Erickson Stages of Marriage Hypothesis

    

Many years ago, a thought came to me about being in love and married and how people seem to have gotten it wrong. I thought about the dreaded "Seven Year Itch" people would prophesy about happening in a marriage. If a couple survived it then they would have to face the second cousin itch; "Eleventh Year itch" which appears to be even more treacherous.
.
With such dismaying images swirling in my head, I wanted my mind to go back to the floating on clouds wedding day and to the bliss of sensuous lovemaking during the honeymoon phase. I quickly, without effort, remembered the phrase "The Honeymoon Won't Last Forever." and again became dismayed at the short lifespan of happiness a marriage seems to have. Yes, I have seen the elderly couple together proud they made it for 50+ years. I still have to wonder; did they live each year hopelessly in love or did they survive a marriage and SURPRISE! we are still here together with a joint endgame in mind - "To die peacefully." Now the elderly couple are as one - same mind, same goal, same thought - they have truly reached the stage of maturity and becoming one.

It is at the above revelation when I began to ponder: "Is a marriage like the birth of a newborn?" "Does a marriage have to go through infancy, adolescence, adulthood, and old age?" And if so, how could I visualize it and show a comparison? Excitement began to build. Could I take my favorite Human Growth and Development theorist Erik Erikson and apply what he discovered about an individual entity to a newly born/ formed organism of two becoming ONE (marriage) to create a healthy - loving - sustained throughout life - relationship? Is a marriage a singular entity having to go through human growth and development? I say yes and plan to prove my own hypothesis and write a book on it. I ask you to go with me on this discovery and contribute with feedback back or personal experiences along the way.

                                                                        

A working title for this endeavor: Human Growth and Anatomy of Your Love Marriage. (This is very subject to change). Below are the stages we go through as individuals according to Erickson. My hypothesis will examine a marriage at these same stages and how each individual is behaving, responding, interacting with spouse while in this stage. I ask you to hold onto your seats it may get wild up in here at times. But I am so looking forward to this new project along with your input I believe we are onto some groundbreaking work here.
 
All of the material regarding this project will be my property with proper recognition of source materials and contributors to this conversation. Participation: statements, questions, etc will be viewed as permission to use in upcoming printing of materials.  

                                                                                                          

1 The stages: These stages will be the guideline for looking at the anatomy of a marriage.

    1.1 Hopes: Trust vs. Mistrust (Oral-sensory, Birth-2 years)

    1.2 Will: Autonomy vs. Shame & Doubt (Muscular-Anal, 2-4 years)

    1.3 Purpose: Initiative vs. Guilt (Locomotor-Genital, Preschool, 4-5 years)

    1.4 Competence: Industry vs. Inferiority (Latency, 5-12 years)

    1.5 Fidelity: Identity vs. Role Confusion (Adolescence, 13-19 years)

    1.6 Love: Intimacy vs. Isolation (Young adulthood, 20-24, or 20-39 years)

    1.7 Care: Generativity vs. Stagnation (Middle adulthood, 25-64, or 40-64 years)

    1.8 Wisdom: Ego Integrity vs. Despair (Late adulthood, 65-death)

 I am ready to discover some MAGIC