we just trusting by nature? What will April Fool's Day 2022 bring us? April Fool's Day was suspended 2020 and 2021 due to the Coronavirus pandemic, but no such luck this year. No one is off limit, and we will see if the virus will remain off limit this year. 

All I can say at this point is "You have been warned." There could be a prankster eyeballing you right now with what they believe to be their best prank yet. Unlike me, I hope you have a good sense of humor. And remember, just as with Cinderella, when the clock strikes twelve it's all over for the pranksters.