Last Born Birth Order Part 3

 

Welcome to my world peasants. This is something you may hear my last born say. Whether she is joking or serious you will never be quite certain about. The only thing you know for sure is there is more to come. A whole lot more. 

THE LAST BORN The youngest children of the family are typically the outgoing charmers, the personable manipulators. They are also affectionate, uncomplicated, and sometimes a little absentminded. Their approach to life is to get laughs, smiles, and shakes of the head. A typical characteristic of the last born is that they are more carefree, vivacious. They are a real 'people person' who is usually popular in spite of or because of their clowning antics.

    Last-born carry the curse of not being taken very seriously by their families or by the world at large. The last born has a burning desire to make an important contribution to the world. The first-born's biggest influence on them are mom and dad, for the middle child it's friends, for the last child, it's the world at large. They need to impress or be validated by a larger/wider circle of people.

    By the time the last child arrives, mom and dad are not that easy to impress. They have had all of the firsts before such as the first crawl, the first tooth, the first steps and probably wonder why it is taking the last born so long to get all of the firsts over with. Even toilet training becomes a rush job. The baby of the family knows they are behind the others in all activities and functions. They have to work harder to impress mom and dad. By the time the last child comes, them making a poo poo isn't the cutest thing ever seen or smearing their food all over their face as they learn to eat on their own.

    So, the only thing to do about it is to laugh or make others laugh. They get ATTENTION by being charming and funny or by making a mess of things, but they crave attention.

    If you are the parent of the baby of the family, you may notice they ask "Why" it seems to no end. You may think it's you who has just been asked why so many times by the prior children that the last child's whys are wearing on your nerves. It's not you. The baby questions the order of things and develop a "revolutionary personality" questioning everything at nauseum. And the questions never end. They are persistent and they keep pushing until they get what they want be it an answer to their question or an item, or to have permission to go somewhere. They are never above enlisting tears or a tantrum. I bet they are fun to be married to.

    Last-born children choose a different path than their older siblings to avoid direct competition and you can find them in creative professions and the performing arts. Many become actors and performers on some level.

    They may grow up expecting others to take responsibility. This is due to the parents asking the experienced older siblings to do tasks faster and competently instead of taking the time teaching the task at hand to the inexperience youngest of the family. So, the baby learns how to enlist people into service, getting them to do things for them. They have grown to expect others to do things for them. They are not life's volunteers.

    You may be believing there is nothing positive about the last-born child. But, every baby, even babies of the animal kingdom are adorable, even baby hyenas. Last-born is likeable, fun to be around, easy to talk to, they read others well, they do well in social settings, tenacious, caring, wants to help (not take responsibility though), like praise, relaxed, genuine, uncomplicated, confident, good at problem solving (I guess from asking so many questions), trustworthy, entertaining, free-spirited and funny. See. There are good things on their list.

    The negative for them are they are manipulative, flaky, undisciplined, push too hard, gullible, easy to take advantage of, make decisions with too much feeling and too little thought, self-centered, temperamental, spoiled, attention seekers, and impatient 

TIPS FOR THE LAST BORNS 

1. Accept responsibility for yourself, grow up. 

2. Many last borns are messy and need to learn how to pick up after themselves. 

3. Although last borns are people persons, they sometimes struggle with self-centeredness and need to        offer to help others, follow through with the help and to do it without fanfare. 

4. Beware of being too independent. Work on admitting your faults and don't blame others for your            situation when you know you're the one who really caused it. 

5. Always be aware of your gift to be funny, charming, and persuasive. 

6. If you love the limelight, be advised that other people like a little of it for themselves now and then. 7. Before marriage, try dating other first borns, you may find them the most compatible.

    When my last child was born, I admit I was in a hurry for her to hold her own bottle, to learn to walk and watch TV. more on her own. My last child happened to be the most demanding child and took her time in all things. But when she is in a room there is electric sunshine. She is the most social of all of my children and she does get away with so much. She wore makeup before she was sixteen--a rule all the other girls had to go through. A smile from her changes things. My life is so rich for having her in it.

    I myself, being the last child, have been accused of hoarding the spotlight. It is not something that I try to do, but I guess it is something that I do--do. I consider myself spoiled and would not have it any other way. Not spoiled by my parents but by my husband and children. As a young girl I set my wedding date in my mind to be in November. My birthday is in October, November would be my anniversary, then Christmas, New Years, and Valentine's Day---presents for me non-stop. Guess what? My anniversary is in November. I didn't even have to manipulate my potential husband into marrying me in November. It just happened. Both he and I kept procrastinating, due to our personalities and work schedules. My mother picked the date and minister and pretty much told us to show up and we did relieved we didn't have to do it ourselves. DO YOU THINK I MARRIED A LAST BORN? I'll leave that as a mystery.

    I hope you have enjoyed looking at the characteristics of the birth order. If you want to read more on the topic, check out "The Birth Order Book" by Dr. Kevin Leman who is a proud last-born child. The book also talks about how birth order affects marriages.

This was supposed to be just a 3-part series, but I realized I left out the only child. We must not forget them. Stayed tuned for a look at what traits an only child may have.